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The Irony, It Burns.


Kurari
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Was talking to a fairly devout Christian friend of mine tonight. She's been a really good friend of mine since we were in high school over ten years ago, and she never tries to convert me.

 

Tonight we got on the topic of how ignorant Christians are getting about their own religion, and I mentioned just how many Christians don't even read the Bible or understand what the hell it's talking about when it they do read it. I brought up the example of the story of Onan always being the one pointed out as being the basis against masturbation and birth control.

 

She didn't know the story of Onan. :Doh:

 

Genesis

 

Judah has casual sex with a Canaanite woman which results in two sons, Er and Onan. 38:2-4

 

38:7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.

 

38:8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

 

38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

 

38:10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

 

So I gave her the quotes and pointed out Onan CLEARLY is having sex and pulls out early. He is not masturbating and he doesn't want his brother's wife to get pregnant.

 

She said well he was doing something wrong, obviously.

 

And I said, yes, it goes on to say ...lest that he should give seed to his brother.

 

The story wasn't about the sex. It was about the fact that Onan didn't want to own up to his responsibilities to his brother or do what the Lord told him to do. So the Lord killed him for his disobediance.

 

She said she didn't want to get into it anymore without talking to an actual pastor about it...

 

Except that she hasn't been to church since she was in Sunday school.

 

I let her go and freed her back to the wilds of her own ignorance. Maybe the transmitter I put in her ear will start working. Meantime, I need to have a cup of cocoa with a snort of Irish Creme.

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Judah has casual sex with a Canaanite woman which results in two sons, Er and Onan. 38:2-4

 

38:7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.

 

38:8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

 

38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

 

38:10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

 

So I gave her the quotes and pointed out Onan CLEARLY is having sex and pulls out early. He is not masturbating and he doesn't want his brother's wife to get pregnant.

 

She said well he was doing something wrong, obviously.

 

And I said, yes, it goes on to say ...lest that he should give seed to his brother.

 

The story wasn't about the sex. It was about the fact that Onan didn't want to own up to his responsibilities to his brother or do what the Lord told him to do. So the Lord killed him for his disobediance.

 

Sooooooo, don't pull out?

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No Jun, you displease the Lord when you commit porn bloopers by missing her face or chest and hitting the ground. :bukkake::jerkoff::SUCK::crazy:

 

And the Lord aborres bad porn. So sayeth the Lord. Amen. :god:

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I could never understand what the turn-on is with the facial shot. Does this mean I'm not a 100% heterosexual male???? :eek:

Will the lord still slay me if I'm very very nearshighted and I missed because I couldn't see?

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No Jun, you displease the Lord when you commit porn bloopers by missing her face or chest and hitting the ground. :bukkake::jerkoff::SUCK::crazy:

 

And the Lord aborres bad porn. So sayeth the Lord. Amen. :god:

 

That's just rude.

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Hey, if you don't want to knock up your dead brother's wife but wish to only bang her, pull out and shoot it on the ground instead I say you deserve to die too! Animals! :vent:

 

Everyone knows she should have finished him off with a nice hand or blow job. Jeez! That pleases the Lord! :blowjob:

 

mwc

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If Onan was going to screw this girl, now his wife by Hebrew tradition of taking a dead brother's wife as your own, and if he was going to impregnate her, how would this be raising seed to his brother? How would his brother even be in the picture in any way. The child would be the biological offspring of Onan and the widow (now his wife). So what were these people smoking?

 

And why was these people's god always killing everyone for no good reason? I believe these may be lies (I'm just guessing). Definitely sounds like bullshit to me. Definitely. Uh-oh. Gonna miss Wapner.

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I could never understand what the turn-on is with the facial shot. Does this mean I'm not a 100% heterosexual male???? :eek:

Will the lord still slay me if I'm very very nearshighted and I missed because I couldn't see?

 

Well, if you aren't fully male because you don't understand that cumshot hype, then at least you aren't alone.

Wel, to be fair, sometimes I can find that kind of hot... and then, sometimes I can't. I have no idea why, maybe this is linked to the sunspot cycle or something :crazy:, but most of the time I'm like "huh, oh well, some like strange things...".

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No Jun, you displease the Lord when you commit porn bloopers by missing her face or chest and hitting the ground. :bukkake::jerkoff::SUCK::crazy:

 

And the Lord aborres bad porn. So sayeth the Lord. Amen. :god:

 

That's just rude.

 

Sorry Jun, it was meant to be a joke *offers cookies of apology*

 

Honestly though, where and HOW did ANYBODY construe ...and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, as masturbation? They use that term of "going in unto" quite a few times in the Bible.

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Honestly though, where and HOW did ANYBODY construe ...and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, as masturbation? They use that term of "going in unto" quite a few times in the Bible.

 

It's not masturbation per se that is the target of the Church's wrath, it's ejaculating anywhere other than in the wifely vagina. It's the wasting of the seed, when it was intended by the Lord to impregnate the wife, in hopes of producing sons to prove the mighty loins of the patriarch. Be fruitful and multiply, etc.

 

It's the same basis for arguments against any sort of birth control.

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