ThinkingForMyself Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I thought this would be a good thread. Perhaps we call can share a few laughs with stories about those pesky fundys. Here's one I've got (it's a true story): There this one fundy pastor who has been to Bible College, graduated, and got work as a pastor. She's married to another fundy. They're both Pentecostals and have overseen a large church. Now just so you know these are extreme fundys. They're the type that think if you aren't praying, looking like an idiot for God, and speaking in tongues then you aren't living hard enough for God. Anyways, these fundys moved from Canada to Bangkok to oversee missionaries in South East Asia. They've been there for about two years. Just recently the wife started a blog about her experiences. This one was all about how she has been walking around the streets in downtown Bangkok praying aloud, speaking in tongues and crying. While I was reading this all I could think of is "How would this look to the average person living there?". If I was minding my own business and saw a foreigner walking down the street talking aloud to nobody, crying, and speaking a language nobody understands, I would most likely head to the other side of the street. Personally, I think this story is pretty funny. Do any of you guys have any stories to share? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smellincoffee Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I've seen an entire congregation file out of a church, gather around a bus, lay hands on it, and then pray for the bus in the name of Jesus -- so their nonexistant "bus ministry" will be blessed. Jesus hasn't got around to doing anything yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I have a Darwin and evolve fish on my car. This christian lady proudly pointed to her bumper sticker that said "Darwin is dead." I said; "No shit! He's been dead for about 120 years now." She replied; "Evolution is a lie." My reply; "Lady, have you even read any of his books? Have you even read a science book?" She had a blank stare on her face. "Then you're just talking out of your ass." I walked away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 There was the cube I shared with a born-again fundy for 8 months. Made for some great rants (you can probably find some here if you go back to the early 2006 posts), but he was really annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Idoless Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I think this picture speaks for itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clearview Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 On that sign... "Ankle biters"???? Aren't ankel biters little kids? Or tiny dogs? I must admit that sometimes both make ME sick, but what does this have to do with fundies? That cracks me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smellincoffee Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 He's got a point about people who watch TV instead of studying the Bible. If they studied it, we'd certaintly have more ex-christians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhia Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I think this site speaks for itself: www.jesus-is-savior.com It's quite crazy-fundy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Idoless Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I think this site speaks for itself: www.jesus-is-savior.com It's quite crazy-fundy... Yeah they are nuts. Except for the 9/11 being an inside job part. That's true. Unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 On that sign... "Ankle biters"???? Aren't ankel biters little kids? Or tiny dogs? I must admit that sometimes both make ME sick, but what does this have to do with fundies? That cracks me up. Uh-Uh. I saw myself on that sign in at least three places. I watch TV more often than I study the babble. I talk to my pet everyday but never to the imaginary sky-daddy. I'm probably a rebellious woman, too (at least by their standards). Guess I'm doomed to hell. Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 The sign reads "animals" on one part. What's wrong with animals???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 My parents technically arn't fundy, we don't even go to church anymore however once in a while parents say fundy things and go fundy on me. NOTE TO READERS: My parents are yet to know the bad news. Ironically they always thought college would change me. I changed before then though Today for example: I was telling my dad what classes I am doing next quarter in college. I said philophy Then the coversation over the phone Him- You know that class will challenge Christianity Me- ya Him-well is there anything else you can take Me- I am going to take a class that wants us to think Him-( shocked) Now why would that challenge Christianity? Oh yeah the unwritten 11th Commandment Thou Shall Not Think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shotsy Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I think this picture speaks for itself. Hey, that guy's ranted and raved at my school a few times... where was that picture taken? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I think this picture speaks for itself. Let me see where I fit on that list I am a Computer Freak When I was a Christian, I did watch TV than more than read the Bible I was a bad Christian I talk to my dog more than God, at least she has responses I like Rock Music so that means Jeezus hates me Sex Perverts, heck I look at porn and boy is it good...wow I keep getting more strikes against me Money Lovers....nothing wrong with money I guess I get checked off on that I am going to say False Religion because one way or another my old Christianity was somehow false to another form of Christianity Its funny I do fit a lot of these categories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThinkingForMyself Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 I fit into a lot of those categories too. Nothing wrong with money. Without money you can't do much in life. Like go on some pretty cool trips. I see nothing wrong with sex. As one who has been deconverting from 10 years of the brainwashing, for the last 7 months, I feel I missed out on a good thing. I watch tv more than I study the bible. Even when I was a christian I found tv more interesting and relevant than the bible. I talk to the walls of my apartment more than I have ever talked to God. Let's see now, I am a computer freak too. Where would I be without my beloved computer? Hell, here I come! As long as I'm far away from the fundies, I say it's a great place to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clearview Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 The sign reads "animals" on one part. What's wrong with animals???? They are prone to biting people's ankles, and therefore are doubly-damned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 It's funny the first post mentioned missionary activity, the one thing I found somewhat amusing after leaving Christianity was the false success stories. "We went to Thailand and we converted seventeen entire villages to Christianity!" Oh yeah? Which ones? Show me on the map. No, that's South Carolina. That "general area", huh? If I go there will I find a bunch of Bible-believing Christians? I will? Because, see, I'm going to Thailand in three months. What's that? It's more important for me to convert others than to re-visit places that have already been converted? Okay, whatever you say. "Half the population in China is Christian!" "We helped the people in India burn their old idols!" "We founded twelve new churches in the Cherokee reservation!" What they really mean to say is, "We went to this place, taught some locals some basic tenets of Christianity, handed out a few pamphlets, and never saw a person come into our church or get baptized but for quota purposes consider every person who made eye contact with us as a converted member." Not that I'm saying that missionary activity is okay. I'm just saying it's funny sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exbeliever Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 On that sign... "Ankle biters"???? Aren't ankel biters little kids? Or tiny dogs? I must admit that sometimes both make ME sick, but what does this have to do with fundies? That cracks me up. I bet that dumbass meant "pillow-biters," but got it wrong. Seems that would fit more in with his bigoted bullshit. What a fucktard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exbeliever Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 The sign reads "animals" on one part. What's wrong with animals???? I think it is "party animals" he hates. It's hard to keep track. He must write like he thinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necrosmith Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 My Christian in-laws told me they'd pray that I get accepted to Berkeley. I thought that was funny, but they meant well so I thanked them. Logically, they should be praying that I don't get into Berkeley and that I somehow come back into the fold and go to Biola or some other crazy college. Oh well, more evidence they don't truly believe their bullshit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahh! Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 I have this guy in one of my classes who just goes on wikipedia all period and says who is a Christian and who isn't. I sit 3 computers over. He is LOUD. Here is an average period: "Muhammad Ali is a muslim. He will go to Hell. The leader of the ACLJ is a messianic jew. He will go to Heaven. Kanye West is a Christian. He will go to Heaven..." And so on. One day I finally got annoyed (this is five hours a week he does this!) and said, "what if God decides to change the rules and everyone goes to Hell?" "God wouldn't do that" he exclaimed. "God can do anything right?" I asked. His intelligence response, "I think you want everyone in your secular agenda." "Whatever, ******* (his name)." We haven't talked since. He still does this every period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Ah, morontheism in its pure form. All about selfrighteousness and holier-than-thou nyah nyah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I have this guy in one of my classes who just goes on wikipedia all period and says who is a Christian and who isn't. I sit 3 computers over. He is LOUD. Here is an average period: "Muhammad Ali is a muslim. He will go to Hell. The leader of the ACLJ is a messianic jew. He will go to Heaven. Kanye West is a Christian. He will go to Heaven..." And so on. One day I finally got annoyed (this is five hours a week he does this!) and said, "what if God decides to change the rules and everyone goes to Hell?" "God wouldn't do that" he exclaimed. "God can do anything right?" I asked. His intelligence response, "I think you want everyone in your secular agenda." "Whatever, ******* (his name)." We haven't talked since. He still does this every period. Try calling out, "Jenna Elfman is a Scientologist. She's free and healthy." "Sarah Silverman is Jewish. She's covered in thetans." When he asks you to be quiet, accuse him of religious intolerance and suggest that he's just trying to get everybody on Xenu's side. Usually I believe in peace, but when somebody's being loud and disruptive, it might be interesting to reply in kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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