Nihil Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 JESUS IS COMING!!!!!!!!11!one The signs are all there! He's coming any moment now! Any moment, He'll be here! Get your shit together, He's coming! Hurry! He could be here any second! There's not a moment to lose! He really is coming! He said He would return, and he will! He's coming! He could come right now! He could come right after you read this sentence! Ok, he didn't, BUT HE COULD! He'll be here before you know it! Quickly, you better get everying squared up! Time is running out! Don't just sit there! He's coming, I tell you, He's coming! Really soon! He's right up the corner, He's just down the block, He's across the hall, and He's coming right here! Hurry! He's going to be here any second! There's no time to lose! Hurry! He's coming! You can't let your guard down for a second! He could come when you're on the toilet! He could come when you're sleeping! He could come when you're reading this! This is no joke, He's really fucking coming! You better be ready! Get ready, hurry, because He's coming back! If you're not ready when he returns its gonna be bad, so be ready! Now! We don't know when He's coming, but its SOON! Really really SOON! The world is going down the crapper, so we know He's coming! He said so! Don't waste time packing your bags, He's coming really quickly! He's almost here! Holy shit, He's really really close! Don't waste another nanosecond! He's fucking coming! Run! Run to the church! Before He gets here! Drive your car, and damn the speed limit! There's no time to stop at stop signs! He's coming, He's so incredibly close! Hurry! He's coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Am I too late? I'm always late for everything. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 JESUS IS COMING!!!!!!!!11!one He's coming any moment now! Any moment,.. He's coming! ... He really is coming! ... He's coming! He could come right now! He could come right after you read this sentence! Ok, he didn't, BUT HE COULD! Don't just sit there! He's coming, I tell you, He's coming! Really soon! He's right up the corner, He's just down the block, He's across the hall, and He's coming right here! Hurry! ... Hurry! He's coming! You can't let your guard down for a second! He could come when you're on the toilet! He could come when you're sleeping! He could come when you're reading this! This is no joke, He's really fucking coming! You better be ready! Get ready, hurry, because He's coming back! If you're not ready when he returns its gonna be bad, so be ready! Now! We don't know when He's coming, but its SOON! Really really SOON! The world is going down the crapper, so we know He's coming! He said so! ... , He's coming really quickly! ... He's fucking coming! Run! Run to the church! Before He gets here! Drive your car, and damn the speed limit! There's no time to stop at stop signs! He's coming, He's so incredibly close! Hurry! He's coming! Sounds like a sex offender. Should Jesus be registered? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 He could come right after you read this sentence! Ok, he didn't, BUT HE COULD! ROFL! Jesus is coming soon, huh? Sorry, that's not something I can swallow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 JESUS IS COMING!!!!!!!!11!one The signs are all there! He's coming any moment now! Any moment, He'll be here! Get your shit together, He's coming! Hurry! He could be here any second! There's not a moment to lose! He really is coming! He said He would return, and he will! He's coming! He could come right now! He could come right after you read this sentence! Ok, he didn't, BUT HE COULD! He'll be here before you know it! Quickly, you better get everying squared up! Time is running out! Don't just sit there! He's coming, I tell you, He's coming! Really soon! He's right up the corner, He's just down the block, He's across the hall, and He's coming right here! Hurry! He's going to be here any second! There's no time to lose! Hurry! He's coming! You can't let your guard down for a second! He could come when you're on the toilet! He could come when you're sleeping! He could come when you're reading this! This is no joke, He's really fucking coming! You better be ready! Get ready, hurry, because He's coming back! If you're not ready when he returns its gonna be bad, so be ready! Now! We don't know when He's coming, but its SOON! Really really SOON! The world is going down the crapper, so we know He's coming! He said so! Don't waste time packing your bags, He's coming really quickly! He's almost here! Holy shit, He's really really close! Don't waste another nanosecond! He's fucking coming! Run! Run to the church! Before He gets here! Drive your car, and damn the speed limit! There's no time to stop at stop signs! He's coming, He's so incredibly close! Hurry! He's coming! Jeezushchrist! Now you tell me!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Jesus is coming soon, huh? Sorry, that's not something I can swallow. Yeah, I had to spit it out - I don't like man cum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Am I too late? I'm always late for everything. mwc No, you're nopt too late, BUT YOU COULD BE ANY SECOND! You gotta hurry, right now, before its too late! Throw yourself on the ground and beg for mercy before he gets here! Oh shit, He's coming! Hurry! Its almost too late! Maybe I should post this on a xian site.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 One of the books of the Bible, one of Paul's letters, is mostly about settling down a group of people who thought he already came and they missed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Throw yourself on the ground ... Ow! My head! Fuck this! Now I gotta get a band-aid. Now I will be late. I knew it. It's always somethin'. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 The Pocket Christ-O-Matic... It slices! It dices! Remember, order before midnight tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 The Pocket Christ-O-Matic... It slices! It dices! Remember, order before midnight tonight! And if you order now you will get your copy of "Salvation for the Damned" as well as the "Mark of the Beast Eraser Kit" (a hundred dollar value) for only $19.95 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Jeebus must be the best lover on the planet, since he's been such a long time coming... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Jesus needs some leather stuff so he will definitely come. Be kinky, my guys and gals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Jeebus must be the best lover on the planet, since he's been such a long time coming... BEHOLD! I COME QUICKLY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 He must piss off the ladies, though. All those promises about him "coming" quickly, and still nothing. He'd tire out any woman for sure, I'd think Sounds like he's got killer stamina, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 The Pocket Christ-O-Matic... It slices! It dices! Remember, order before midnight tonight! And if you order now you will get your copy of "Salvation for the Damned" as well as the "Mark of the Beast Eraser Kit" (a hundred dollar value) for only $19.95... Nah, make it $19.98. Payable in three equal instalments of... Uh, never mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trancelation Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 This fella's been coming a long-ass time. He might wanna see a doctor about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts