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Goodbye Jesus

BF for 17 years, discussion in MSN Messenger...


Guest Matt Rose

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Guest Matt Rose

I had this discussion with a friend of mine. My bestfriend of 17 years as a matter of fact. He is still religious and I am agnostic. Really need your help on this one guys....

 

blank captions are prolly smiley faces or winks :);) They are animated in MSN Messenger.

 

without further ado, your scrutiny:

 

 

COPIED/PASTED:

 

It's Coming! says:

hey

Jason says:

yeah

It's Coming! says:

you got 5 minutes or so?

Jason says:

yeah

It's Coming! says:

wait, I forgot exactly what I was gonna talk to you about......hold on

It's Coming! says:

oh

It's Coming! says:

I talked to my sister the other day

It's Coming! says:

I have been thinking about telling my parents that I am agnostic, wondering if it would help or hurt or do nothing.....

It's Coming! says:

that's one of the bigger reasons I wanted to tell you and then ultimately send that chat we had the other day

It's Coming! says:

by I decided to tell my sister first

It's Coming! says:

and she shrugged and said, "yeah, so.....we know that."

It's Coming! says:

I was wondering.....

It's Coming! says:

did you ever have a feeling I was like this?

It's Coming! says:

needless to say that conversation with my sister has had me studying

It's Coming! says:

I DL'd Mere Christianity, I think that was the book you wanted me to read

It's Coming! says:

is C.S. Lewis a fantasy writer? I've heard the name

It's Coming! says:

but

It's Coming! says:

did you ever have a feeling that I was not impressed by the church when we went to church?

Jason says:

i don't think I ever really thought about it then

It's Coming! says:

kewl

Jason says:

at that point in time i feel that it seemed a bit dogmatic and i was going with the flow

It's Coming! says:

exactly

It's Coming! says:

I think I was the same way

It's Coming! says:

even following the rituals

Jason says:

but i have learned all I know on my own cause I question just about everything as was given my own conclusions

It's Coming! says:

best way to do things, good to hear

Jason says:

i know you don't believe they way I do and most people don't

Jason says:

everybody is different and I believe God deals with us each differently

It's Coming! says:

kewl

It's Coming! says:

didn't bring it up for that reason btw

Jason says:

so I have made my choices and now is the daily routine of living with them and having faith

Jason says:

I know

It's Coming! says:

I've been delving into the thought since talking with my sister

Jason says:

C.S. Lewis wrote The Chronicles of Narnia

It's Coming! says:

aaaaaaaaaah

It's Coming! says:

knew I'd heard that name before

Jason says:

it was a work of fiction just as The Lord of the Rings was

Jason says:

him and Tolkien were great friends both in WW I and later in life

It's Coming! says:

I don't want to suppress myself by only reading atheistic websites, so counter-balancing it with Mere Christianity

It's Coming! says:

if you know anything else, besides Mere Christianity and More Than A Carpenter, let me know

Jason says:

but both works are of christian principles

It's Coming! says:

yeah, so is the Matrix

It's Coming! says:

 

It's Coming! says:

hehehehe

It's Coming! says:

72 percent btw

Jason says:

C.S. Lewis set out to disprove christianity and wound becoming one of the greatest christian philosophers of his time

It's Coming! says:

is his testimony in Mere Christianity?

Jason says:

he was a great thinker and ideologist

Jason says:

no

Jason says:

the book is amazing though i think and very well written

Jason says:

it was actually a radio broadcast during WWII and was later revised and put into book and published

It's Coming! says:

I got it on my comp here, PDF. I'll read it in the next 2 weeks or so

It's Coming! says:

yeah, I read the Prolog already

Jason says:

good

Jason says:

perhaps also read "The Defence of Calvinism" by C.H. Spurgeon

It's Coming! says:

Calvinism? That's to fundy for me

It's Coming! says:

that preaches an Elect

Jason says:

hehehe

It's Coming! says:

might be to much for me

It's Coming! says:

kinda surprised you read that

It's Coming! says:

and wondering why.....

Jason says:

on;y if you let it

Jason says:

why what?

It's Coming! says:

Calvinism, correct me if I am wrong, preaches that we are elected to go to heaven by God before we are even born

It's Coming! says:

they commonly site a verse I don't have handy

It's Coming! says:

that clearly spells out in 'god's word' that he elects us

It's Coming! says:

you are a born-againer, you guys kinda conflict on somethings

Jason says:

i believe it this way

It's Coming! says:

ears....

Jason says:

God chose me before I ever chose Him

It's Coming! says:

I've heard someone say that before

It's Coming! says:

was 2nd baptist Calvinstic?

Jason says:

Me, being a sinner and all could never do anything to bring myself closer to God

Jason says:

If I want to get closer He must draw me closer

Jason says:

He must open my eyes

It's Coming! says:

that's Calvinism then

Jason says:

yet I still have the choice to refuse every step of the way

Jason says:

as He has given us freewiil

Jason says:

but don't let that word Calvinism distract you because if that word didn't exist I would still believe this way

Jason says:

and that way is what I call the truth

It's Coming! says:

oh, I gotcha

It's Coming! says:

I wouldn't use it if I were you though

It's Coming! says:

 

Jason says:

I am not afraid of its implications

Jason says:

if someone questions the let him ask or discover it for himself as I have

It's Coming! says:

the word Calvinism is as dirty to me, as Agnostic is to my parents

Jason says:

ahh well

Jason says:

it's either black or white

Jason says:

no in betweens on this for me

It's Coming! says:

i don't like gereralities either

It's Coming! says:

me neither

It's Coming! says:

I got what you were saying

Jason says:

i don't think i am being general in anything

Jason says:

two distinct groups

Jason says:

in the end that is all there is

It's Coming! says:

yeah, generalities, as in between camps

It's Coming! says:

apologetics, stuff like that.....

Jason says:

understood

It's Coming! says:

one of the bigger reasons, and tests, I am throwing myself is debating with christians

It's Coming! says:

I have 2 guys, one 26 and one 32 that I talk to in emails.

It's Coming! says:

I am testing things in the fire

Jason says:

i don't believe there is a need for debates

It's Coming! says:

one of them has told me he is not suppose to listen to me, only preach to me

It's Coming! says:

so I don't talk to him much now, mostly cause he won't let me

It's Coming! says:

but the older one is kewl

It's Coming! says:

claims to be an open-minded chrstian

It's Coming! says:

and he seems to be that way

It's Coming! says:

although I told him doubting God is a sin

It's Coming! says:

and he told me he didn't plan on doing that

It's Coming! says:

so not sure exactly where it will end

It's Coming! says:

they leave me silenced with the Bible, something I really have a hard time believing in right now

Jason says:

i will tell you the truth as I understand it and then if you won't believe then that's it

It's Coming! says:

can I resiprocate?

It's Coming! says:

reciprocate?

Jason says:

i won't judge you cause you choose not to believe

Jason says:

i think you misunderstand me

It's Coming! says:

?

Jason says:

i am not speaking of you as in you

Jason says:

but you as in anyone who is interested

It's Coming! says:

well, that's me too

It's Coming! says:

 

It's Coming! says:

so go ahead

Jason says:

you already know all i have to say

Jason says:

i have talked to you about it before

Jason says:

now perhaps there are things i cannot explain, that's fine

It's Coming! says:

I figured you might put it into context better

It's Coming! says:

that's not ok with me

It's Coming! says:

I have to be able to explain things

It's Coming! says:

it's a compulsive need

Jason says:

i am only there to plant the seed

Jason says:

i don't believe it is possible with God

Jason says:

how could you possibly explain all that he is and does

Jason says:

makes no sense

It's Coming! says:

well, if he's God, it would be impossible hehehe

It's Coming! says:

I can explain most of it

Jason says:

perhaps

It's Coming! says:

I can't explain the Big Bang though, so don't use that card

It's Coming! says:

 

It's Coming! says:

I really just wanted to see if you sensed I wasn't right with the church back in the day is all

Jason says:

you make it sound like i want to debate you

It's Coming! says:

these kinda conversations I've noticed tend to step on the toes of the faithful

It's Coming! says:

you are the last person i want to debate hehehe

Jason says:

don't worry about stepping on my toes

It's Coming! says:

well, I worry

It's Coming! says:

here's the first and foremost fact of the matter:

Jason says:

i have found that if you find someone who is willing to lay it all out for you and not try to convert you then you won't step on his toes

It's Coming! says:

I could give two shits about "deprogramming" you per se

It's Coming! says:

you seem a lot happier than me right now and I don't have any business meddling

Jason says:

no worries

Jason says:

you are not

It's Coming! says:

I think I used meddling out of context

It's Coming! says:

have any business trying to reshape you

It's Coming! says:

that makes more sense to me

It's Coming! says:

but that's how I feel about it

Jason says:

don't worry about that either

It's Coming! says:

I just wanted to throw that up to you earlier

It's Coming! says:

well then, it sounds like you want to hear me then

It's Coming! says:

am I guessing right?

It's Coming! says:

honestly, I'd love to tell the whole world!

It's Coming! says:

22 minutes left, btw

It's Coming! says:

you?

Jason says:

6 minutes

It's Coming! says:

nice

Jason says:

but i have to go in like 5

It's Coming! says:

....

It's Coming! says:

AFO?

Jason says:

got to finish up a program and a few other things before the guys get in a t bragg in the morning

It's Coming! says:

it's kewl

Jason says:

just know this

Jason says:

i listen to things and question things all the time

Jason says:

i don't thikn i would be where i am at if i didn't

It's Coming! says:

have you doubted God?

Jason says:

many times

Jason says:

more times than i can count

Jason says:

but that is natural

It's Coming! says:

I feel the need to debate

It's Coming! says:

but debating is fun to me, and not neccesarily to everyone....

Jason says:

well i can't debate you because i don't have all the answers

It's Coming! says:

I don't either

It's Coming! says:

but we respect each other

Jason says:

i don't even have half of them

Jason says:

yes

It's Coming! says:

you can chase what you don't know

It's Coming! says:

 

Jason says:

i respect everyones right to believe what they choose even if it isn't mine

It's Coming! says:

what if you felt there was manipultion involved?

It's Coming! says:

would you have convictions against said institution?

Jason says:

then i would question it

It's Coming! says:

so if you ran into Marshall Applewhite and his gang

Jason says:

i don't know who that is

It's Coming! says:

would you respect their beliefs or keep them from drinking cyanide?

It's Coming! says:

it's my pciture right now

It's Coming! says:

Heaven's Gate Cult

It's Coming! says:

he was the leader

It's Coming! says:

they all died in Nike Gangster's, when Chris had some

It's Coming! says:

Southern, CA

It's Coming! says:

circa 93 or something

It's Coming! says:

they drank kool-aid to meet Hale Bops comet

It's Coming! says:

only 15 years after Jim Jones' clan drank the kool-aid too!

Jason says:

i guess they got their ride then

It's Coming! says:

lol

It's Coming! says:

would you have helped them not drink that kool-aid though?

Jason says:

of course

It's Coming! says:

well, I feel that same need

Jason says:

i don't wish anyone to harm themselves if i can stop it

It's Coming! says:

what if.....

It's Coming! says:

you knew someone was keeping themselves from some "mind fun" and expanding, would you help them too?

It's Coming! says:

I'm goin somewhere with this, so don't feel manipulated in the end

Jason says:

i won't

It's Coming! says:

although manipulation is what we are talking about hehehehe

Jason says:

if someone won't believe what i tell them then that is their right

It's Coming! says:

I not talking about what you tell people

It's Coming! says:

I'm talking about what you have been told

Jason says:

me specifically?

Jason says:

or just someone

It's Coming! says:

well, religious types

Jason says:

i don't follow

It's Coming! says:

let me explain like this....

It's Coming! says:

Do you think you could live a life without the words, SIN, FAITH, REPENTENSE, or SOUL?

It's Coming! says:

if those words didn't exist?

Jason says:

of course

It's Coming! says:

could you do it knowing that they exist?

Jason says:

yes

It's Coming! says:

could you explain your life to someone now without those words?

Jason says:

i believe i could

It's Coming! says:

I need to hear that

Jason says:

but i would have to think about it because i know those words

It's Coming! says:

of course

It's Coming! says:

what would you replace Sin with?

It's Coming! says:

what would you replace Soul with?

Jason says:

separation from God because of my birth and deeds

It's Coming! says:

you can only repent if you believe in sin, so we don't have to replace that

It's Coming! says:

Soul?

Jason says:

the inner being of me that exists eternally

It's Coming! says:

Faith?

Jason says:

belief in something even though it is unseen

It's Coming! says:

all of those kinda have a mythical ring to them don't they?

It's Coming! says:

would you say, you have to escape logic, even a little, to believe those things?

Jason says:

no

Jason says:

of course

Jason says:

i don't believe that all of life is logical

It's Coming! says:

good point

It's Coming! says:

that's where my reductionism comes in

Jason says:

as a matter of fact i am probably one of the most illogical thinkers i know of

It's Coming! says:

we've all made mistakes if that's what you mean

It's Coming! says:

but I prized you for your logic and brain back in the day

It's Coming! says:

I don't believe your last statement

Jason says:

no not at all

Jason says:

i don't come to my solutions mentally by using everyday logic

It's Coming! says:

you use the Bible for decernment?

Jason says:

it may seem as logic outwardly

Jason says:

yes i do

It's Coming! says:

I thought you might think I deemed using the Bible as illogical, I don't however

It's Coming! says:

it's an eye of the beholder kinda thing

It's Coming! says:

it's very logical that you would use the Bible for decernment

Jason says:

no

Jason says:

not at all

It's Coming! says:

whereas, it's would seem logical for me to do the same

It's Coming! says:

expand...

It's Coming! says:

you have to go don't you?

Jason says:

perhaps

Jason says:

a few more minuts

It's Coming! says:

kewl

Jason says:

but what about those people that don't have or will never see a bible

It's Coming! says:

God is a "just God"

It's Coming! says:

that's suppose to be your argument

It's Coming! says:

it's a blanket answer

It's Coming! says:

coming from the onmiscient

It's Coming! says:

but you are suppose to believe it

Jason says:

yes

Jason says:

i believe it cause i feel it

It's Coming! says:

you said earlier you don't know the half of anything basically

It's Coming! says:

do you think you know everything about your body, and it's feelings?

Jason says:

when it comes to God i don't

Jason says:

i know what has been revealed to me

It's Coming! says:

ok, I understand

It's Coming! says:

it's heresay, but I get it

It's Coming! says:

would you agree that it is heresay?

It's Coming! says:

it still takes a measure of Faith, on my behalf, to believe you have had personal fellowship with the Lord.

Jason says:

yes

Jason says:

but that faith will not come from me proving anything to you

It's Coming! says:

faith, you either have it or you don't

Jason says:

cause i don't have proof except my words

It's Coming! says:

yeah, that's a resounding theme in religion

It's Coming! says:

to me anyways

It's Coming! says:

I got Mere Christianity and I am going to read it, I also have something I would like for you to read

It's Coming! says:

if you don't think it's a Sin to read it, here it is:

Jason says:

you have faith in that chair you are sitting in that chair because you were physically shown how it works then tried it for yourself, now it is second nature to sit down in a chair

Jason says:

Dragon's of Eden

It's Coming! says:

http://www.ebonmusings.org/atheism/thoughts.html

It's Coming! says:

no, this is a website, dedicated to atheism granted

It's Coming! says:

but I'm hoping you are at least open

It's Coming! says:

this is about dogmatic mind control

It's Coming! says:

telling you to believe something and you wanting to believe it

Jason says:

sure, i am not afraid of it nor do i consider it a 'Sin'

It's Coming! says:

very nice

Jason says:

what is

It's Coming! says:

not considering it a sin to doubt God

Jason says:

what is about dogmatic mind control

It's Coming! says:

the link I just threw you

It's Coming! says:

did you get the link?

Jason says:

oh, yeah

It's Coming! says:

 

Jason says:

good thing i hate dogmatic mind control as the next person

It's Coming! says:

I didn't know I was up in it till I read this.....

It's Coming! says:

I'd like to discuss it and Mere Christianity with you later too if that's kewl witcha....

It's Coming! says:

aight man, gotta smoke one, I'll talk atcha later

It's Coming! says:

later bro, ty

Jason says:

later

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Guest Matt Rose
maybe it's just me...but i don't understand why you have to "share"your agnosticism with anyone.  I mean it's certainly your right.  But we live in a culture where people "share" their religion.  (christianity)

 

There are many cultures where spirituality or lack thereof is private and you don't run around sharing.  This need to tell family and friends of your deconversion is just another way that christianity influences your life. 

 

I mean if someone asks me my beliefs, depending on their motives and their interest I might tell them some things about how I view the world.  I always enjoy a philosophical discussion, but as for the need to run up and tell all my family and friends of my current spiritual situation I don't feel the need.

 

My brother pretty much knows my beliefs but the rest of my family just knows I don't go to church.  To me spirituality is personal and private...like sexuality.  Who you share or don't share such things with is totally up to you and you should never feel "compelled" to just because it's what everyone is doing.

 

There is no 12-step program to deconversion and sharing your new beliefs or lack thereof isn't one of the steps.  So if you do choose to share do it on your own terms and for your own reasons.

 

 

I was kinda asking people to read it actually. From your response I gather that you didn't.

 

Now, I do feel compelled and you may have read that. However, it's not to flaunt anything and I think that is the only reason so see me as doing this.

 

I came from a fundy Southern Baptist Church in Houston, Tx. My father was a deacon and I knew the guy I am speaking to UP THERE a great deal of that time. During those times I was always questioning and getting no answers and when my sister brought it up that it was apparent, I had to question my best friend during those times too. If not for any other reason, to have a more informed guess at what my parents viewed me as doing. If you read the correspondense I posted up top, you will see that telling my parents has been a debate of mine. Also, if you preruse the forums here, especially in Ex-Christian Life, you will see that many of us are wondering how to inform our relatives, namely our parents.

 

I'm happy for you that you feel just as sound as I do, but I'm against not proclaiming it. I have to tell people this, it is life-affirming to me. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I knew a big part of everything that was on this site a long time ago. This site has opened my eyes in letting me know that my doubt has paid off. That I knew this before, and the numbers of you support it now. This website has been nothing but validation for me from the first time I visited it.

 

It's closer to the truth than religion, I'm spreading my truth. I am more than a little concerned that someone here is, I feel, is not as responsible with it.

 

matt

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What's this guy's obsession with Mere Christianity?

 

Even as a Christian, I read it and thought it was full of holes.

 

Lewis bases lots of his reasoning with a faulty assumption right at the start. Some of his generalizations about human nature can be refuted by any decent anthropologist.

 

Tell him you'll read it if he'll read "The Incredible Shrinking Son of Man" by Price.

 

He'll be afraid to, though. Might shake up his world too much.

 

On the "archives" page of this site, there is some exerpts from "Losing Faith in Faith" by Dan Barker. Click on that and you'll find "mere assumptions" - a brief exerpt which refutes Mere Christianity.

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