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Does Not Look Good For Grandparent


truth
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Hi there,

I am feeling kind of melencauly over here, last night I found out my 88 yr old grandmother had a stroke, she is already suffereing from longterm dementia... saw her at xmas knew she mostikely did not have that much time left.

 

This morning my my called and said they took her to the hospital.. they don't usually do that unless they are really bad..the companion called and told my aunt that this had happened and it wasn't until then when my aunt came in that medical treatment was summoned.

 

I know she is really old..and it would be better for her to be out of suffering but it it is still hard thinking about letting go of a loved one...even if they are not the same person they once were. Especially when I am still trying to figure out what happens when we die.. I know she belived fully in the xian god and is at peace with life..or was when she was in better mental capacity.

 

Thanks for listening.. I should get ready to head out to work in the bitter cold this morning..

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Hi there,

I am feeling kind of melencauly over here, last night I found out my 88 yr old grandmother had a stroke, she is already suffereing from longterm dementia... saw her at xmas knew she mostikely did not have that much time left.

 

This morning my my called and said they took her to the hospital.. they don't usually do that unless they are really bad..the companion called and told my aunt that this had happened and it wasn't until then when my aunt came in that medical treatment was summoned.

 

I know she is really old..and it would be better for her to be out of suffering but it it is still hard thinking about letting go of a loved one...even if they are not the same person they once were. Especially when I am still trying to figure out what happens when we die.. I know she belived fully in the xian god and is at peace with life..or was when she was in better mental capacity.

 

Thanks for listening.. I should get ready to head out to work in the bitter cold this morning..

 

Sorry to hear that about your grandmother. Normally I would say a prayer but I dont believe in that anymore. Still, stay strong and hold on.

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Speaking as a grandmother, it's reassuring to me to know that grandchildren like you feel this deeply about the loss of one of us.

 

Sometimes, y'know, we're not so sure....

 

I wish you and your family well through this time, Truth.

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Hey there, Thanks....

We went down to visit her at the hospital in the emergency ward tonight and they couldn't wake her up.. they called a doctor in to look at her and he thinks maybe two to five days she has left..the whole family came in. They are transfering her to a different hospital now.. and I have just heard that she has now woken up. She is completly paralazyed on her left side now, and they think she may have a brain bleed from the stroke. Uhh and my fundy family is quoting scriptures and talking about god...and well it is compforting for them but I kind of find it a little morbid. Trying to draw on my inner strength to pull through this time.

 

In a way I have already been grieving her loss.. since she has had severe dementia for several years now. She was my wise grandmother, and in someways still is and will always be. She was the one Iuseto call in college and talk to when I had a problem and paid for my college tuition so I didn't have to go into debt. She also would not be happy, to know that I am an ex-xtian.

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I hear ya. My mom's dad and his sister were in a similar state by the end of their lives: fairly old, with dementia for one reason or another.

 

It's really hard to watch a loved one go through that. And it's really strange to realize how much the deterioration of one's brain impacts... well, everything, really. Personality, memory, behavior, all of it. It's really hard to see someone develop into someone you don't know anymore, and someone who doesn't know you anymore, either. :(

 

Spend a little time with her if you can, say good-bye if you can, tell her you love her if you can. If she passes soon (and it sounds like she probably will), it's okay to be relieved about it. If you can keep in mind that everybody copes with dying differently, and that maybe that's why your relatives are doing the religious shtick, maybe that will make it easier to deal with.

 

Keep breathing and hang in there.

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Thanks for the hugs.. I just got woken up by my aunt calling me to tell me that they moved her,and that her last remaining sister migtht fly out tommorow to see her before she goes.

 

I will go back out to visit her sometime today,sigh...

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I wish you peace and the strength to hang in there. Your grandmother sounds like an awsome person. I watched my grandmother descend into the depths of Alzheimers. Caring for her was very difficult at times, but listening to her anguish was even worse. There were times when I would pray for her to be released from the torment, other words I prayed for her death. Well, those prayers went unanswered, too. She lived for many years in that state. She lived well into her ninties, though she didn't know she was 90. Very sad.

 

All the best to you with your grandmother and family.

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It's so hard to watch an elderly loved one deteriorate. My grandpa has Parkinson's and he doesn't have too much longer... everyone in the family says this will be his last year. He lives out on the coast, though... i'm going to try to fly out and see him this summer. But yeah... hard stuff to deal with. I feel for you... all the best to you and yours. You have the strength in you to get through this and I am confident you'll find it. *hugs*

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Thanks guys.. I so appriciate the cyber hugs.

 

I went down this afternoon and stayed for about 8 hrs today with her. She did not want us to let go of her hand.

 

The doctor came in today and said that he did not think we would see anymore flickers of recogniztion from her anymore.. well ten minutes after he left she opened her eyes and said hi and talked kind of on and off.. my aunt got her bible out at one point and was reading Psalm 23.. which made me loose it at one point.. I never could stand that verse even as a xian... Kind of has the opposite effect on comfort for me, but if it helps my Gran make it through ok...

 

My dad came up this evening finally after several phone calls to tell him to come again. He was upset but was glad I was there.. and we actually talked and maybe kinda bonded a bit today too.. My parents are spit.. but my mom did come and visit today with my sister. They are dealing differently.. they are of the mind set.. she has already gone.. they have said there goodbyes and want to remember her not lying in a hospital bed. I kind of find it a little cold and callous.. but oh well to each to there own. My sister wouldn't even go over and hold her hand or say anything to her today when she had periods of awakeness and alterness.

 

Its really hard being at home here. The hospital has my number if there is any change in her condition, when I kissed her goodbye tonight... I started to cry infront of everybody..knowing that it may be the last time I see her or her be aware. Have gone through a ton of kleenex tonight.. and my eyes feel a bit like sandpaper from crying on and off today. I'll go down sometime tommorow.. and try to get some sleep tonight.

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truth, one thing that really bugged me about a lot of christians is their general disdain for honest grief. please remember that this process is really a healthy one and there's nothing wrong with weeping for a loss. i remember people telling me not to weep when my good friend died because she was 'with the lord'... i basically told them to fuck off and let me mourn and heal. you're doing the right thing by you and your grandma to express what you're feeling. all that to say, go ahead and cry. *more hugs*

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