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Stupid Customers


godlessgrrl
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Spouse works the customer service desk at Home Despot. He runs into some cranky customers, but mostly he does fine with everybody and likes his job well enough that he doesn't bring it home.

 

However, every once in awhile he runs into somebody like this guy (who came into the store yesterday):

 

CUSTOMER: Hi, I wonder if you can help me. I need to a UV light. Do you guys sell UV lights?

 

SPOUSE: Sure - what are you using it for?

 

CUSTOMER: I need to find cat pee stains in my carpet. My vet says I need to get a UV light to do that.

 

SPOUSE: Ah! Okay. Sounds like you need a blacklight. Yes, we carry those, they're on aisle---

 

CUSTOMER: No, I don't need a blacklight, I need a UV light.

 

SPOUSE: Okay... well, sir, a blacklight is a kind of UV light. We carry--

 

CUSTOMER: NO, I don't need a blacklight, I need a UV light! My vet said to get a UV light.

 

SPOUSE: I understand that, sir, and I assure you, a blacklight and a UV li--

 

CUSTOMER: NO, we're just going in circles here. You're not helping me. My vet said to get a UV light . I've already been to <X other stores> and they keep telling me the same thing. I don't NEED a blacklight; my vet said to get a UV LIGHT.

 

SPOUSE: Yes, I hear you, sir, and I assure you, they are the same thi--

 

CUSTOMER: NO, you're not understanding me. We're just going in circles here! You're not helping me! I need a UV LIGHT. You're not helping me; I'm going to go somewhere else if you don't help me! <continuing in the same vein as this for *15 more minutes*, until he got pissed and left>

 

SPOUSE: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

 

* * * * *

 

It's asshats like that guy which make it so that I'll never work customer service again.

 

At least spouse got a promotion to DH and is going back to nights for awhile, where he won't have to deal with utter dipshit customers anymore.

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"I need a black light"

 

"Sir, lets go the the lamp and light section"

 

"OK"

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

+Enter the above posts conversation+

 

TC tells customer "Sir remove your belt, unhook your jeans, drop shorts."

 

"Uhhh, Why?"

 

"Do it sir!"

 

Sound of the industry usual 24 inch UV lamp being slid up dumbass customers ass....

 

Seeing Customer duckwalking to checkout with the SKU on the out end of lamp...

 

TC with satisfied look on face knowing that customer got what he wanted and deserved..

 

We can only hope.. ;)

 

kFL

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Working retail you get the sheer stupidity of homo sapiens. You have to assume that every customer is an idiot, even if it sounds like they aren't. Like yesterday, I was helping a couple of ladies (not that gender is relevant) with laptops and they started telling me about problems with Vista that they've heard about (I haven't heard anything, but I haven't really been looking). So, they ask me if I would wait to buy a machine with Vista and I said yes. After that they seemed to not want me around so I let them be, and I'm thought that they would wait. But no, they freaking buy the damn thing despite my advice and what they "knew." Now, that isn't as bad as this UV dumbass, but a computer costs a hell of a lot more than a light (I think it was ~$900 after rebates plus the protection plan with screen protection which was over $300). I've bought clearance computers pretty much willy-nilly but these were machines that I was familiar with, but I get people who have just decided to get one and do no research on what they need or want.

Sorry, this isn't my rant, I'll stop now.

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Hehehe...customer stupidity cracks me up.

 

For instance, today I was working the CS desk at the supermarket I do bookkeeping for. In our area, there is a huge recall on Peter Pan peanut butter because a bunch of it was contaminated with salmonella. So, we've been accepting returned jars of the peanut butter an issuing rebates. This little old lady brings her peanut butter up to the desk, and I give her a refund, but as I am taking the peanut butter back to where the other returned jars are (we're returning them to the distributor), I notice that half of the peanut butter is already gone! I mean, what's the point when you've already eaten half the fucking jar? :ugh:

 

Another gem was a guy walks up to the service desk and, in a completely serious tone, says "Where do you keep the porn?"

"Sir, this is a grocery store."

"Oh. Ok." *walks away*

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It's asshats like that guy which make it so that I'll never work customer service again.

 

I hear you sis! And I feel for your spouse...

 

...although it doesn't get that braindead in our helpdesk usually. The most annoying things are stuff like the user thinking she knows exactly what we'll ask and thus not listening to us at all.. like:

 

Me "System ID of your PC please?"

User: "DKX..." (User IDs in the bank commonly start with that, so DKX-ID is pretty much synonymous with User ID...)

Me "Your PC ID please?"

User "M532..." (That's the ID of the monitor in front of the user...)

Me "Your PC ID please?!" (pressure rising, rising, riiiiiiising...)

 

...and the story continues... :crazy:

 

And, of course, standard M$ idiocy. With an operating system most shit wouldn't even start to happen, but nooooo!, it just had to be M$... :banghead:

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...Sound of the industry usual 24 inch UV lamp being slid up dumbass customers ass....

 

Darn it Niv - I'll make you pay for my new keyboard I swear! :lmao::funny::lmao:

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just sell him what he wants and let him feel like the dumbass he is when it doesn't work.

Well, you know that if you did that they would bring it back and bitch and moan that you didn't give them the right thing. Freaking a.

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This is the reason that I'm avoiding at all costs having to work at an eatery, store, or anything else that makes me a slave. I did it last summer between semesters, and couldn't stand it. I much prefer doing things like being a camp counselor, or a teacher, or even a secretary!

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"I need a black light"

 

"Sir, lets go the the lamp and light section"

 

"OK"

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

+Enter the above posts conversation+

 

TC tells customer "Sir remove your belt, unhook your jeans, drop shorts."

 

"Uhhh, Why?"

 

"Do it sir!"

 

Sound of the industry usual 24 inch UV lamp being slid up dumbass customers ass....

 

Seeing Customer duckwalking to checkout with the SKU on the out end of lamp...

 

TC with satisfied look on face knowing that customer got what he wanted and deserved..

 

We can only hope.. ;)

 

kFL

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

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