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Goodbye Jesus

God My Sisters Are Lame


scitsofreaky

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I need to share this with someone, and I don't know who, so I figure why not do it to a somewhat anonymous group of people so that they may also share in the lameness of my family.

My sisters have started a myspace bible study. Sweet mother of gad, that in itself is lame. But the name is a strange, and frankly hilarious, morphing of their names: Saramethany. I'm not surprised that they didn't notice METH in the name, but come on. But the lameness continues. I don't know if they intend to keep this a thing between the three of them, and if so they need to stop talking like they are talking to the general public. If not, then it is almost sad (not really) because they are the only members so far. They haven't started yet, but any of their friends (myspace, and real world) should know about it by now. Hell, even I know about it, and they didn't even talk to me about it.

I'd link to them, but they are family, so.... here ya go. Oh, and apparently they are starting in Genesis and going 3 chapters at a time. I'm thinking they are going to attempt to just plug through the entire Bible cover to cover. Given how boring that damn book is, I don't see how they will make it.

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Guest tomorrowshorizon
I need to share this with someone, and I don't know who, so I figure why not do it to a somewhat anonymous group of people so that they may also share in the lameness of my family.

My sisters have started a myspace bible study. Sweet mother of gad, that in itself is lame. But the name is a strange, and frankly hilarious, morphing of their names: Saramethany. I'm not surprised that they didn't notice METH in the name, but come on. But the lameness continues. I don't know if they intend to keep this a thing between the three of them, and if so they need to stop talking like they are talking to the general public. If not, then it is almost sad (not really) because they are the only members so far. They haven't started yet, but any of their friends (myspace, and real world) should know about it by now. Hell, even I know about it, and they didn't even talk to me about it.

I'd link to them, but they are family, so.... here ya go. Oh, and apparently they are starting in Genesis and going 3 chapters at a time. I'm thinking they are going to attempt to just plug through the entire Bible cover to cover. Given how boring that damn book is, I don't see how they will make it.

 

Actually, I hope they do finish reading it, because the Bible has some really outrageous things in it. The Bible is a great deconversion tool, because they're either going to have to either bend over backwards to squirm around the contradictions and cruelty, or stop believing in the Bible.

 

Either way, though, I know it's annoying. My little brother does similar things. But remember, they are younger...if they like Myspace and the Bible so much, that's only normal. They'll grow out of it. (Hopefully)

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Saramethany. Their names must be Sarah, Amy, and Bethany. Or maybe Sarina, Amanda, and Bethany.

 

I can't think of any other name than Bethany that ends with those letters.

 

Take courage. I would never have found their blog if you had not given the link to it. That means the "whole world" will not know about it because surely I'm not so unique as to be the only person with internet access who does not check out all the MySpaces.

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Isn't it funny all the things we (as Christians) did in the name of Christ? I know others have great stories but here are but a few of my own idiosyncratic Christian workings:

 

1. When was I 17 years old, I decided to take my entire secular music collection (punk rock, alternative rock, classic rock, spoken word, political diatribes, etc.) to the train tressel behind my parents' home, stack it on a scrap of plywood, douse it in gasoline and set it afire. I think I did this as my last ditch attempt to "rid myself of evil influences" shortly before my deconversion. I torched several thousands of dollars worth of media that day. Such a shame. I've spent the last eight years trying to reacquire all of those things that I lost but some were just too rare.

 

2. About the same timeframe (right as I was deconverting), I went on a mission's trip to Saltillo, Mexico to help build a seminary for a Baptist church down there in the ghetto. I had no reason to go other than for selfish motivations. My primary accomplishments were getting a pair of authentic cowboy boots, buying my first guitar and eating an entire plate of taquitos by myself (soon to be followed by a mad case of the shits). Also, we ended up finishing the seminary. I was very proud of myself for the manual labor aspect of the trip as we were forced to build it with very primitive means.

 

3. When I was younger, I devoted much of my own time and funds to various church-related activities such as Vacation Bible School, the puppet team, youth groups and church clean-ups (isn't it amazing how churches are not only tax exempt but they also have a seemingless endless supply of skilled labor at their disposal, more than willing to use their talents for the cause of Christ? What a scam!).

 

With exception to the first example, perhaps all of the others were my little way of trying to experience everything I could while trying to disregard the overwhelming religious overtones. I don't know how many times I caught myself thinking, "Man, this activity would be pretty damn cool if it wasn't with these people, under these pretenses and if I wasn't wearing this polo shirt!"

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Actually, I hope they do finish reading it, because the Bible has some really outrageous things in it. The Bible is a great deconversion tool, because they're either going to have to either bend over backwards to squirm around the contradictions and cruelty, or stop believing in the Bible.
Normally that would probably be true, but somehow (the rest of) my family doesn't seem to be able to see the problems and the horrors that are contained in there. My dad reads it a couple times a year (although usually not strait through, he reads the NT like four times a year, and the OT two or three times).

 

Either way, though, I know it's annoying. My little brother does similar things. But remember, they are younger...if they like Myspace and the Bible so much, that's only normal. They'll grow out of it. (Hopefully)

Only one of them is younger than me, the other two are a couple years older (I always forget how much older each is, I'm terrible with b-days). My younger sister is the only one in my family that I've told of my deconversion. We've talked about my lack of belief and her belief and frankly I have no idea why she actually believes.

Saramethany. Their names must be Sarah, Amy, and Bethany.
Correct. I'm not sure why they didn't do Sarabethamy, which still flows but doesn't sound as retarded.
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Guest tomorrowshorizon

Yikes. I assumed the Myspace-ery indicated youth...the problem is worse than I thought! :twitch:

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Yikes. I assumed the Myspace-ery indicated youth...the problem is worse than I thought! :twitch:

The profile pictures of my two older sisters are of their kids. I know, they procreated! It's so wrong. Don't get me wrong, I adore my nieces and nephews (I currently have two of each, with another niece on the way). What's worse is that they are both planning on homeschooling! :eek: No surprise with my oldest sister, she was studying child development in college. By my older sister, yikes, she isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, she isn't even the sharpest butter knife in the drawer. And her husband is "smart," but he's given me the "the appendix has a use" bullshit.

Ah well, part of me can't wait until they start so I can see, then ridicule what they say :pureevil:

Take courage. I would never have found their blog if you had not given the link to it. That means the "whole world" will not know about it because surely I'm not so unique as to be the only person with internet access who does not check out all the MySpaces.
I really don't care if the whole world knows about it, even if they also know that they are my sisters. I was just using that as an example of how lame they are.
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