I Think I Felt The Result Of Bad Memories Coming Back At Church With My Family

[bluewizard]

I think I felt the result of bad memories coming back at church with my family, yes I know I'm 18 and I'd like to quit going to church but since I live with my family when I'm not at college I still have to. But even now I'm feeling the affects of this bad memory when I start thinking of Christianity. The preacher started telling a story of a man procastinating his "salvaton" and ends with his death and never doing that(you know how preachers try to manipulate people into doing things) when this happened I thought to myself the fear tactics really seem to to manipulate people and I get memories back of me being so full of tension in my chest, anxiety, and depression when I used to be afraid of Hell because I wouldn't accept Christianity and suddenly this triggers back to those bad feelings. The mesage didn

t get to me at all, atheism is what I'll stay with but these memories seem psychological driven and that story triggered my memory and past bad experiences all the bad things Christianity has done to me. I don't believe in that Holy Spirit-God wants me to be saved stuff at all, I'm educated enough about Christianity that I know it's bullshit. But I hate this feeling when this memory gets triggered, makes me feel depressed and how I used to feel, I woke up thinking o simply a blasphemous song title(which is what I usually listen to) and suddenly I feel this tension in my chest come back. I really wish I could these memories triggering bad events would stop but I really don't know what else to do besides stop thinking of religion and focus on other things(which I do during the week) Have any of you had this type of problem of things triggering bad memories?

[HoustonHorn]

The preacher started telling a story of a man procastinating his "salvaton" and ends with his death and never doing that(you know how preachers try to manipulate people into doing things)

Was it the one with the motorcycle wreck or the 18-wheeler rolling over on his car? There was also one about a train hitting his car on the drive home.

 

I actually overcame that one pretty easily early along in my transition out of Christianity. I figured if God really wanted me saved he'd make sure it happened before he took me out of this world. Since He is supposed to be the one that decides when you die, He decided to take the people in those (fictional) stories before they could be saved.

[bluewizard]

The preacher started telling a story of a man procastinating his "salvaton" and ends with his death and never doing that(you know how preachers try to manipulate people into doing things)

Was it the one with the motorcycle wreck or the 18-wheeler rolling over on his car? There was also one about a train hitting his car on the drive home.

 

I actually overcame that one pretty easily early along in my transition out of Christianity. I figured if God really wanted me saved he'd make sure it happened before he took me out of this world. Since He is supposed to be the one that decides when you die, He decided to take the people in those (fictional) stories before they could be saved.

The one where some guy's in some evangelical class and he says he'll be going west before he gets saved and he ends up in a hospital bed saying too late when the preacher comes to try and save him. He also said one earlier to try to get Christians to evangelize by telling of a man having God put on his heart to tell a waiter about Jesus and he didn't and the waiter committed suicide an hour later. If Jesus existed he'd hate what manipulation goes on his name, he was just a philosopher if he did ever exist.

[Rhia]

What still gets me to this day? Speaking in tongues. It doesn't bring back any desire to return to the church, but it does bring back some pretty odd memories. On occasion it's made me wonder if I've done the right thing by leaving, but then I remember how badly I was manipulated and abused into believing, and how easily I used to be able to fake all that, and it helps.

 

I also go to college and come home to a Christian family, but mine are at least 100% convinced by now that I'm as lost as they get, and not coming back; so they've given up on their apostate.

 

There are 2 salvation plays that use your pastor's manipulation to a disgusting degree: "Heaven's Gates & Hell's Flames", and "Hell House" (I don't know if there are any others). Those are insane with those kind of stories, everything from little boys going to hell because they didn't stand up for salvation in children's church, to satan cackling over women as they get abortions.

 

It's sick, but once ya see past the manipulation, it's all just crap anyway.

[Taphophilia]

bluewizrd,

 

If you have to go to church, isn't there something else you could do besides sitting in service, like some volunteer stuff. Maybe you can get a notebook and do journaling during the service and tune it out. People will just think you are taking notes.

 

Taph

[Ramen666]

I am sorry about that feeling, but when I "have" to go to church. Which I rarely do because the ironic thing about the whole deconversion, my parents stopped going to church also (but they are Christians, go figure) Anyway when my parents get in a "church" mood and I go the exact amount of time 4 times in the last two years . Anyway this is the way I look at it, I study what the Christians say, how the people are manipulated, I look at it from an educated level and I just laugh to myself on it.

 

Look all those stories, the 18 wheeler, motorcycle accident, the waiter one what do they have all in common? The victim of the story that makes you feel guilty dies or something. Now lest look at it at the Christian way of thinking for once, the typical Christian says " It's all a part of Gods plan." Now lets say all three ended up in hell. Is God really that loving then? Of course not.

 

 

Its a Trap

[Llwellyn]

I think that the idea of "hell" -- a divine retribution of evil for evil -- will always burden the human mind. Some of us, with tendencies toward analysis and obsession, will be more bothered by it than others. It is a very long process to remove the thougts completely from your brain. I don't think that the process will ever end, and we will always be bothered it to some degree or another.

 

But I am extremely optimistic that you and I will both learn how to manage it more and to be disturbed by it less. For my part, one of the ways I have developed to deal with it, is to welcome the idea of divine retribution, having faith that it is a retribution of good, although it may be painful. With this mindset, the prospect of being punished by God loses the meaning that Christians ascribe to it.

 

Take a look at Platonic Realism and especially the "Gorgias" dialogue. May God punish and destroy you, venting his full measure of vengeance upon you. Have peace.

[R. S. Martin]

There is absolutely nothing abnormal about having those feelings. It's the way your brain was programed. I have my own litany. I was in for more than forty years. There are things I'll never completely lose. That is just the way the brain and nervous system works. We need to accept that. We can train ourselves to stop attaching the same meaning to the things. Or to stop thinking about them when we become aware of them. It might take a long time and depending on how severe your training was there might be more scars that will never completely heal than for some others. But trust me, this is normal. I think the important thing may be to realize that it's just memories. It's not real. Remind yourself--your body, your emotions, whatever part of you suffers from this symptom--that you will take good care of it and this will never happen again.

[Eponymic]

If Jesus existed he'd hate what manipulation goes on his name, he was just a philosopher if he did ever exist.

 

I very much agree with that. Jesus, if he isn't a fictional character made up for the purpose of greedy & horrible men, was nothing more than Sophocles, Plato or any philosopher who had some good ideas, some bad.