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Let's tell a story


Guest Zoe Grace

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Guest Zoe Grace

Ok I'm going to start a story...who wants to play? Just tack onto it. Sorry, but I can't handle the one word at a time thing.

 

please leave a jumping off point for the next person if you decide to play:

 

 

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Once there was a girl named June who lived on a tiny island. She decided she would venture to the mainland for the very first time. She'd never been off the Island, her parents having sheltered her from the big bad world, but she decided it was time. She told no one of her plans, she just went down to the boat dock where she saw....

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The mean Capt' which hated little girls, wants to kill them. So The Capt' shot but June ran and ran till she were blue. She tripped over a rock and very hurt. She was afraid but a man shot the The Capt' to pieces.

Jane were glad and she traveled on the man's boat....

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...for nearly 3 years. He called her "Swabby" and made her do chores all the time, but June loved her new life at sea. She became adept at catching fish and preparing them to the The Man's taste. Jane had left one small world for another, and she had become complaisant and dull. Until one day, fate intervened...

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Jane walked for what seemed like forever upon the flat, endless land. To her horror, she found the mainland was now ruled by apes who spoke perfect Americanized English. Hiding in the tall grass, she observed the apes as they went about....

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... discussing philosophical and religions matters, and not very quiet about their opinions. The ape with the big yellow/pink cone hat picked up a branch, and started to hit one of the other apes, when a large elephant came violently running through the bushes.

 

Jane got scared of all these events and screamed loud and clear. The elephant stopped in his tracks and the apes turned their heads…

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The elephant started dancing a war dance, for it was the descendant of elephants that had been genetically engineered at Disney BioLabs, as had the apes. The apes and elephant were now frightened, for the demons of the past had returned. The scent of homosapiens was smelled once again. Jane now cowering turned to run, but....

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…a big Mickey Mouse was blocking here path. Jane got stunned, and started laughing at the silly vision. She took a step backwards, and walked over some loose dirt. The ground gave away, and she fell down a shaft with walls covered of roots and moisture.

 

The shaft was slanted and wet so the ride was like a slide at a water park. She traveled for a minute. She finally came to a stop when…

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Sunlight barely illuminated that space where Jane came to rest. Looking around she could make out symbols carved into the wall. She was baffled as to their meaning, being raised on an island and all. Suddenly a man wearing a fedora stepped out and clasped a hand over her mouth and pulled her toward an opening in the wall, where a symbol of a pyramid with a seeing eye was engraved. The apes began rapelling into the cavity where Jane fell, and arrived at the bottom just barely after the hidden door closed where Jane and the man went through. The apes now knew what they must do...

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They made a simian battering ram out of Mongo, the most thick-skulled ape in the group, and began beating on the door. But alas, the door would not give. Their next move was to...

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have one of their pet howler monkeys insert his penis into the ancient keyhole in the door and then fed him Viagra they had confiscated from the ruins of the phermaceutical factory. Alas, the monkey started howling loudly and the lock snapped. The largest ape, Manata, kicked the door open and they all followed him in. Candlelight flickered upon the walls of the tunnel as they made their way deeper and deeper into the unknown. Suddenly a blast of air hit them, carrying the scent of humans and another scent.....

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upon rounding the corner they saw June, the mysterious man, and the origin of this other scent.. it was the scent of the mutant clone of Jesus Christ.. manufactured by the last known human scientist in an effort to fell the ape-people in their conquest to dominate humanity. The apes howled at the sight of the six armed, four eyed Messiah.. as he lunged forward and tore Manata's head from his neck and began feasting on the stump. June, horrified by this display, turned and ran down the corridor into the darkness..

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the man followed close behind her, but he was having trouble keeping up. Ever since Indiana Jones woke up from the cryogenic chamber, his ability to run long distances had not been restored. Indiana ran for his life, as the mutant messiah munched on the helpless apes. Reaching a ladder, Indiana and Jane climbed upwards to the surface. By this time the mutant messiah was also after them, as a hungry God is not picky on what primates he eats. Indiana pushed the cover open and saw in the distance a structure that raised hope in his heart. Standing 200 yards in front of him, with electric lights burning was the last outpost of civilized humanity. Blazing in neon was a sign that read "American Atheist Association". Grabbing Jane by the hand they ran with a limp as four hands of the mutant messiah reached up from the bowels of the Earth....

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indie ran until his legs burned, he could smell the sour breath of the carnivorous saviour right behind him. "DOU SHAALL NAWTT KIIIIEEELLL!!" grunted Jesus, as he lumbered toward the two. all of a sudden a voice came from the building ahead, "DUCK, NOW!" indie ducked and rolled to the side, clutching june, as a volley of arrows found their mark in the torso and head of Our Lord, he slumped to the ground and groaned "I DIEE.. FUH YOOHHR SIINNnnnsss.....*choke*", he then lay still...

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from a hidden spot emerged the clone of Osama Bin Laden carrying an AK-47 and enough semtex to bring down a bridge. "Allah Akbar, die crusader shaitan", he yelled and ran at the mutant messiah with his gun blazing. The mutated messiah absorbed the fullisade of lead and turn toward Osama, catching him as he neared and using Kung Fu moves, flipped him into a wall. Indie grabbed Jane and headed to the secret Atheist laboratory where he hoped to find...

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to dress up as Mary Magdeline and entice the mutant messiah by showing some leg. Quickly, while the osama clone and the mutant messiah were fighting, Jane and Indie swapped clothes. The Osama clone was finally killed when his semtex accidently went off and the mutant messiah cuaght a vision of the pseudo Mary Magdeline. Holy lust ragin through his veins, he started towards "Mary", his excitement plainly seen bulging nder his robes. Indie/Mary, played coy, btting eyelashes to draw the mutant messiah in. As the Jesus mutant approached, Jane hid behind a column and prepared to....

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Guest Thanatos

pounce upon jesus like a teenie bopper at an N'Sync concert. Once jesus was in range and thoroughly distracted by Indie Magdeline, June lept upon him pulling his eye from the socket using her mouth. June fell to the floor as the lord flailed about in agony tripping over the sprawled june and accidently scanning his thumb on the identification pad.....

 

 

(btw i'm new, nice to meet you)

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Guest Tiffany

The Identification pad cleared the now dead mutant Jesus for entry when Jane spotted something lurking in the dark corridor, it was Pinhead, he seemed to be waiting for her arrival.

 

The Dark Lord tortured Jane and indie with barbed hooks and rusted knifes ... "Your suffering will be legendary, even in hell!" Said Pinhead. But Jane managed to free herself and indie after pulling multiple hooks from her body, they ran even deeper into the labyrinth and soon they came upon the huge diamond shaped figure of Leviathan, (the God of all that is flesh) it was obvious this thing had no weakness of any kind so fighting it was out of the question. Jane and indie collapsed under the dark light of Leviathan when Tiffany ran out of the haze and saved them from an eternity of pain ...

 

 

 

(BTW, Welcome Thanatos :beer: )

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by skipping around Leviathan and singing "On the Good Ship Lollipop" and completely amusing Leviathan that it it exploded in laughter and died. Indie and Jane were still trapped, for Pinhead and the again resurrected Mutant Messiah had decided to team up and were hunting for them. Indie accidently pushed on a hidden lever in the atheist lab and a hidden door opened which revealed two fireman type poles and a tunnel that led down. Realization hit Indie like a ton of bricks...he had discovered the lair of that force of justice known as Batman. Using a lifesize cutout of madelyn Murray O-Hare to repel the Mutant Messiah and Pinhead from entering the lab, Indie and Jane slid down the poles to arrive in the cavernous Batcave. They were suprised to see a familiar figure sitting behind the controls of the Batcomputer, wearing the familiar black armour .... Indie was shocked yet relieved, for he knew this hero well....

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