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Praying In A Bad Dream - But Why?


CyborgX
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I had the oddest and most scariest dream. I don't know why but I dreamed that I was struck by lightning in my home and that I knew I was dying. Then I woke up. But just before waking up, just as I was about to, I remember saying: "Jesus Accept Me" as I was VERY sure it was the end for me. It was so odd. So much in the dream when I think back gave clues that it wasn't real. Yet in my mind it was very real at the time. And then why would I say that at that point? It makes me wonder what was going on.

 

I hadn't been feeling well on Xmas eve but Xmas day I was fine all day, enjoyed the day. Went to bed and then I woke up and then went back to bed again, and then that is when I woke up later from that dream.

 

I'm wondering if it's still ingrained in me yet... or if it is more a "just in case..." type of thing?

 

When I am awake and think rationally, I really don't believe that any God could be so cruel and contradicting as the Bible apparently shows.

 

I just don't seem to get it, or understand why I would think something at a point of death but something totally different when I'm awake, and well. I remember even when I was very sick a few months ago I caught myself actually *praying*.

 

I suppose this will take awhile. I don't remember when I "stopped believing" as I don't know now if I totally have yet. I know what I believe when I'm awake though.

 

Dreams - mostly just random thoughts. Or thoughts about recent events. But I have looked up the whole dream on dream interpreation sites and it seems that it means a transformation and good luck, a good and positive thing.

 

But I am curious more as to what exactly it *does* mean. And especially why I did what I did.

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I think it is ingrained, pretty deeply in us and the subcouncious dreams tend to hold things longer.

 

When I was first coming to terms with not being a xian, but not sure if I still believed in god and jesus I would have many nightmares that I was dying or going to die or that it was the end of the world and either jesus was returning or the world was going to end..

 

I sometimes have weird dreams if I fall asleep listining to freethought radio or something and dream about hell.

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I never used to have dreams concerning religion until I started thinking about things. I've had one dram where my Bible was open and this glowing hand was pointing at certain Bible verses, showing me where I had gone wrong, building a case against me....and then another where I died and flew into space, toward Hell's gates. But I yelled (in space) that I was a freethinker and didn't believe in Hell, and it vanished.

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Another thing I gave up just shortly before I gave up religion was cigarette smoking. It's been 11 years (plus a few days) now since I smoked my last cigarette. I have absolutely no desire to smoke and loathe cigarettes; the smell of them burning makes me feel sick; almost as sick as thinking about what the big tobacco companies have done to peddle their product all for the sakes of profit. However, even as recently as a few nights ago, I had a dream that I was smoking a cigarette, cursing myself for not being able to kick the habit. I seem to have these smoking dreams on a rather regular basis.

 

I occasionally also have dreams of deceased family members. Last night, I dreamt that my father-in-law pulled a Jesus and returned from the dead. All the while, I was trying to think of how that was possible; how anyone knew to dig him back up (having seen him buried), or even how his body managed to rid itself of the embalming fluid and replenish the vital fluids. Of course, I dream of a lot of things that simply cannot be possible or are simply not true. Such is the nature of dreams. All it means, as far as I'm concerned, is that dreams are made up of fragments of our memory, fed by our imagination.

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I don't think that the idea of hell will ever be completely gone, or that you will compeletely cease to have these kinds of experiences or anxieties. Recovery is a process.

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