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Goodbye Jesus

Bible Handkercheifs?


Guest JP

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I checked my mail tonight and I had a letter that said "God's Holy Spirit told us to send you this letter" or something to that effect. Nevermind the fact that it's addressed to "Resident at..." Anyways, I opened it and it this long letter that said that God had told them that someone at my address needed prayer and blessings, and to send me a "Bible Handkercheif."

 

Apparently there is a verse in Acts that talks about "they were given a handkercheif, and their diseases left and the evil spirits were driven away" or something to that effect. So inside the letter is a flimsy piece of paper that looks like a handkercheif. I'm supposed to pray over it, put it under my bed, and then tomorrow mail it back to the church in Oklahoma that sent it. Ooh, but wait, there's more. There's a letter that talks about a top-secret prophecy that I must not open until I send the handkercheif back tomorrow. If I don't send it back, then I must not read the prophecy, for it is of "a spiritual nature." So I open the letter and it's basically saying that God must be in your life and that he can heal you and that "time is running short" (I love how they always throw that in.)

 

Have you guys ever heard of things like that? Ever received one?

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:fun:

 

I got one today too, JP. Exact same thing. Personally from God - addressed to occupant.

 

Maybe the Holy Sprite is chasing down members of EX-C??????

 

It was good for a chuckle, anyway. I really liked the cheesy little handkerchief.

 

I didn't look at it close enough to see what they were charging per miracle. I wonder how many people will fall for it and send em money? Quite a few, I bet. There's a sucker born every minute.

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Read my God's Chain Letter thread. We got one of these a few days ago, and my Catholic roomate got seriously rediculous and paranoid over it, as well as insulted me because I'm a Buddhist.

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Ahh man. I was just thinking. I messed up and threw it away.

 

I should have blown my nose into the handkerchief and mailed it back to em.

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I wonder how many millions of these things were mailed out?

 

I bet they were the brainchild of chinese businessmen, who knew the goofy americans would fall for it.

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Maybe they mail them out state by state? Since we both live in Northern Nevada.

 

The whole thing cracks me up.

 

"Dear...Someone At This Address."

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I've never received one in the mail, but my old Pentecostal church used to practice that on a regular basis. They would pray over them, annoint them with oil, and send them to sick people. They liked to share success stories like how they hid the thing under someone's pillow and they were eventually healed or found salvation, that sort of thing. Almost anything cloth can be used as a prayer handkerchief, but the pastor ordered official ones from a company; they keep a box of them in the pulpit. It sounds kooky, but they are Bible literalists.

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Never got that but I have gotten this stupid prayer "rug" thing made out of paper with a closed eyed Jesus pict on it. Your supposed to kneel next to it and pray, staring at the picture and if you pray long enough the picture, Jesus opens his eyes. Pure optical illusion but the gullible will see it as a miracle no doubt.

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What?! No, I've never gotten a holy snotrag. I've never even heard of them.

 

If I do, I'll send the sender some toilet paper and tell them that God told me they were going to need it soon.

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If I do, I'll send the sender some toilet paper and tell them that God told me they were going to need it soon.

:funny: That was good Sage. I never got one either, but that's a pretty good idea. Put something completely different in the letter. Maybe a nude picture instead with the text "your son that soon will be teenager will need this." or something. :HaHa:

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Never got that but I have gotten this stupid prayer "rug" thing made out of paper with a closed eyed Jesus pict on it. Your supposed to kneel next to it and pray, staring at the picture and if you pray long enough the picture, Jesus opens his eyes. Pure optical illusion but the gullible will see it as a miracle no doubt.

 

Ooh, I want one! Not to pray too, I just love toys.

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