Kelli Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Hmmm. Well, my title pretty much says it all. My wife and I are happier now than we've ever been, now that we've shed all that christian guilt nonsense and become honest with each other. Three of our children don't know about the changes in our lives. We are a blended family, and my teen sons live with their very fundy mom. Our entire family on both sides is christian or fundy in some flavor or fashion, with the exception of my one sister, who abandoned christianity years ago and eventually had to abandon the family as a result. Life is about to get interesting, methinks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 D***, no edit button... I forgot to mention that we've been on a slide out of Christianity for over three years now. Took a while to stop fearing hell, then it took a while to work up the courage to even think about telling family and kids, but I think we're almost ready for that now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Hi EC, Welcome to the forums. The title of your thread is quite funny, even though it's true. We are here to lend an ear, er eyes, to your struggles and triumphs of your new life out from Christianity. You will find a lot of open minded, caring, supportive people here. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 Hi EC, Welcome to the forums. The title of your thread is quite funny, even though it's true. We are here to lend an ear, er eyes, to your struggles and triumphs of your new life out from Christianity. You will find a lot of open minded, caring, supportive people here. Taph Hey Taph, Thanks for the reply. Well, it is kinda funny. If I told you the whole story you'd either laugh or run away in a panic. My wife has repressed her bisexuality since she was a teen, because of christianity. Boy, will my family be appalled when they find out A) We have abandoned christianity. We're now pagan. C) She's bisexual. D) *We* now date women and consider our ideal family situation to be a polyamorous one. Heck, I must admit *I* would have been appalled a few years ago, LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Wow, hope I didn't scare everyone away with my last post. Happy Christmas everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Wow, hope I didn't scare everyone away with my last post. Happy Christmas everyone! You didn't scare me away. I learned a new word today: polyamorous. It came up in another thread, too. I think a lot of us who are newly out of our original faith communities have to do quite a bit of experimenting till we find the right fit for lifestyle. For example, what do you do on a Sunday morning now that you don't have to get up for church? There was a thread about this earlier this fall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Wow, hope I didn't scare everyone away with my last post. Happy Christmas everyone! Don't worry about this. It just that the next couple of days will be slow here. Not so many folks around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 A) We have abandoned christianity. We're now pagan. C) She's bisexual. D) *We* now date women and consider our ideal family situation to be a polyamorous one. Heck, I must admit *I* would have been appalled a few years ago, LOL. I hear you; I was once a serious fundy, and would've been appalled to learn that I'd not only marry a bisexual Pagan woman myself, but that I'd also become Pagan in my own time, and an Atheist as well. Welcome to the boards, CC. You'll find good friends and good advice here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 [Hey Taph, Thanks for the reply. Well, it is kinda funny. If I told you the whole story you'd either laugh or run away in a panic. My wife has repressed her bisexuality since she was a teen, because of christianity. Boy, will my family be appalled when they find out A) We have abandoned christianity. We're now pagan. C) She's bisexual. D) *We* now date women and consider our ideal family situation to be a polyamorous one. Heck, I must admit *I* would have been appalled a few years ago, LOL. Oh Hell, you are just one of us. There are many people here who are, or have been, in polyamorous relationships. We are very accepting of any relationship where everyone involved knows whats going on. If you read the thread, RubySera was refering to, we don't like dishonesty. Otherwise, do what makes you happy. We are here to support your life choices out of Christianity, even sexual ones. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Wow, hope I didn't scare everyone away with my last post. Happy Christmas everyone! You didn't scare me away. I learned a new word today: polyamorous. It came up in another thread, too. I think a lot of us who are newly out of our original faith communities have to do quite a bit of experimenting till we find the right fit for lifestyle. For example, what do you do on a Sunday morning now that you don't have to get up for church? There was a thread about this earlier this fall. Oh good, LOL. I think you're right, it takes a while to find your place. I still don't think we've found ours yet, wholly. Socially we are lost. Church was our life. We lived, ate and breathed it. All our friends were from church. Now we live in a new town, and we no longer go to church so we're lost when it comes to making friends, quite frankly. We even tried the UU church a few months ago and it wasn't for us. What do we do on a Sunday morning? Sleep in. It's the only day I get to sleep in, as I frequently have gigs on Saturday mornings. No guilt here though, after all, the bible does say something about a day of rest, even though technically that day would be Saturday, LOL. As for polyamory, I only learned of the word myself a few months ago. My wife finally became comfortable telling me about her bisexuality a few months ago. Funny enough, I used to joke, half seriously, about having a second wife. When she first told me about the bisexuality it was rough. I didn't really know what to make of it and at first we decided to just have an open relationship. Then we realized that wouldn't work for us, so we decided to work on our relationship with each other and not act on anything unless the right "third" came along. It's actually enhanced our relationship in many ways. We are deeply in love, and the honesty is so freeing. The fun part is being able to tell your wife when you see a hottie and have her agree with you instead of punching you in the arm and being mad at you the rest of the evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Wow, hope I didn't scare everyone away with my last post. Happy Christmas everyone! Don't worry about this. It just that the next couple of days will be slow here. Not so many folks around. Everyone's off dealing with their fundy families for the holidays, LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 I hear you; I was once a serious fundy, and would've been appalled to learn that I'd not only marry a bisexual Pagan woman myself, but that I'd also become Pagan in my own time, and an Atheist as well. Welcome to the boards, CC. You'll find good friends and good advice here Interesting. Having a bi wife is a lot of fun. Having a bi pagan wife is even more fun. Definitely not something I would have thought of as a fundy, though we did have at least one close brush with heterosexual "swapping" with another couple from a fundy church we were in. Funny, that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Oh Hell, you are just one of us. There are many people here who are, or have been, in polyamorous relationships. We are very accepting of any relationship where everyone involved knows whats going on. If you read the thread, RubySera was refering to, we don't like dishonesty.Otherwise, do what makes you happy. We are here to support your life choices out of Christianity, even sexual ones. Taph It's good to know we're normal, LOL. We were really kind of outcasts in the church, with a few exceptions. Oh, the stories we could tell. About the only reason I personally was ever wanted in the church was for my talent. Other than that, I was considered a rebel because I was always questioning things and trying to change things that didn't seem right. OH, the stories I could tell, LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truth Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Hi there, It is great that you are able to let your family what you believe. I am not there yet myself.. I hear you about your past self being appauled by what you are now. I was thinking that this afternoon of how I got to be in this place of disbelief that I would have never imagined it possible, (as I was getting ready to go to my family's place..and since I am using a xitain's computer I will have to go back and erase history of its use.) They aren't ready to know that I am an xtian or agnostic/atheist. And I am not ready for them to know and worry even more about my soul. This is my first xmas as a xitan and well... it is different I have caught myself a few times thinking.. did I just not pray.... I am not going into church for xmas eve service.. I sometimes write xmas now.. I want to celebrate winter solstice.. and well coming to terms with Jesus being totally different from the loving guy is what I find myself going wow... mostly I now wonder about if there is such a thing as fate or the universal good.. or karma... Welcome to the boards, it is a great place here...sometimes it is a serious life saver or sanity saver. Knowing that there are others who have left xiantiy and are like minded has been crucial with me being able to de-convert..and cope being around fundy xian friends and family...and my only non-xtian relative won't come over for the xmas craziness...smart... instead I am freezin my but off in a overcluttered freezing room typing on a ancient archaic computer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Hi Truth, Thanks for your kind reply. I feel for you. I must admit I am apprehensive about telling my family about all this, but I feel the time is right. Our teen daughters know about it and they are fine with everything. In fact, our one daughter lived through being treated like trash by the church right along side us, the other now livesd with us again in part because she could not take her mother's extreme fundyism. I am not certain how I plan on letting the cat out of the bag. My wife already told her father two nights ago, at least about the religion part. I may write about it in my blog, as they read it. More likely I will write them a letter this week while I am off from work. Do take care. It does get easier. And don't fear hell. That gets easier as well. Gradually my fears dwindled and now I am comfortable with being "condemned" as most christians would say I am. I know the truth... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truth Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 My best wishes to you... Yah I hope that eventually the whole fear of hell thing will eventually diminish, I am working on it but after decades of brainwashing it is taking a bit.. I am going to visit my grandmother in her nursing home this morning.. the very godly woman who was a faithful to her god for as long as mentally possibly is now proabally not going to recognize or remember who I am today or even know it is Christmas.. For me I think that is what hell is how could a loving god do that to his faithful servent. If she knew I wasn't a believer anymore she would be heartbroken... which is maybe why it is easier for me to leave xtianity. Hope you are having a merry chirstmas... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Woodleigh Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 ...instead I am freezin my butt off in a cluttered freezing room typing on a computer... Me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 ...instead I am freezin my butt off in a cluttered freezing room typing on a computer... Me too. Hey Woodleigh, good to see you're still around on these forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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