The Fear Of Death

[HoustonHorn]

Growing up I always had a pseudo-Christian worldview. I never went to church, never prayed, never tithed, nothing like that. But I always just sort of "knew" that God was God. Then I spent about 4 years as "born again" and believed most everything in the Bible to be literally true.

 

Now that I'm out of Christianity entirely, I've found that my fear of death has gone down. Sure, I don't want to die, and the actual point of knowing I'm about to die scares me a little. But the thought of actually being dead doesn't bother me anymore. And that seems very strange to me that when I believed in an afterlife I was terrified of death and now that I believe my last breath will really be my last breath I'm ok with the idea.

 

Even during my born again phase I knew that Christianity at least partly existed to calm fears of death. But as it turns out, it had the opposite effect on me.

 

There's not really a question in here anywhere, just an observation that I felt like passing along

[Eponymic]

Even during my born again phase I knew that Christianity at least partly existed to calm fears of death. But as it turns out, it had the opposite effect on me.

 

There's not really a question in here anywhere, just an observation that I felt like passing along

 

I can certainly relate to that. I never felt comforted by heaven being their after death. Mainly because hell is preached so much more.

[Poonis]

I was never afraid to die until I was 12 when my mother informed me if I wasn't "truly saved" that I would "go to hell when I die." Becoming apostate in my early 20's gradually rescinded that fear and today is about %99.8 gone.

 

I suspect that the length of time it takes to fully eradicate beliefs is equivalent to the amount of time spent believing them.

[Taphophilia]

I'm not afraid of death, but I'm a tiny bit anxious about how. I wouldn't want to die a horrific traffic accident, be the victim of random violence, or suffer in pain until the inevitable. Dying peaceably in one's sleep would be perferred or at least on a moraphine drip surrounded by family and friends to herald your exit out of life.

[YDOAPS]

I was never afraid to die until I was 12 when my mother informed me if I wasn't "truly saved" that I would "go to hell when I die." Becoming apostate in my early 20's gradually rescinded that fear and today is about %99.8 gone.

 

I suspect that the length of time it takes to fully eradicate beliefs is equivalent to the amount of time spent believing them.

I did it in less than a year. I was a born-again Bible believing Baptist from as far back as I can remember until I was 17.

[Poonis]

I was never afraid to die until I was 12 when my mother informed me if I wasn't "truly saved" that I would "go to hell when I die." Becoming apostate in my early 20's gradually rescinded that fear and today is about %99.8 gone.

 

I suspect that the length of time it takes to fully eradicate beliefs is equivalent to the amount of time spent believing them.

I did it in less than a year. I was a born-again Bible believing Baptist from as far back as I can remember until I was 17.

 

Well then! YOU WERE NEVER A TRUE CHRISTIAN!

[LosingMyReligion]

The only thing that scares me about Death is how it will happen.

 

I would prefer to be one hundred and five and die in my sleep.

 

However, I don't want to be...

A.) gunned down

B.) burned in a fire

C.) stabbed to death

D.) Drown

E.) die of some insidious disease.

 

If I were dying of a disease I think I would do the assisted suicide thing, if my quality of life was so horrendous that it would be no point in going on...

 

However, as far as what goes on on the otherside...Hmm, I find myself not caring as much. I just want to make the most out of this life as possible. My fear of the afterlife has waned substantially. When I was a christian I ALWAYS thought about it. Now, I don't give a damn. The irony.

[bluewizard]

I don't think about death or God or religion anymore unless I've been reminded of those things. Mybe it'll change as I get older, I don't want to die but I'm not exactly fearing death.

[riverbank]

Growing up I always had a pseudo-Christian worldview. I never went to church, never prayed, never tithed, nothing like that. But I always just sort of "knew" that God was God. Then I spent about 4 years as "born again" and believed most everything in the Bible to be literally true.

 

Now that I'm out of Christianity entirely, I've found that my fear of death has gone down. Sure, I don't want to die, and the actual point of knowing I'm about to die scares me a little. But the thought of actually being dead doesn't bother me anymore. And that seems very strange to me that when I believed in an afterlife I was terrified of death and now that I believe my last breath will really be my last breath I'm ok with the idea.

 

Even during my born again phase I knew that Christianity at least partly existed to calm fears of death. But as it turns out, it had the opposite effect on me.

 

There's not really a question in here anywhere, just an observation that I felt like passing along

 

yeah, it's not really bothering me now. Although I will say that if I know I was dying of cancer or whatever, I cannot be sure I wouldn't have some worries about dying. But hopefully that won't be for some time, I'm only in my early thirties.

[Jella]

When they told me I had cancer in 2004, and it didn't look good, I can't say that I didn't fear death, but I did, moreso because I felt I hadn't been honest with myself, or people in my life. I wanted to coral everybody I had ever known and cared about and throw a huge party. Naturally playing all the tunes that I had grown up with, and hung around certain groups listening too, ( it's funny how a song takes me back to an exact time with a certain person or persons) but I would make the annoucement to them all that I was gay, and sorry I had left so many of them wondering if all the rumors were true. Funny ain't it that I'd even care, but I just felt I had to justify myself and tell each and everyone of them what they meant to me.

 

It was also profound in that, I did decide at that time I was indeed a non-believer, or I guess atheist. I remember them asking my relgion, I said protestant, and they had a pastor/minister come by to chat with me. He was a nice guy, and I didn't mince any words. It had been really the first time I had spoke exactly what was in my heart/head. He knew he wasn't going to convince me otherwise, and really he was pretty nice about it, and after an hour or so he left. He did pop his head in one more time after that to just see how I was doing, but it was clear he didn't want to spend any time. I guess he figured what for.

 

It really seem to be a paradigm shift for me.

 

I don't want to die, but I realize it's part of life and don't fret too much about it. I still intend in throwing that party, however, I hope it will be a marriage between me and a special fella.

[Kurari]

I'm not afraid of death, but I'm a tiny bit anxious about how. I wouldn't want to die a horrific traffic accident, be the victim of random violence, or suffer in pain until the inevitable. Dying peaceably in one's sleep would be perferred or at least on a moraphine drip surrounded by family and friends to herald your exit out of life.

 

I'm with you here, Taph. My fear isn't really about death, it's about how. Right now I'm having a lot of trouble and anxiety with the idea of getting old since I'm dealing with my elderly mother. It's frighting that I might one day be stuck in diapers again like she is, as well has mostly crazy and with very little to my name. She's not even dying. I'd rather shave the years off my life and die before then.

 

In my job, I read a lot of medical reports, and sometimes the ones I come across where a patient has died jars me a little. Some of them detail some horrific and painful ways to die from lingering illnesses. Others are just so abrupt, it's disconcerting. Like the one I read where a guy went out for an afternoon of shopping, came home, changed his clothes, walked into the kitchen to ask his wife something, and just collapsed and died right there on the floor. Just like that. He was dead before the paramedics came.

 

I guess if I was going to die, I'd rather die like that guy did. Go out, live my life as normal, come home, and die without warning. No pain, no fear, no knowledge. Just drop. Kill me in an accident or something, just make it quick...I'd rather die young and with everything going for me.

[smellincoffee]

Death doesn't scare me, but dying frightens me some. I don't want to spend my last few minutes in life in pain, trying to breath because of a heart attack, you know?

[shotsy]

I think I'm still afraid of death. It's not so much the death itself as the feeling that I haven't really lived life yet. I'm less than a year out of a religion that consumed my entire previous existence. I've never had sex. I've never even kissed a girl. I'm still in college and dependent on my dad, and I haven't yet built a strong network of friends outside of the church. There's way too much life ahead of me, and the idea of death is, well, mortifying Plus, I'm still not quite over the feeling that I might be wrong about all this and I could be headed for hell.

 

Maybe after Quarter at Sea in Asia I'll feel like I've lived a full life

[starelda]

My only fears about death is about how and when it'll happen. I don't want to die a horrible, painful death nor die young I had the same fears as a Christian despite belief in heaven. Death also scared me as a Christian because my husband and family are atheists...I was scared of what would happen to then. But then that fear eventually forced me to start examining my beliefs...starting with hell and then snowballing from there. So it came good in the end.

[necrosmith]

I agree with Mr. Clemens 100%:

 

Mr. Clemens was once asked whether he feared death. He said that he did not, in view of the fact that he had been dead for billions and billions of years before he was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

[Unknowing1]

It's the how that scares me. If I could go to sleep and not wake up that would be ideal. The chances of that happening are probably low though.

 

I watched my mother suffer and die from cancer. She lived six months from the time of diagnosis until her death. The week before her death she couldn't talk, didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't open her eyes and appeared to be in constant pain. Eventhough they were giving her pain medication it wasn't enough.

 

Watching what she went through and knowing what others have gone through (I processed death claims for a couple of years and talked to family members daily when they reported the death of their loved one) has made me a proponent of assisted suicide.

[BlueGiant]

Not sure if I fear death. Still have some leftover christian programming that leaks through every now and then, which doesn't help any.

 

First off, dying sucks, not looking foward to it. Just hoping that the way I go doesn't suck too badly.

 

As for being dead, the thought more makes me sad than anything else. Right now, it is mostly because of all the people I'd leave behind, especially a very special woman. And a lot of things just aren't known. And, well, I don't like the whole unknown thing, it just isn't tidy. At the same time, it is going to happen anyway, so I try not to worry too much about it.

[LosingMyReligion]

I think the general consensus is that no one wants to die a shitty painful death. Death itself is fine(natural part of life), but I don't want to die tragically.

[KenneyVTX]

Without an afterlife, we're left with nothingness. I've found myself pondering this recently and I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea. What is nothing? How can we describe it? Death is just one of those things that just is, no agenda and no meaning in and of itself. I agree, I'd rather just simply stop one day rather than have the decline. Just this past month, a friend of mine ended his battle with ARC. I saw how his partner poured himself into his final days. I wouldn't want to be in either position.

[Fretbuzz]

A couple things stick out for me:

 

1) As far as I can remember, I didn't freak out and complain about being born, so why should I about dying?

2) It appears that this porcess has been going on since a time out of memory - why even consider whether or not it's something to be feared?

 

.. and ya - I still don't wanna die like everyone else

[Kelli]

Interesting thread. I can completely relate.

 

When I was a christian I feared hell. I feared it quite a bit because I really had a "I'm always failing" complex that started with my dad and played out in my life as a christian. Now I am an agnostic but I know the sort of things I'd like to believe. I'd like to believe in an afterlife. Not one where some people are tortured for eternity, but where all eventually find their place and live in peace with each other. Probably wishful thinking, but I wouldn't mind it anyway.

 

Anyway, I'll take death either way. I don't fear it anymore. About the time I began to leave christianity (a few months after) I was diagnosed with a very rare heart disease. It's basically the same disease that causes otherwise healthy athletes to drop dead on the playing field without warning. I thought I was going to be dead within six months. My health was extremely poor at that point, because my heart was not nearly efficient enough to provide enough oxygen to my 6', 200 lb frame.

 

The diagnosis couldn't have come at a better time. I was working for a christian radio network, something I had previous to my employment there wanted to do my whole life. By then I had seen the hypocrisy and in fact the hypocrisy (sacrificing your employees to work extremely long hours with no overtime pay or comp time, and being out of town away from your family constantly, all in the name of getting people "saved") was what had caused my diagnosis. I was born with it, but the stress and long hours brought it to the point where it could be diagnosed before I simply dropped dead.

 

So as a result, I spent many weeks and days contemplating death and dying. I had a couple of years off from any real full-time work, so there was plenty of time to study what I had believed in for so many years. I have endured a lot of physical pain in the process, so I don't even really fear physical pain associated with death any longer. I used to fear heart attacks, drowning and car accidents quite a bit. Now the only thing I dread would be burning to death. What a horrid way to die, and what a monstrous god christianity has invented, one who would allow his childred to burn for all eternity just because they wouldn't be his friend. Glad I'm out of that cult.

[R. S. Martin]

This thread makes me aware of how much thought I've given to dying. The irony of this thread is that people feel relieved from the fear of death when they deconvert. The really BIG irony is two people here deconverting IN THE FACE OF DEATH.

 

Well anyway, I've concluded that in fires sentient beings (humans, animals, etc.) suffocate in smoke before the burning begins. When freezing to death, people feel sleepy and finally lie down in a warm snowy shelter from the wind. If you ever have the chance, cuddle up to the lee side of a huge snowdrift and notice how your body heat is reflected back; snow is great insulation. In illnesses with severe pain people are doped.

 

There are exceptions to the rule but I think in most kinds of death a certain level of denial probably sets in, a false hope that things will turn out well in spite of there being no hope. I think this might be one place where denial and false hope play a positive role. It eases the psychological transition. That's just my hypothesis. Maybe it's just wishful thinking.

[R. S. Martin]

I'm with you here, Taph. My fear isn't really about death, it's about how...In my job, I read a lot of medical reports...

 

Kurari, I couldn't do that kind of job. Recent issues of the Canadian Reader's Digest carried a number of articles about all the things that can go wrong with the heart. I had to stop reading them. I found myself searching for symptoms and feeling anxiety attacks that something dreadful is going wrong with my body.

 

I decided: If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. No need to frighten myself unless and until that time comes. I do what I can to live healthy. And more I cannot do.

[MrBungle]

Bah! I haven't died yet and don't plan on starting either... come to think about it, ill just not die yeah thats it.

[Lightbearer]

When they told me I had cancer in 2004, and it didn't look good, I can't say that I didn't fear death, but I did, moreso because I felt I hadn't been honest with myself, or people in my life. I wanted to coral everybody I had ever known and cared about and throw a huge party. Naturally playing all the tunes that I had grown up with, and hung around certain groups listening too, ( it's funny how a song takes me back to an exact time with a certain person or persons) but I would make the annoucement to them all that I was gay, and sorry I had left so many of them wondering if all the rumors were true. Funny ain't it that I'd even care, but I just felt I had to justify myself and tell each and everyone of them what they meant to me.

 

It was also profound in that, I did decide at that time I was indeed a non-believer, or I guess atheist. I remember them asking my relgion, I said protestant, and they had a pastor/minister come by to chat with me. He was a nice guy, and I didn't mince any words. It had been really the first time I had spoke exactly what was in my heart/head. He knew he wasn't going to convince me otherwise, and really he was pretty nice about it, and after an hour or so he left. He did pop his head in one more time after that to just see how I was doing, but it was clear he didn't want to spend any time. I guess he figured what for.

 

It really seem to be a paradigm shift for me.

 

I don't want to die, but I realize it's part of life and don't fret too much about it. I still intend in throwing that party, however, I hope it will be a marriage between me and a special fella.

 

Man, that was the saddest thing i've read in awhile.

 

I too lost all fear of death when I deconverted. The main reason is because my deconversion had alot to do with my "conversion" to Objectivism, which is a philosophy that stresses loving/valuing your life above all other things.

 

I do.

 

The religions of the world are usually nothing more then mystic death cults. They worship death. They only dwell on the judgements of ones life after death. They let people suffer because they think it's beautiful, like Mother Teresa.

 

Christians are no exception to this. I've seen some good arguments from Christians saying that "knowing evil people in this world suffer in hell is the only thing that lets me sleep at night" there is a certain type of justice in the thought of death and the afterlife. But that's why justice in this world demands that we punish those evil people in life, not wait for God to do it later.

 

There needs to be more emphasis put on Life then on Death. I worry about death only so I know how to avoid it.

 

Fear death only as much as you value life. You shouldn't fear it that much, but don't go looking for it either.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and just to add to the trend, my worst fear would be the following --

 

1) Dying in the middle of the ocean with no one around, maybe even being attacked by sharks.

 

2) Anything to do with bugs

 

3) Car accidents that mangle and beat the tar out of you before you die.