Breaking The Brainwashing

[Guest Anointed Heathen]

I thought it would only be appropriate for my first post on this site to be my story as to how I became an ex-Christian, so here goes.

 

I grew up in a semi-religious home. When I was a child I didn't attend church too often, mainly just on holidays and whenever my parents felt like dragging me along. Around age 9 my parents moved to where I'm currently living. This is the area in which they were raised and attended church their whole lives, so naturally this is where I would start attending church as well. While I had quite a bit of fun at the youth rallies, etc. there were always questions that I had that went unanswered. Instead of becoming educated about the ways of spirituality, I was told not to question God. So there I stayed, brainwashed, ignorant and content in my faith.

 

When I was a sophomore in high school I overheard a debate going on with some fellow classmates. A few were Baptist (which I had grown up to be) and a few were Methodist. They were debating on the issue of "once saved, always saved". The more I thought about that philosophy the less sense it made to me. I didn't see how it was possible to ask forgiveness as a 10 year old, murder someone at 20, die at 30 without repentance and still be given an eternal reward. So I then started attending the local Methodist church. Not long afterward I just stopped going completely.

 

One day I was sitting at home after school and a friend of mine stopped by. He was on his way to church and invited me to go along with him. I had nothing better to do, so I agreed. It was a night I will never forget.

 

We arrived just after the service had begun. I can remember hearing the music as I stepped out of the car. Upon entering the building I was overwhelmed. Never had I seen a group of people with such an intense love of God! They were singing, clapping, dancing in the aisles, speaking in tongues... and all of it radiated the caring and compassion they had for sinners. I felt closer to God that night than ever before. It was my first time experiencing a Pentecostal church, but it was far from my last.

 

To make a long story shorter, I became engulfed by the religion and felt the call to preach. I was surrounding myself with that which I thought was holy. I turned my back on every friend I had up to that point simply because they didn't believe the same way as I. While they were Christian, I believed that because they had not been baptized correctly and had not spoken in tongues that they were doomed to spend eternity in hell. My delusion only grew as the years passed.

 

I do find it fortunate that I felt a call to preach. If I had not, chances are that I would still be a Christian to this day. It is from having a passion for God and wanting to learn more about the Bible that lead to my walk away from Christianity.

 

I remember the exact moment I stopped believing in God. I was in a hotel room in Atlanta, GA. I had just started reading the Bible before laying down for the night when I came across something I had never before noticed in the Bible. I was reading out of the book of Exodus when I came across the passages mentioning what people should be killed and for what reasons (witchcraft, unbelief, disobedient children, etc.) and then I thought back to the 10 commandments. One of those clearly states "Thou shalt not kill." but yet a mere 2 chapters from where those commandments are written it goes into detail about killing people. Now if I had been a mere moderate Christian I would have probably justified it by saying that he's God and he can do what he wants, including breaking his own rules. However since I was an apprenticing preacher I knew better than to simply say that. I knew that the Bible said that God put his Word above his Name, basically meaning that his Word is divine law that CAN NOT be broken. If his Word is above his Name then how would it not be sinning for someone to break that law, even if he told them it was ok to do it? Would a perfect God really order someone to sin?

 

At that moment my world crumbled around me. Everything that I had known about the spiritual realm was unraveled in an instant. It would be a gross understatement to say that I was upset with what I had come to understand. However through this I began searching more and more into the matter. I read everything I could on the arguments against Christianity and I tried to dispute them with the knowledge that I had of the Bible. Sure there were some poorly derived ideas that I was able to disprove using Biblical knowledge, however the really intellectual things were the ones for which I had no rebuttal. I went back to my former pastor and asked him all the questions that had been swimming through my head. He used the generic answers that I had heard hundreds of times over to show why I should still believe that the Bible was infallible and God was real. The kicker though was when he came to the point where he could no longer logically defend the Bible. Then I got the same excuse that I heard as a child, "Don't question God".

 

At least one thing Christianity teaches is true. In order to be a real Christian you must have faith like a child. Without childlike faith, reason starts to enter and take over. The more reason one allows into his life, the less sense faith begins to make. If you're a Christian reading this, I urge you to allow that reasoning into your life. Don't blindly walk by faith, but rather question everything. If God truly does exist, I believe that he would want us to know everything about him that we could rather than ignorantly listening to what the preacher says and taking it as spiritual mandate. You have a brain in your body, use it for more than motor skills. And since you profess Christianity, actually read the book that you say is holy. If you read it without the blinders of faith you'll come to the same conclusion that many others have.

 

Blessed is he who is capable of rational thought, for he hath no need for imaginary friends.

- AnointedHeathen 4:69

[R. S. Martin]

Excellent post! How my heart aches for those "who sit in great darkness" and who above all fear to use the gift of reason "god" (whoever or whatever that is) gave them.

 

I thought I had an excellent answer when I realized that Jesus condemned the negligence of our talents. Since I have the talent for reason, I concluded it was my responsibility to use it. The first person to whom I said that replied, "Yes, yes, but we can think we have a talent where we really don't."

 

I had concrete evidence but I knew further conversation with her attitude was futile. She may be best off in a rule-oriented religion but there are those who are never truly free because of the rules and regulations. Yet they fear to question.

[Mythra]

Yeah, that was a good post, A.H.

 

Funny that, when looking for contradictions in the bible, you don't need to search any further than "thou shalt not kill".

 

And the scales fell off your eyes.

 

Welcome to ex-c.

[Lycorth]

Great post; it is indeed ironic and pleasing that when people get passion for God and Xianity, many of them they eventually find themselves led out of it. I know that was part of it for me.

 

Welcome

[garrisonjj]

I thought it would only be appropriate for my first post

 

I was saved also! Finally, rational thought saved me from the chains of FUCKIN religion and the time and energy wasted on god worship! Great post.

[Mikefight]

Great Post

 

I too once felt the call in my life. I am glad I decided to study the bible. It opened my eyes too.

[riverbank]

I do find it fortunate that I felt a call to preach. If I had not, chances are that I would still be a Christian to this day. It is from having a passion for God and wanting to learn more about the Bible that lead to my walk away from Christianity.

 

Yeah it's often people that are strong Christians that end up walking away. People who are passionate about God and bible are perhaps more likely to end up finding the real deal with christianity rather than sunday only christians whose faith isn't really that important to them.

 

Good to have you here, hope you feel at home.

[Piprus]

"Blessed is he who is capable of rational thought, for he hath no need for imaginary friends.

- AnointedHeathen 4:69 "

 

I like that...good signature line, and a great testimony.

Now that you're free of that xian nonsense, don't you feel better? Sure you do.

Welcome.

[R. S. Martin]

I do find it fortunate that I felt a call to preach. If I had not, chances are that I would still be a Christian to this day. It is from having a passion for God and wanting to learn more about the Bible that lead to my walk away from Christianity.

 

Yeah it's often people that are strong Christians that end up walking away. People who are passionate about God and bible are perhaps more likely to end up finding the real deal with christianity rather than sunday only christians whose faith isn't really that important to them.

 

Good to have you here, hope you feel at home.

 

I suspect the reason is that we are sincere about finding Truth, whatever that may be, while many are concerned about "having" Truth as "delivered to the saints." Just a stab in the dark on my part. I have no idea.