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Jesus Is Alive! Just Deal With It!


quicksand
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So I was a Target today (yes, dear Christians we walk amoung you - even at public places...) stocking up on necessities like kleenex, shampoo, pomade, bath rugs, bleach, cleaning supplies, and treats that 5-year olds would enjoy as my girlfriend volunteered us to babysit two boys tonight (I am kinda freaking about that bit) and as I was putting my bounty into the car I saw this sticker: Jesus is Alive! Just Deal With It! pasted on the Isuzu Rodeo just next to my car in the lot. I had to check the Isuzu out, since it was my last car before I traded it in for my sleek new Volkswagon. Anyway....

 

I thought. Really? Jesus is alive? I thought he died and then went to Heaven. I thought he died on the cross. When saved Christians die, and are dead they go to Heaven. Only when your friggin' dead, and not when your are alive.

 

So if Jesus is alive, he ain't in Heaven. But if he's dead, he's in Heaven. But not alive. Not living. Yet, he came back alive, so he was never really dead as he was having a great old time with Satan during those three days. And after all of that, floating in the sky and grossing out his drones with his wounds as he escaped gravity and the vacuum of space en route to Heaven while alive. So if Jesus was really alive after all that, he didn't go to Heaven (cause you'd have to be dead).

 

Only living things live and dead things rot.

 

And if your dead, your not doing anything. Not hanging with Pops-almighty. Not playing backgammon with Cherubs - cause your dead.

 

Well, since that's the case. There's no Heaven. Fuck, when you think about it, a simple Christian sticker debunks itself.

 

Oh well...

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OK. Jesus is alive. So what? So am I. If you throw a rock in Latin America you are about as likely to hit a Jesus as you are to hit a Pierre. In North America we say Joshua and Peter. What's there to "deal with" in that?

 

And sure, some people think there was a guy named Jesus who died long ago as in a millenia or two, and that he rose up like all the sun gods did back then and remains alive somewhere in the sky to this day very like the sun, so it seems to me. Not so bad. I can live with that. The Thunder God keeps him company, I am sure, as do the Grandfathers and Totems (from Native American spirituality). Dianna might be hanging out with them.

 

The so-called threatening part about this Jesus guy is that he will supposedly come back to earth some day and horrendous things will happen. They base this on a misinterpretation of their holy book. Jesus did not preach so much about the end of the physical world as he preached about the end of an astronomogical era. At least, that is what I think. The word translated "world" in the KJV is translated as age or aeon in others.

 

The problem John had in Revelation was not the physical world so much as the Roman Empire. I cannot begin to explain the symbology in Revelation like my prof did. He said he teaches a whole course on it. it's totally benign to us today. In recent centuries people just decided to take it literally. If you can persuade your congregation that they will go to hell if they don't do as you tell them, well, all of us know that power of fear of hell. This kind of teaching started about the time when the American Protestant churches were losing power in a major way about a hundred and twenty-five years ago.

 

I can live with that no problem. Nothing to "deal with." If we live true to our own selves as opposed being true to some ego, then we automatically do all the good stuff Jesus said we should. And jesus didn't claim to be David's son; others made that claim for him. Nor did he claim to be the messiah; others made that claim for him. That is what the scholar Walter Wink says in his series on The Powers.

 

Wink says the Powers Jesus opposed were what we would today call The System. I prefer to think the universe has always existed and will always exist. That idea is many centuries older than me. So what if the universe originated in a Big Bang a couple billion years ago? For my finite existence, that is the same as having existed from eternity.

 

To the strutting xians my question would be: What is there to deal with if Jesus is alive?

 

Hey, I just saw the things you others posted. Great ideas!

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But, no one who is dead can be in heaven. YHWH is the god of the living...not the god of the dead. If you're dead then he's not your god and he'll have nothing to do with you. And when everything comes full circle YHWH will make his kingdom on earth, with the living, and once again there will be no dead or heaven. What's the deal with that? So is jesus the god of the dead then? The naive, yes, but the dead too?

 

mwc

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So is jesus the god of the dead then?

That must be a pretty easy job. Like those Maytag commercials where the guys sit around and wait and wait and wait for a service call that never comes. I can see Jesus flipping a card one by one by one into a hat for eternity. Pretty boring. But I am sure the benefits rock.

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But, no one who is dead can be in heaven. YHWH is the god of the living...not the god of the dead. If you're dead then he's not your god and he'll have nothing to do with you. And when everything comes full circle YHWH will make his kingdom on earth, with the living, and once again there will be no dead or heaven. What's the deal with that? So is jesus the god of the dead then? The naive, yes, but the dead too?

 

mwc

Well, YHWH was a hittite war god... they tend to be gods of the dead... choosers of the slain etc. The Abraham religions are all death cults...

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