Why The Christian's Laughter Is Full Of Pain

[Guest Glaswegian]

When you hear the laughter of some Christians do you ever wonder why there is so much pain in it? Why it often has the effect of causing tiny alarm bells to start ringing inside of you? Why it can make you solemn and reflective in the way that a great tragedy does? Why you feel a little saddened in its aftermath? Perhaps on witnessing this kind of laughter issuing from the Christian's mouth you have been so shocked by it that you have turned away from him, lowered your head and whispered to yourself: 'My God. The pain in that laughter! Doesn't he realise how awful it sounds?'

 

No reasonable person would blame you for wondering how the Christian can be blind to the pain in his own laughter given that the pain which fills it is so stark in nature, so blatant and unmistakable, so flagrant as to be nakedly obvious. This is why even though one finds the Christian's laughter excruciating one cannot help but be intrigued by it at the same time. This laughter is so anguished in tone, so forced in its delivery, so hysterical in its outburst that one involuntarily shrinks from it as if from an exploding boil. One feels acutely embarrassed for the Christian on hearing his pained and desperate laughter. Indeed, one is even moved at times to pity him because of it. That said, the pain in the Christian's laughter is so uniquely awful that it demands an explanation.

 

The reason why the pain in the Christian's laughter creates such a strong impression on rational individuals, and makes them prick up their ears whenever they hear it, is because it reveals more about the Christian's inner being in an instant than a very large book could ever do. What this laughter reveals about the Christian in such an immediate and striking way is that he is an individual who suffers greatly from himself: more precisely, that he is someone to whom something terrible has been done, something shameful, and that the person who has done this terrible and shameful thing to him is none other than himself. How do we know this? Because the Christian's laughter is a laughter which resonates with deep and unrelenting guilt. It is the tortured laughter born of an individual who cannot live with himself, an individual who recognises at some level of his being that he is disgraceful and contemptible, an object to be despised. This is why on hearing it the man of finer feelings and good taste immediately averts his eyes from its source.

 

The terrible and shameful thing which the Christian has done to himself inwardly, and which fills his laughter with so much pain, is that he has murdered his freedom and integrity for the sake of his religion. The Christian is only too willing to perform this deplorable act of self-sabotage because he is a weakling who is terrified of assuming responsibility and control over his own life and decisions. Rather than determining for himself what kind of person he will become and how he will live, he pretends that a Divine Being exists external to himself so that he can abandon himself to its will and authority. Thus, instead of taking charge of his own existence, instead of being the author of his own destiny, the Christian chooses to adopt an infantile orientation to life by clinging abjectly to his religion, by clinging to a childish delusion, by clinging to the apron strings of 'God'. As a consequence of choosing to be un-free and inauthentic in this way, by choosing to remain locked in a state of permanent infancy, the Christian allows his own existential possibilities to wither and die: so much so, that long before his body expires he becomes something false and vacuous, a shell of a man, a desiccated nonentity, the ghost of what might have been.

 

The pain in the Christian's laughter, then, should be understood as summarising all the anguish and guilt he feels at having betrayed himself, all the hurt and rage he feels at having neglected and disowned his true potentialities and goals, all his secret shame at having made a travesty of his life. His pained laughter announces to the whole world in a direct and emphatic way that he is a cowardly wretch who dreads his own freedom, that he is unnerved by the innumerable possibilities of existence, that he is so afraid of thinking and acting for himself that he is willing to forgo the possibility of his own self-creation.

 

Given that what the Christian thinks, says and does are done in almost total compliance and conformity with the directives of a fantasised power which lies outside himself (viz. 'God') this means that he is not really in his 'own' thoughts, not really in his 'own' words, not really in his 'own' actions. This accounts for why he is prey to recurring feelings of emptiness, depersonalization and unreality - and the horrible suspicion that he is merely going through the motions of being alive. The Christian is necessarily divorced from his whole inner life and experience because what he thinks, says and does are informed by, or are done in accordance with, a 'Divine Power' which is perceived as other than himself. The Christian, in effect, exists only in absentia for he is a person who has absconded from himself. His self-being is really a form of death-in-life.

 

Having considered the above it is hardly surprising, then, that the pain in the Christian's laughter leaves the rational person who has the misfortune to hear it somewhat depressed. For it signifies a human tragedy - the tragedy of an individual who, out of weakness and fear, has failed to achieve an authentic mode of being, who has never grown up, and who has wantonly sacrificed two of the most precious things a human being can possess: viz. his own freedom and integrity.

 

Regards

 

James

[JGJ@ReligionisBullshit]

Not a bad generalization essay, but not much of an argumentative one since it is over-generalized and full of faulty logic. I only say this because many Christians could eat this one for breakfast. I guess I would have to classify it as an opinion without support essay.

[Piprus]

I would also comment that I think you're over-generalizing to the whole christian population. They're just not all the same, and there are different types of christians. Some I've known, even family members, are devout fundies, but they're genuine, and their merriment is real. On the other hand, one could easily say that there are agnostics and atheists whose patterns of laughter belies deep inner conflicts.

 

I'm just not seeing what you're seeing.

[Unknowing1]

What I get out of this is how can someone be truly happy in life when they are constantly trying to live their life not in a way that they would want but the way someone else tells them to. You can't have an original thought unless it is in keeping with what the church or bible tells you. I agree that this reasoning can apply to just about anyone regardless of whether they are Christian or not but with a Christian you not only have friends and family telling you what to do, what to say or what to think but you also have the cult that you belong to keeping track and telling you what to think and do as well.

 

In some instances these folks who are involved in these cults masquerading as churches have alienated themselves from anyone outside of the church and therefore the church has become the only social outlet they have. To not believe or not live their life in a way the church wants them to can cause social ostracism and sometimes even family ostracism. They lose everything they had before. They know they can't break away because of that one thing. In that case can you truly be happy? Can all your laughter in life be true merriment?

 

And truly how can you live your life to the fullest extent when you are constantly having to do or say something someone else says just so you can get to the pearly gates? You live your life being constantly told that you are bad and struggling to be good and the guilt just naws at you. And why are they doing this? To get the end reward of a ticket to heaven and life everlasting. And you just hope and you just pray and just worry that you are one of the chosen few.

[Onyx]

As I said on that other forum, Religious Forums:

If there is any pained innerselves caused by religion, it is of legalism or controlism. Legalist or controlist religions can depress anybody. It's not just fundamentalist Christianity, it can apply to fundamentalist Islam, Judaism, Shintoism, Buddhism, Roscurianism, any other extremist, controlist and legalist versions of religions. For non religious, it's controlism and menace. You can't generalise, it can affect anybody.

 

Man, you should know better. Either that or prove it. Truly pained individuals rarely laugh or never laugh, if they laugh, they cry afterwards. Truly happy people almost alway find a good reason to laugh and/or share great moments with themselves or other people. Humanity's like that.

[currentchristian]

What I get out of this is how can someone be truly happy in life when they are constantly trying to live their life not in a way that they would want but the way someone else tells them to. You can't have an original thought unless it is in keeping with what the church or bible tells you. I agree that this reasoning can apply to just about anyone regardless of whether they are Christian or not but with a Christian you not only have friends and family telling you what to do, what to say or what to think but you also have the cult that you belong to keeping track and telling you what to think and do as well.

 

In some instances these folks who are involved in these cults masquerading as churches have alienated themselves from anyone outside of the church and therefore the church has become the only social outlet they have. To not believe or not live their life in a way the church wants them to can cause social ostracism and sometimes even family ostracism. They lose everything they had before. They know they can't break away because of that one thing. In that case can you truly be happy? Can all your laughter in life be true merriment?

 

And truly how can you live your life to the fullest extent when you are constantly having to do or say something someone else says just so you can get to the pearly gates? You live your life being constantly told that you are bad and struggling to be good and the guilt just naws at you. And why are they doing this? To get the end reward of a ticket to heaven and life everlasting. And you just hope and you just pray and just worry that you are one of the chosen few.

 

May I ask what church you were affiliated with and for how long? Were you forced to attend by your parents?

 

The reason I ask is that I find it very hard to relate to what you are writing about and I could not relate at all to the first post in this topic. But perhaps my experience with religion is very different?

 

My parents were not religious at all. Never, ever, took me to church. I went on my own because I enjoyed it. I attended a Southern Baptist Sunday school in rural Missouri and was baptized in that church when I was ten years old. I loved it and don't remember all this "down and out" and "sinner" stuff. Maybe it was there and I just don't get traumatized over things such as that?

 

We moved from that area when I was 13 and I stopped attending church, although I would watch religious television. At 16, when I could drive, I began attending an Assembly of God church, very rural, very literalist. For five years I was involved with that. While I left it for various reasons and don't regret my decision at all, I don't remember being spiritually abused or made to feel like dirt or made to suffer for my sins, etc. Since age 21, I have attended no church in any regular sense (not even, especially not even, on the holidays). Yes, some things I was told were nonsense, etc., but my experiences were so much different than those of many I read here.

 

Even as a gay person in churches that did not accept gay people, I did not suffer. Some inconvenience, for sure, but no suffering. I suppose we all react to things in different ways. Some are more sensitive to the opinions of others and, therefore, take things to heart more quickly? Some never get over a hurt from a 5th grade so-called best friend or the end of a marriage, and others just bounce right back. Does this hold true for religious hurst as well?

 

Just wondering.

 

-CC in MA

[currentchristian]

As I said on that other forum, Religious Forums:

If there is any pained innerselves caused by religion, it is of legalism or controlism. Legalist or controlist religions can depress anybody. It's not just fundamentalist Christianity, it can apply to fundamentalist Islam, Judaism, Shintoism, Buddhism, Roscurianism, any other extremist, controlist and legalist versions of religions. For non religious, it's controlism and menace. You can't generalise, it can affect anybody.

 

Man, you should know better. Either that or prove it. Truly pained individuals rarely laugh or never laugh, if they laugh, they cry afterwards. Truly happy people almost alway find a good reason to laugh and/or share great moments with themselves or other people. Humanity's like that.

 

Very good points. As I think back, some of the religious people I grew up with and still know, from fundamentalist churches, laugh as much as anyone I know, and these are real laughs. Some of the craziest, wildest people I have known go to Pentecostal churches. Definitely, there is religious abuse and brainwashing, etc. But Coca-Cola does that, too. And look at the recent Harvard study (please see editorial from today's NYT, below) that proves that the tobacco companies have intentionally increased the nicotine level in cigarettes over the past decade. Why? To keep the nicotine-enslaved, enslaved, while they and their stockholders grow richer and fatter off other people's misery. There's much abuse to go around -- and it most definitely is not all coming from religion. In my view.

 

-CC in MA

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

January 23, 2007

Editorial

Nicotine Manipulation Confirmed

 

Any doubts that the tobacco industry has surreptitiously raised the nicotine content of cigarettes should be laid to rest by a study from researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health. They confirmed last year’s discovery of the nicotine increase by the Massachusetts Department of Public Health and went on to identify how the tobacco companies designed their cigarettes to accomplish this.

 

These manipulations were discovered because Massachusetts requires manufacturers to use a more realistic test to measure how much nicotine is deliverable to typical smokers and requires companies to report design features of their cigarettes. When Harvard researchers reanalyzed the data they found that the nicotine yield per cigarette rose by an average of 11 percent between 1998 and 2005, a conclusion contested by the industry.

 

Harvard researchers concluded that the companies managed this by using tobacco containing a higher concentration of nicotine and perhaps also by slowing the rate at which cigarettes burned — thus increasing the number of puffs per cigarette. The companies presumably hoped that additional nicotine would hook more new customers and keep old ones from breaking the habit.

 

Their continued bad behavior makes it imperative for Congress to grant the Food and Drug Administration the authority to regulate tobacco products, including the power to reduce nicotine levels and demand extensive data from the companies. The Senate overwhelmingly approved such legislation in 2004, only to have House Republicans block it. With new Democratic majorities in both houses, it is time to rein in this rogue industry.

[Unknowing1]

May I ask what church you were affiliated with and for how long? Were you forced to attend by your parents?

 

The reason I ask is that I find it very hard to relate to what you are writing about and I could not relate at all to the first post in this topic. But perhaps my experience with religion is very different?

 

Please note that I said that the statements of the writer could apply to almost anyone whether they are Christian or not. I then directed my comments toward Christianity and my beliefs about organized religion because that was the theme of the post and because this is an ex-christian forum.

 

Now, I realize that not all Christian people are like that, I do believe that it depends on which religion you belong to, how you are brought up and what your beliefs are. In addition it also depends on how far into religion you are, meaning how active you are within the church.

 

I never said I attended this church. But I know people who do. It is a non-denominational, charismatic, reformed church. My comments are based upon statements that have been made to me by people who do attend this church. The statements that have been made during different periods and for different reasons but they have all come out the same. They can't leave because of social and family ostracism and they are miserable.

 

This church does nothing in the community and does nothing even for their own members. Their main purpose is to make disciples and plant new churches. When you read their mission statement and then look to see what they do with the money they collect, you do not find donations to charities or even volunteer work done on behalf of the needy, their newsletters are filled with their activities to garner new disciples. Their website is filled with books to read telling you have to do this, how to do that, they even have a book on how women should dress. One booklet even tells women how to treat men in business and how to supervise if you as a woman are in a supervisory position over a man. Hmmm and it ain't the same way a man would treat another man.

 

Let me site one example, the church was collecting funds to build a multi million dollar building. That's fine but they had a congregent who had two child who were wheel chair bound due to a genetic neurological condition. The family car wasn't wheelchair equipped. Everyday the mother would struggle to unload her children at school. The custodian would help her. One of the staff at the school noticed and started a fund drive to collect money for the family to purchase a van that was wheelchair accessable in order to make her life easier. The community not the church came forward and donated enough money for the van. What gets me is how in their nationally distributed newsletter the church took credit for the whole thing. Nope, the church didn't donate any money nor did the congregation and neither the church nor the congregation handle the fund raising, a school staff member who didn't even belong to the church did. The church had their priority and that was to raise money for the new building. Do you honestly believe that all of the folks attending that church felt good about taking credit for something someone else did? Does taking credit for something that someone else did not equate to lying? I'd feel miserable if I was a member of that congregation and wouldn't laugh heartily if we were discussing something regarding the purchase of the van.

 

I have also based my comments on various testamonies and comments made by others on this board, along with information I have found during the reading I have done on leaving cults. The theme is the same. In addition I researched various denominations when I decided to leave the catholic church because I did not believe what they believed and wanted a more liberal denomination that would be more interested in the human aspect.

 

Based on the article you submitted as a comparison to the manipulation of churches, I totally agree, the tobacco industry is manipulative and it is time for the federal government to step in. But you rein in one manipulative industry then you should rein in them all and churches should be no exception.

[currentchristian]

May I ask what church you were affiliated with and for how long? Were you forced to attend by your parents?

 

The reason I ask is that I find it very hard to relate to what you are writing about and I could not relate at all to the first post in this topic. But perhaps my experience with religion is very different?

 

Please note that I said that the statements of the writer could apply to almost anyone whether they are Christian or not. I then directed my comments toward Christianity and my beliefs about organized religion because that was the theme of the post and because this is an ex-christian forum.

 

Now, I realize that not all Christian people are like that, I do believe that it depends on which religion you belong to, how you are brought up and what your beliefs are. In addition it also depends on how far into religion you are, meaning how active you are within the church.

 

I never said I attended this church. But I know people who do. It is a non-denominational, charismatic, reformed church. My comments are based upon statements that have been made to me by people who do attend this church. The statements that have been made during different periods and for different reasons but they have all come out the same. They can't leave because of social and family ostracism and they are miserable.

 

This church does nothing in the community and does nothing even for their own members. Their main purpose is to make disciples and plant new churches. When you read their mission statement and then look to see what they do with the money they collect, you do not find donations to charities or even volunteer work done on behalf of the needy, their newsletters are filled with their activities to garner new disciples. Their website is filled with books to read telling you have to do this, how to do that, they even have a book on how women should dress. One booklet even tells women how to treat men in business and how to supervise if you as a woman are in a supervisory position over a man. Hmmm and it ain't the same way a man would treat another man.

 

Let me site one example, the church was collecting funds to build a multi million dollar building. That's fine but they had a congregent who had two child who were wheel chair bound due to a genetic neurological condition. The family car wasn't wheelchair equipped. Everyday the mother would struggle to unload her children at school. The custodian would help her. One of the staff at the school noticed and started a fund drive to collect money for the family to purchase a van that was wheelchair accessable in order to make her life easier. The community not the church came forward and donated enough money for the van. What gets me is how in their nationally distributed newsletter the church took credit for the whole thing. Nope, the church didn't donate any money nor did the congregation and neither the church nor the congregation handle the fund raising, a school staff member who didn't even belong to the church did. The church had their priority and that was to raise money for the new building. Do you honestly believe that all of the folks attending that church felt good about taking credit for something someone else did? Does taking credit for something that someone else did not equate to lying? I'd feel miserable if I was a member of that congregation and wouldn't laugh heartily if we were discussing something regarding the purchase of the van.

 

I have also based my comments on various testamonies and comments made by others on this board, along with information I have found during the reading I have done on leaving cults. The theme is the same. In addition I researched various denominations when I decided to leave the catholic church because I did not believe what they believed and wanted a more liberal denomination that would be more interested in the human aspect.

 

Based on the article you submitted as a comparison to the manipulation of churches, I totally agree, the tobacco industry is manipulative and it is time for the federal government to step in. But you rein in one manipulative industry then you should rein in them all and churches should be no exception.

 

Your points are good. Right now, as I drive to work I notice on the left a "Future Home of Such and Such Church" and about 50 yards down the road on the right another "Future Home of Such and Such Church." Everyone has their right to do what they want and until we walk in someone's shoes, we can't judge, etc., but I have often wondered why these two congregations can't combine their efforts and build one church that they all attend or even have two services for each group if their worship preferences are that diverse. Why build two churches?

 

And don't most churches sit empty most of the time? That doesn't make sense, either. Why not have one congregation service for one brand on Sunday, one on Monday, etc. Why must everyone meet on Sunday mornings?

 

Believer me, I have many, many criticisms of churches. But I have just as many of the cult of sports, the cult of consumerism, the cult of materialism, the cult of youth, the cult of breasts and penises, the cult of younameit.

 

-CC in MA

[Unknowing1]

Your points are good. Right now, as I drive to work I notice on the left a "Future Home of Such and Such Church" and about 50 yards down the road on the right another "Future Home of Such and Such Church." Everyone has their right to do what they want and until we walk in someone's shoes, we can't judge, etc., but I have often wondered why these two congregations can't combine their efforts and build one church that they all attend or even have two services for each group if their worship preferences are that diverse. Why build two churches?

 

And don't most churches sit empty most of the time? That doesn't make sense, either. Why not have one congregation service for one brand on Sunday, one on Monday, etc. Why must everyone meet on Sunday mornings?

 

Believer me, I have many, many criticisms of churches. But I have just as many of the cult of sports, the cult of consumerism, the cult of materialism, the cult of youth, the cult of breasts and penises, the cult of younameit.

 

-CC in MA

 

Oh, so you're one of those folks who drive and do other things at the same time, thereby risking my life and the life of my family members! There, that's a criticism. I too have critism's of many a thing, all people do. But it's what we do with them that matter.

 

I agree with you on the church issue, but in a lot of cases no two denominations would consider using the same building and I believe it is mainly because of the ours is the correct and only true religion mentality. Normally when I see two different denominations using the same building it is because one of the two has either had a disaster occur at their building or in most cases, they are helping establish a chuch for immigrants. Most of the time the smaller denominations will use the public schools (at least in my area) until they raise enough funds to build a building or buy one. It's sad because it is such a huge waste of money, money that could be used to help those truly in need. But since I am a Humanist/agnostic of course my priority would be to use the money to help my fellow humans instead of building a mega building. I just find that to be a higher priority than to attend a church or spend additional time assembling in a beatiful building with a roomful of hypocrites and praising a deity that does less than others I know to help end suffering.

 

Anyway the point to my original post was mainly that with friends and family telling you what to do say or think, and then you add in the church, congregation and Bible, that's a whole lot of considerations that you must make. I really do know some people who cannot do anything without consulting their pastor, even right down to buying a van (yes the folks who needed the van wouldn't buy one until they consulted thier pastor first).

 

The church I told you about has their congregants sign a relational committments document. It covers just about everything right down to saying that if you don't agree with the church or do something they don't like they will speak with you privately. If you continue, they will go before the whole congregation to get you to change your ways. If that still doesn't work then you are thrown out of the church and other members, including your family are told to treat you as a non-christian. In addition they will contact other churches and tell them about you. How's that for social and family ostracism. It's in black and white on their website relational committments. So the threat is there and it will only take one complaint and you lose everything.

[currentchristian]

The church I told you about has their congregants sign a relational committments document. It covers just about everything right down to saying that if you don't agree with the church or do something they don't like they will speak with you privately. If you continue, they will go before the whole congregation to get you to change your ways. If that still doesn't work then you are thrown out of the church and other members, including your family are told to treat you as a non-christian. In addition they will contact other churches and tell them about you. How's that for social and family ostracism. It's in black and white on their website relational committments. So the threat is there and it will only take one complaint and you lose everything.

 

This would not be a type of religion I'd be interested in. Not at all. But to each his own, I guess.

 

-CC in MA

[nirvana]

Well written, I love it. I see it so clearly in my mothers laugh. It's completely automated.