Guest yolanda Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Hi everybody! I'm new to the forum, and glad to be here. My reasons for leaving Christianity are not only because the belief system is irrational, but also because the promises of love and acceptance were empty. I was always told that the church is a place of love, joy, peace, etc. And I was a really good person. But whenever I got into different church groups, I found myself being excluded for doing the right thing. While I was a Bible believer, I followed the rule that says, "let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth," but the other church members thought I was weird. They did everything that they judged others for. So I came away from the church thinking to myself, who the heck are these people? Then, when I went to college, I met many nonchristians who gave me the respect that I never got from church members. So now I'm wondering, where does goodness come from? And why have I been treated so badly by people who claim to have a personal connection with the source of love? Can anyone relate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest virraszto Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I can relate to what you are saying. I have found Christians, and churches to be extremely judgemental. I left the church a long time ago, and kept my religion to myself for years. Now, I'm a non believer. Over the holidays, at a family get together, ( which everyone there was Christian, except me) one family member was talking about a vacation they'd went on. They just happened to hook up with another couple and talked about what a great time they had with them.......until the other couple just happened to mention they were Jehovahs Witnesses. You could have heard a pin drop. Then they said, " well, they were fun until we found out they were JW's. This all of a sudden made them NOT fun, bad, bad people and they avoided them like the plague for the remainder of the vacation. What is up with that? How judgemental is that? Wow! If they only knew I was a non believer, I would bet my last dollar they would disown me. How sad. I don't believe it's the goodness they care about. It's whether or not you have the same beliefs as them, or think the same way they do. I get more respect from non-believers than I ever got from Christians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truth Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Hi Yolanda welcome to the forums. Yes I can relate, I have been hurt by way more xians in the church than from secular folks. As well as seeing the hypocracy in the church of people in ministry and on staff at churches having affairs with one another. I never really saw much love myself in the church.. usually cattiness, snobbery,clicks, and backstabbing and gossip... okay okay.. there were some nice loving people not everyone is like that but for the majority I never really felt all that loved... with one group I did some of the time. The last time that I attended church I left afterwards feeling totally alone and misreable.. that was when I decided I had enough of church and wasn't going to go back..it took a while to come to terms with realizing I didn't believe in xianity either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaman Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Well you have to realized what you are up against when you are in your church. I can not voice for all churches for all are not the same. What I can do is to show you the basic to what church is and to see whether your decision is based upon yourself or based upon what you saw as a form of corruption or hypocrisy. Church is between you and your god. Not you and choir and the members and the pastor and your god. If people are wrong, let god judge them. If God have wrong you then you have all the right to disown yourself away from God. So have God forsaken you? It is only unreasonable to say that all members of the church should act in accordance to the teaching of the bible. Within a church and its members, it is only reasonable to say that there are also wolves among the sheep. If you let these wolves as a premise to chase you out of the religion then one can say to where your faith lies. I'm just giving you the other side of what everybody else here is saying so you can get a balance of things. But like always, I'm glad you bend this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThinkingForMyself Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Hey Yolanda! I too can relate to your experiences. When I was a xtian I attended a few bible study groups. Wow! They were cliquey (I can't spell). I don't do the clicks, gossiping, backstabbing stuff. The last bible study I attended, I was essentially the groups punching bag. They insulted me, excluded me, and left me feeling like an outcast. That's when I started to really question why I bothered going to church. Who would want to be around people like that? I want to build myself up, not be torn down. I even went to a supposed supprt group for people recovering from different issues. The pastor who oversaw that was harshly judgmental of me and quite rude to me. But don't worry, he put on his "I'm the best man of God alive" act every sunday morning. But the recent pastor trying to cheat on his wife with me bit. Well, lets just say that sealed the deal for me. I find people outside of the church to be easier to get along with. I think it's mainly because they have an open mind and are rational thinking people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Realist84 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Hey Yolanda! I too can relate to your experiences. When I was a xtian I attended a few bible study groups. Wow! They were cliquey (I can't spell). I don't do the clicks, gossiping, backstabbing stuff. The last bible study I attended, I was essentially the groups punching bag. They insulted me, excluded me, and left me feeling like an outcast. That's when I started to really question why I bothered going to church. Who would want to be around people like that? I want to build myself up, not be torn down. I even went to a supposed supprt group for people recovering from different issues. The pastor who oversaw that was harshly judgmental of me and quite rude to me. But don't worry, he put on his "I'm the best man of God alive" act every sunday morning. But the recent pastor trying to cheat on his wife with me bit. Well, lets just say that sealed the deal for me. I find people outside of the church to be easier to get along with. I think it's mainly because they have an open mind and are rational thinking people. I'm a new to this too so welcome. And yes, I can definitely relate. Church folk can be some of worst people I come across. They believe that they are higher than others and can be part of the "wordly" people. I was tossed aside also for trying to do the right thing and being too goody just for trying to do the right thing. I was like what the fuck, this is supposed to be church. Oh well, thats just ONE of the reasons I dont believe in christianity and going to church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkyone Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 I'd like to add that I've felt very much like most of the people in churches I've been a member of mostly form cliques or ignore me. There are always the loving, caring ones, too, but usually it's been me "chasing" after people to socialize and generally being disappointed. I finally gave up caring if anyone wants to do stuff with me or talk to me. One phrase I've heard in relation to unloving people in the church is, "God's never done anything to hurt me, so even if people let you down, God doesn't." Or something along those lines. Huh? How do I know God hasn't let me down, anyway? I've tithed faithfully for 10 years and we're the deepest in debt we've ever been. I just don't buy it anymore. Sparkyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 According to the story in GJohn - Jesus prayed for the believers - "that they may be as one, even as you and I are one". The prayer didn't get answered. Most neighborhood bars have a tighter-knit group of folks than most churches I've seen. And, we don't even have to talk about Baptists vs. Pentecostals vs. Methodists vs. Catholics vs. JW's........... Welcome to ex-c, yolanda. Make yourself at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Hi everybody! I'm new to the forum, and glad to be here. My reasons for leaving Christianity are not only because the belief system is irrational, but also because the promises of love and acceptance were empty. I was always told that the church is a place of love, joy, peace, etc. And I was a really good person. But whenever I got into different church groups, I found myself being excluded for doing the right thing. While I was a Bible believer, I followed the rule that says, "let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth," but the other church members thought I was weird. They did everything that they judged others for. So I came away from the church thinking to myself, who the heck are these people? Then, when I went to college, I met many nonchristians who gave me the respect that I never got from church members. So now I'm wondering, where does goodness come from? And why have I been treated so badly by people who claim to have a personal connection with the source of love? Can anyone relate? Welcome! I can definately relate. I think the problem with Christianity is that it spoon-feeds you morality. You can follow all the commandments and the golden rule, and still not really understand or care about them at all. Morality is something that has to come out of life experiance, thought, and deep introspection in order for it to be real. Christianity doesn't really encourage people to think about why they do what they do, just do what they say. Everything is attributed to God and not the great parts of human nature. Of course many people in the church do develop deep senses of morality and can be very good people....but compassion, love, morality, virtue, and are all HUMAN traits, not godly ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Welcome, yolanda I can relate, also, especially in terms of Xians and acceptance. Often times, many serious Xians use their religion as an excuse to take out their hatreds on groups their religion defines as "undesirable" and, despite their platitudes about love and peace, they often create chaos and resentment. Especially when a family member becomes a devout Xian - talking to the rest of the family incessantly about Jebus, making a big deal out of religious ideas, etc. In general, causing division where there shouldn't be any. My ex was pretty fundy. She was obssessed at times with Jebus and with being "pure" and so forth - it ruined not just what could've been a good sex life but a good relationship. Well, she had a lot of other issues as well, but her so-called religion of love and peace and godly perfection did nothing to help her overcome any of it. And she's not the only example; I've seen lots of people who claim to be filled with the spirit of love and peace and in reality act like the jackasses their cult encourages them to be. Hell, I was one myself for awhile. A jackass for Jebus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panglossian Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Hi everybody! I'm new to the forum, and glad to be here. My reasons for leaving Christianity are not only because the belief system is irrational, but also because the promises of love and acceptance were empty. I was always told that the church is a place of love, joy, peace, etc. And I was a really good person. But whenever I got into different church groups, I found myself being excluded for doing the right thing. While I was a Bible believer, I followed the rule that says, "let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth," but the other church members thought I was weird. They did everything that they judged others for. So I came away from the church thinking to myself, who the heck are these people? Then, when I went to college, I met many nonchristians who gave me the respect that I never got from church members. So now I'm wondering, where does goodness come from? And why have I been treated so badly by people who claim to have a personal connection with the source of love? Can anyone relate? This is one of the main reasons why I have left christianity, the 2 facedness of nearly everyone of them, I have recieved more care and support and seen more moral fibre in the majority of none christians than christians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yolanda Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 To be human is to be good. Hey I checked out Marlene Winell's Leaving the Fold today. I'm going to soak in every word! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Welcome to reality Yolanda. And welcome to the forums Panglossian and Da Realist84 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exbeliever Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 My reasons for leaving Christianity are not only because the belief system is irrational, but also because the promises of love and acceptance were empty. All churches are different. I was a part of one or two that had a great "spirit." It seems to me that really conservative/fundamentalist churches are the worst. My theory is that fundamentalism attracts divisive people :angry:. Fundamentalism is generally defined by who they are against. Sermons are usually against something rather than for something else. In my old church, the pastor preached against charismatic worship, Roman Catholicism, the church-growth movement, ecumenicism, Billy Graham, homosexuality, etc. Who would be attracted to that kind of teaching? Contentious people, right? So, you have these (sometimes, rather large) groups filled with people aching to be against others. The only way for a group like this to stay together is to direct their hatred at a group outside of themselves. It's kind of like, "I'll unite with you as long as you hate who I hate." The most dangerous position for a fundamentalist church is being without a common enemy. If a group of divisive people have no "enemy" to unite behind, they begin to turn on one another. It should come as no surprise that contentious people are, well, contentious. It's kind of the nature of fundamentalism. I'm sure that you'll find that there are assholes of all stripes, but maybe they aren't as concentrated in other places. Welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 Hi everybody! I'm new to the forum, and glad to be here. My reasons for leaving Christianity are not only because the belief system is irrational, but also because the promises of love and acceptance were empty. I was always told that the church is a place of love, joy, peace, etc. And I was a really good person. But whenever I got into different church groups, I found myself being excluded for doing the right thing. While I was a Bible believer, I followed the rule that says, "let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth," but the other church members thought I was weird. They did everything that they judged others for. So I came away from the church thinking to myself, who the heck are these people? Then, when I went to college, I met many nonchristians who gave me the respect that I never got from church members. So now I'm wondering, where does goodness come from? And why have I been treated so badly by people who claim to have a personal connection with the source of love? Can anyone relate? Can I relate??? Sounds like you're telling my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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