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Very Intense Experience Tonight


mick
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I had led a friend into reason recently only to see him make himself a intellectual martyr once again for the sake of making peace with his wife. He actually claims to believe once again. (Though he had told me God was a murderer and tha tthe Bible was clearly false.)

 

I spent some time tonight thinking about all the horrors of the God of the Bible. I stopped talking to God very early this year. However, tonight I was home alone with my autistic son and decided to verbally accost Yahweh, and told him this would be the last time ever talked to him like this ever.

 

I told him that if all the scripture and the doctines are true, then he is a total mother fucking bastard. I screamed at him, I cried at him. I told him he sucked. I dared him, over and over, to fucking kill me with a lightening bolt. Of course he never did. I challenged him. I told him he supposedely parted the red sea but he won't even sent a measly lightening bolt to kill me. I called him an impotent piece of shit, which he would be if he were real. I called him a baby killing disgraceful bastard. I yelled as loud as I could in my house.

 

When I was done. I told him I would NEVER speak to him again as if he were real. I told him him he was not real (as crazy as that sounds) , and this would be the last time I talked to him like he was real. I told him I hated him.

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I had led a friend into reason recently only to see him make himself a intellectual martyr once again for the sake of making peace with his wife. He actually claims to believe once again. (Though he had told me God was a murderer and tha tthe Bible was clearly false.)

 

I spent some time tonight thinking about all the horrors of the God of the Bible. I stopped talking to God very early this year. However, tonight I was home alone with my autistic son and decided to verbally accost Yahweh, and told him this would be the last time ever talked to him like this ever.

 

I told him that if all the scripture and the doctines are true, then he is a total mother fucking bastard. I screamed at him, I cried at him. I told him he sucked. I dared him, over and over, to fucking kill me with a lightening bolt. Of course he never did. I challenged him. I told him he supposedely parted the red sea but he won't even sent a measly lightening bolt to kill me. I called him an impotent piece of shit, which he would be if he were real. I called him a baby killing disgraceful bastard. I yelled as loud as I could in my house.

 

When I was done. I told him I would NEVER speak to him again as if he were real. I told him him he was not real (as crazy as that sounds) , and this would be the last time I talked to him like he was real. I told him I hated him.

 

Ah, another case of someone making a decision because of family. Understandable in a way but your friend is probably not being honest with himself.

 

When I was at my worst, I was afraid of God killing me for sinning against him :Wendywhatever: Now of course I know that even if I call the Holy Spirit a devil or biblegod the most evil devil in history, I ain't going to get struck by a lightning bolt or anythin like that. Hehe.

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You're friend is probably going to waffle for a while, but the seed of doubt is pretty clearly there. I wouldn't worry too much about him, some of us just need to hop up and down on the fence a few times before we realize it's safe.

 

And I don't think you're weird at all for yelling at god. That's actually a very effective healing technique, and one that is actually recommended to people who are healing from religious abuse. I think I did that off and on for about a month when I started really deconverting from Christianity. The point isn't whether god exists or not, it's that your straightening out bottled up emotions.

 

Even after I deconverted from Christian to theist, I still told god off occassionally because I believed that god was a truely loving and forgiving individual that was omnipotent so He really understood what was going on anyway. And, well, if you really have a loving relationship with your deity, you should get to tell them when they are fucking up! *L* Never got a lightening bolt for it.

 

Now that I'm Atheist, I just don't care anymore but sometimes I still think YHWH is a complete idiot and should be working in corperate middle management, not running the universe. Give it time and let your anger come out, it's a healthy thing to do.

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