riverbank Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 When I was a Christian (oh what happy days) I used to read the bible loads along with a few odd bits of Christian literature. And I guess the bible was what I used to help me along in life. I hardly read any self help books, probably because I believed you should rely on the power of Jesus to sustain you through life's difficulties and stuff. Now that I am no longer a Christian, I have probably read more self help literature in the past few months than I did in 15 odd years as a Christian. I find these kind of books make me feel that I can improve myself and make me feel better about myself, as opposed to being a worthless sinner in himself and having to rely on Jesus every day. I never had the first clue as a Christian how to approach a woman I like, now I'm reading literature about how to improve in this area, there's gonna be far more chance of me getting a girlfriend. It's far better reading up to date literature than a book that's 2000 years old, don't ya think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Right you are! So THAT'S why religious people don't like self-help books. They take away the need to rely on Jesus. Truth be told, I tried the Jesus way for twenty years and IT DID NOT WORK! Jesus needed so much help that he became--oh, what's the word--extra baggage, not needed--that's not the word but you get the picture. Superfluous. I turned my own life around, I got myself out of an impossible mess--ON MY OWN POWER. Those self-help books sure hit the spot! No, I did not figure out how to snare a man. I figured out that I can get along without a man just fine. Jesus was my man for a long time and like I said he needed so much help that I'm better off without him. Praise be to self-help books! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 All the same, riverbank, I do wish you the joy of a woman's love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Generally, good self-help books help you rely on yourself, not on this god or that or on any pie in the sky promises that never come through. Hence, I can't think of any sort of self-help book that isn't automatically better than the Babble (or the Koran), unless it also advocates accepting an illogical belief system. Good self-help gives a person good ideas to go on, and guidance based on those good ideas. The Babble tells us that we're shit without Jebus and if we only have faith, he'll answer all our prayers and make everything better. Xian self-help books all try to do the same thing, but devote many of their pages to cherry-picking assorted Babble verses that seem to support their advice (when properly twisted out of context, that is). Clearly, the Babble sucks as self-help - more like a prescription for self-abuse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted March 18, 2007 Author Share Posted March 18, 2007 There were one or two Christian books that I read that taught about having a good self image, and I came across a few Christian leaders who were genuinely confident people. But the book I remember was called 'Winners in Christ' - the Christian mentality was that you should have a good self image because you are loved by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords .. or somethin like that. But to me, that never took away the fact that Christianity portrays YOU as a sinner who deserves hell .. I mean how can anyone have good self esteem with that in mind? Christians, what do you say to this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted March 18, 2007 Author Share Posted March 18, 2007 All the same, riverbank, I do wish you the joy of a woman's love. thankyou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jella Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Good for you you riverbank I agree the good self help books help realize the power within. It's difficult enough to compete in a me me society without feeling a bit overwhelmed. The rub I feel however, is realizing how you are the most important person to yourself, without condensending others. A good balance of confidence and empathy can go along way in achieving some peace of mind. best wishes river, I'm sure you'll find that special lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 If it makes you feel better about yourself and gives you the confidence you need, without an invisible sky daddy, the more power to you. Good luck with the ladies and enjoy life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 There were one or two Christian books that I read that taught about having a good self image, and I came across a few Christian leaders who were genuinely confident people. But the book I remember was called 'Winners in Christ' - the Christian mentality was that you should have a good self image because you are loved by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords .. or somethin like that. Generally, most Xians want others to feel good about themselves, and genuinely try to help. to that end, they are predisposed to reading select Babble verses in that light, and will twist them to sound more positive. Most Xians aren't assholes who want to break your spirit just to convert you. Of course, that's not all of them, nor does it absolve their "holy" book of the plain text within it, which clearly states that we suck without Jebus, that we depend on God for every single thing in life, and we'd better keep him happy if we want to enjoy life in this world or especially in the next. That's like keeping a cabinet full of booze in an alcoholic's home - it's a set-up for disaster. It's so easy to see yourself as shit and find all the justification for it in the Babble you could ever hope for. But to me, that never took away the fact that Christianity portrays YOU as a sinner who deserves hell .. I mean how can anyone have good self esteem with that in mind? Yup; when a person reads the plain text of the Babble, without turning to Xian apologetic sources which will cherry-pick and twist the obvious meanings or otherwise making excuses for Scripchah, the only meaning is one of terror. God kills people, torments them just to look better in Satan's eyes, commands his most fanatical followers to commit acts of theft, murder, and rape for him, and then sends Jebus down to demand that we either believe in him exclusively or else we'll be tortured for all eternity. No wonder that as soon as a Xian loses faith in this garbage, he or she has a variety of mental breakdowns. When a person's self-esteem is based on the favor of an insane god, only insanity can result from it. All the more reason this trash needs to be stamped out and destroyed utterly, to quote Dr. van Helsing. Riverbank, I hope you find that special lady, also. And I hope she gives you all the happiness you deserve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolyn the Red Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 I never had the first clue as a Christian how to approach a woman I like, now I'm reading literature about how to improve in this area, there's gonna be far more chance of me getting a girlfriend. It's far better reading up to date literature than a book that's 2000 years old, don't ya think? Oh, I'm sure it's a better idea. Just be careful, there's a lot of relationship literature out there that is, well, bad. There are books which reinforce some very unpleasant gender stereotypes, or relationship stereotypes, or just advocate some elaborate and artificial strategies as the only way to do things. You have to make sure not to give too much credence to what is said. That said, good luck in finding someone, and the right someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 From the wisdom of my years and my ancient fandom of self help books, "surely this one will do the trick!" I have found self help books to be as much bullshit as the bible. Save your money. It's your life. Stop trying to find an expert (savior) to run it for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 It's your life. Stop trying to find an expert (savior) to run it for you. Truer words were never spoken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 I don't know how others approach self-help books. My approach has been to see what parts I identify with, then do self-analysis. But I stick pretty strictly with stuff that actually describes something I feel or experience. If I can't identify with a book then it's not the right book for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 From the wisdom of my years and my ancient fandom of self help books, "surely this one will do the trick!" I have found self help books to be as much bullshit as the bible. Save your money. It's your life. Stop trying to find an expert (savior) to run it for you. i'm sure a lot of them are bullshit, but i reckon there are some pearls of wisdom somewhere in these kind of books. If I was capable of working everything out for myself without any help, I wouldn't read any books. There's only so much that friends and family can do and only so much I can know by myself, just my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 Oh, I'm sure it's a better idea. Just be careful, there's a lot of relationship literature out there that is, well, bad. There are books which reinforce some very unpleasant gender stereotypes, or relationship stereotypes, or just advocate some elaborate and artificial strategies as the only way to do things. You have to make sure not to give too much credence to what is said. That said, good luck in finding someone, and the right someone. Yeah, I think you're right there, there's also a lot of stuff on the internet but some of it is from guys who sleep with someone virtually as soon as they meet them and also there's some stuff about how to seduce someone's girl. No thankyou. There is someone who I like but the situation's a tiny bit complicated. If any of you would like to give your opinion on what I should do, PM me and I'll explain the situation, if not, that's fine .. it's all very well saying you should just go and talk to someone but I'm not sure if it's right to go up to her desk and talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Can anyone list some good self help books, other than "The Secret(I refuse to help that Secret woman become richer)?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverbank Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 well there might be some progress on the girl front - had lunch with the girl I've had eyes on and I didn't even need to ask .. she came and sat next to me. She's a lot younger than me but very nice and funny anyways we'll see what happens, I'm sure I'll be friends with her whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I am so happy for you, riverbank. The spontaneous thing--ever the best way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest brookacton Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 glad to hear things are going well with the girl.... i highly recommend "the road less traveled" by m. scott peck. the author calls himself a Christian, but i never felt like his occasional mentions of Christian topics to be too annoying. he is also a rather unconventional christian considering his book has been highly criticized by fundies for many of its "free-thinking", "liberal" ideas (a lot of them good in my opinion) the first half of the book is the best part (imo of course), and he doesn't really go into Christian topics (like his thoughts on "grace") until the 2nd half. the first half is good psychology/self-help/in the spirit of rollo may and erich fromm, with digested freudian/jungian ideas as well brook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts