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Does God Have Wisdom Teeth?


The Sage Nabooru
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Here's my question: Since we were obviously not evolved, and were made as we are in God's image, does God have wisdom teeth? Those wicked evolutionists say that we are evolving out of them since we don't need them. We certainly don't, but if we don't, doesn't that show that God screwed up in the design of the human body by creating an unneeded set of teeth that cause more harm than help? Of course not, since God can't screw up.

 

So, does God have wisdom teeth? We assume that God, being God, has a perfect body. So if God does have wisdom teeth, is His Divine Mouth capable of holding them all without problems? If so, then God did not create man in God's image, because then He would have given man a similarily sized maw.

 

Perhaps God does have wisdom teeth, and gave man wisdom teeth to replace those teeth in lost in the old Babylonian days of poor dental hygiene. In such a case, we would continue to develop wisdom teeth, only we would no longer need them due to our brushing and flossing. Does that mean that brushing and flossing is a sin, since doing so removes the need for our wisdom teeth, thus causing us to remove them and thereby seperate ourselves from the ideal God has made us in: His own image? Is our oral hygiene nothing more than SIN?

 

Surely, this is a question of deep theological implications, like the battle over whether Adam and Eve had bellybuttons.

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That's a good one, Sage. Furthermore, does God have a penis?

 

If we're made in his image (for the males, specifically), would God have organs necessary for reproduction? Or is he like a big Ken doll with white hair and a long beard?

 

If Moses saw God's face, why wouldn't God have all the rest of the parts that go along?

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Well, if God does have a penis (which God would have to, if, as the fundamentalists insist, man was made in His exact, literal image), then where did the vagina and uterus come from? Obviously only one sex could have been made in God's image, and that sex is obviously male. Otherwise God could have sinful lady parts and that's simply impossible.

 

Also, if Jesus's physical risen body was able to walk through walls because it was "glorified", then what about the fish Jesus ate? Did the fish become glorified? If our bodies have digestive systems, does that mean that Jesus (and God) had glorified digestive systems, and thereby gloriously digested the glorified fish? Or did the fish simply, upon being swallowed, cease to exist or pass into a higher realm of being?

 

Was the fish passed and made into glorified shit? Or did the fish not become glorified, so when Jesus walked through the wall out of the room, the half-digested fish was left in a gross puddle on the floor where Jesus's body left it behind? Or did Jesus's glorified body become too glorified to engage in base physical actions such as elimination, thus leading to the conclusion that the fish is still in Jesus's body up in heaven?

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Well as a partially evolved specimen who only had two wisdom teeth, I can certainly see why I'm an abomination who didn't end up one of god's chosen!

 

I can also see why god would need a penis, though, since he'd of course have kidneys and a bladder, and with the longer urethra he'd be less prone to an eternity of bladder infections. It wouldn't matter that he didn't have any purpose for his seed, he doesn't seem to have any use for his appendix, either.

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Well, if God does have a penis (which God would have to, if, as the fundamentalists insist, man was made in His exact, literal image), then where did the vagina and uterus come from?

 

Any what was the purpose of man nipples pre-woman? If god made man in his image, and woman was an afterthought.....what's with the nips?

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Yeah... if Jebus ate and drank, he must have had to expel the waste from his body.

 

So that's where "holy shit" comes from... :scratch:

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Well, if God does have a penis (which God would have to, if, as the fundamentalists insist, man was made in His exact, literal image), then where did the vagina and uterus come from? Obviously only one sex could have been made in God's image, and that sex is obviously male. Otherwise God could have sinful lady parts and that's simply impossible.

 

Also, if Jesus's physical risen body was able to walk through walls because it was "glorified", then what about the fish Jesus ate? Did the fish become glorified? If our bodies have digestive systems, does that mean that Jesus (and God) had glorified digestive systems, and thereby gloriously digested the glorified fish? Or did the fish simply, upon being swallowed, cease to exist or pass into a higher realm of being?

 

Was the fish passed and made into glorified shit? Or did the fish not become glorified, so when Jesus walked through the wall out of the room, the half-digested fish was left in a gross puddle on the floor where Jesus's body left it behind? Or did Jesus's glorified body become too glorified to engage in base physical actions such as elimination, thus leading to the conclusion that the fish is still in Jesus's body up in heaven?

 

 

I just had an epiphany... The reason why God was so ruthless in the Old Testament was because of his pent up sexual frustration! Then after he made it with Mary, he got his release, and Bam! He's nice again.... mostly.

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I just had an epiphany... The reason why God was so ruthless in the Old Testament was because of his pent up sexual frustration! Then after he made it with Mary, he got his release, and Bam! He's nice again.... mostly.

 

Well, the reason this revelation came to me in the first place was that my wisdom teeth are very painful right now. It begs the question: Was OT God pissed - pissed enough to be pissed off at his own creation - at his wisdom teeth coming in and chewing through their opposing gums? Perhaps the taint man carries from God is not his sinful nature, but his painful wisdom teeth.

 

And white raven has a good point. Does God have man-nipples? If so, does God know that they lack a purpose, or do man-nipples have a deeply spiritual purpose whose ultimate reality we have yet to break through to?

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