Anger

[Legion]

Good people, I am trying to understand anger. If you have any insights into its nature I would love to hear what you have to say. Please don’t assume that you have nothing to contribute. For I have looked into anger briefly and have found little agreement, even among those people who should know its every contour. In order to kick things off, here are some things that I’ve heard.

 

Anger is bad. (This one really pisses me off.)

 

Anger is a secondary emotion which is usually preceded by frustration, fear, or pain.

 

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy. Aristotle

 

Anger is ego driven. (So what? Is all ego necessarily bad?)

 

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha

[Jun]

Good people, I am trying to understand anger. If you have any insights into its nature I would love to hear what you have to say. Please don't assume that you have nothing to contribute. For I have looked into anger briefly and have found little agreement, even among those people who should know its every contour. In order to kick things off, here are some things that I've heard.

 

Anger is bad. (This one really pisses me off.)

 

Anger is a secondary emotion which is usually preceded by frustration, fear, or pain.

 

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy. Aristotle

 

Anger is ego driven. (So what? Is all ego necessarily bad?)

 

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha

 

"An angry man opens his mouth, and closes his mind." - Dogen

 

When we allow an angry thought to arise, we open the door to millions of obstructions. Uncontrolled anger can cause us a great deal of harm. Like any other human emotion, anger can be brought under control.

 

Who do we fight with when we become angry? We are fighting with ourselves, and losing. Anger is fuelled by emotion. Anger can cost you your reputation, job, friends, loved ones, peace of mind, and health.

 

When we become angry we throw out all reason. Anger is easily controlled, and then we soon see how destructive it is, how it cannot serve any benefit.

[Legion]

Gracious Jun, I was so hoping that you would weigh in here.

 

"An angry man opens his mouth, and closes his mind." - Dogen

I like that.

 

When we become angry we throw out all reason. Anger is easily controlled, and then we soon see how destructive it is, how it cannot serve any benefit.

Yet weren't Martin Luther King and Gandhi angry men? It seems to me that they harnessed their anger for constructive purposes.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Anger (for me, not a generalization for *everyone*) allows tight focus on problems, a tunneling of vision, and the direction and will to finish what is in front of me.

 

Fight? Work? Problem? WhatTheFuckEver? Doesn't matter, usually a temporary situation, temporary flush of emotives and motion, then back to mostly normal life.

 

Few things I am perpetually angry at, mostly political or personal. Those things are either long term fuckups or short term problems in the midst of being abated.

 

Anger is simply another emotion in which an excess is too much. Older I get the less anger with petty things, and more thoughts on how to take care of same with a bit more finesse..

 

kFL

[Jun]

Anger can often spurr people to action.

 

And that action would be...........beneficial? Could said action be achieved without resorting to anger? Could said action be dealt with in a far more rational way?

 

Yet weren't Martin Luther King and Gandhi angry men? It seems to me that they harnessed their anger for constructive purposes.

 

Naturally, anger can be harnessed and channeled to help achieve goals. As I said, like any other human emotion, anger can be brought under control. It can then be used to steer us in a new direction, to achieve goals. Raw anger however, will not be of any real benefit. When we are angry we must be aware of our anger, without letting it get out of hand, without directing it.

[Legion]

Anger can often spur people to action.

I think it can also often be used to manipulate people.

[Jun]

Anger can often spur people to action.

I think it can also often be used to manipulate people.

 

As in the bibles threats of the anger of "God."

[Legion]

See the thing is Jun, I have this feeling that in the "East" anger is viewed as entirely negative or bad. Why then has natural selection favored its expression? Clearly anger serves an important biological function. I just have a hard time believing that anger is entirely "bad."

 

Some have said that in some circumstances one would be a fool not to become angry.

[Jun]

See the thing is Jun, I have this feeling that in the "East" anger is viewed as entirely negative or bad. Why then has natural selection favored its expression? Clearly anger serves an important biological function. I just have a hard time believing that anger is entirely "bad."

 

Some have said that in some circumstances one would be a fool not to become angry.

 

The Buddha Dharma states that the fundamental nature of all sentient beings is essentialy gentle and not aggressive. We can see that a calm, affectionate, wholesome state of mind has beneficial effects on our health and physical well-being. Conversely, feelings of frustration, fear, agitation, and anger are destructive to our health and relationships with others.

 

Natural selection? A favoured expression? Does nature favour anger? I don't think so. Only fools become angry. Next time you are fuming in anger, take a look in the mirror. See how you have become red with rage, your face contorted into an ugly grimace - is that natural? Would you prefer to look like that always? That's what others are seeing while you are angry.

 

Human nature is essentially compassionate and gentle. We don't walk around perpetually in an angry mood. Anger, violence, and agression certainly can arise - but these arise when we are frustrated in our efforts to achieve love, understanding and affection. Anger is not part of our most basic, underlying nature.

[Jun]

When I said anger can spur people to action, I was thinking, for example, if you are in some form of athletics, it can cause you to be more focused and heavily motivated to win. When I was in high school many years ago, I played American football. I was not the biggest player by a long shot on the team. In order to perform at my best, I had to make myself litterally angery so I would perform at my best. It was more self directed anger so that I would push through fatigue and even physical pain.

 

That's not anger, that's determination. Self-directed anger is hatred of the self.

[Legion]

Perhaps we're having some language difficulties Jun? I don't know that I equate anger and hatred. Are anger and hatred the same thing for you?

[-Demona-]

Anger is sometimes a protective shield we put around ourselves to prevent our more tender emotional parts from getting hurt. It's easier to be angry than to let go and move on when someone has done wrong to you.

[Jun]

Perhaps we're having some language difficulties Jun? I don't know that I equate anger and hatred. Are anger and hatred the same thing for you?

 

From Wiki -

 

Anger is a (physiological and psychological) response to a perceived threat to self or important others, present, past, or future. The threat may appear to be real, discussed, or imagined. Anger is often a response to the perception of threat due to a physical conflict, injustice, negligence, humiliation or betrayal among other contentions. The expression of anger can be through active or passive behaviours.

 

Anger and hatred are not the same, however, if one directs anger upon oneself, it reveals a (perhaps deeply seated) hatred of the self. Why else would one direct anger upon the self?

[Jun]

Anger is sometimes a protective shield we put around ourselves to prevent our more tender emotional parts from getting hurt. It's easier to be angry than to let go and move on when someone has done wrong to you.

 

Wherein lies the problem. Easier is not better. Using anger as a facade, a shield, is a weakness. When someone has done wrong to you, you should show them compassion and love.

[Legion]

When someone has done wrong to you, you should show them compassion and love.

Jun, many of us were told something similar by the very people who were doing us wrong. This can be a prescription for being taken advantage of.

 

I think there comes a time in some circumstances to say ENOUGH, NO MORE, STOP! And at those times one's defiance expresses itself as anger. How is that wrong? Or foolish?

[Jun]

When someone has done wrong to you, you should show them compassion and love.

Jun, many of us were told something similar by the very people who were doing us wrong. This can be a prescription for being taken advantage of.

 

I think there comes a time in some circumstances to say ENOUGH, NO MORE, STOP! And at those times one's defiance expresses itself as anger. How is that wrong? Or foolish?

 

There comes a time in some circumstances to say ENOUGH, NO MORE, STOP - certainly. Put your foot down, take control of the situation. Become the master. Does this defiance require anger? I don't think so. It is just as easy to remain calm and state one's defiance. Allow the other party to get angry and loose their temper, but remain calm and you will soon see that you have far more control and power over the situation than your angry opponent. Anger will only cloud your judgement.

[Legion]

Okay Jun, I think I hear what you are saying. In the main I agree. However, I also think that there are times when anger is healthy, justified and good. I doubt most anger ever falls into that category though.

[Jun]

Okay Jun, I think I hear what you are saying. In the main I agree. However, I also think that there are times when anger is healthy, justified and good. I doubt most anger ever falls into that category though.

 

Mmmm. Could you please give an example of anger being "justified," "good" or "healthy."

[Garnet]

*butting in* Anger good or justified or healthy? In a case of attempted rape when the woman gets mad as hell...and the rape ends up nothing but attempted.

[Legion]

Mmmm. Could you please give an example of anger being "justified," "good" or "healthy."

I guess I can try.

 

A man kidnaps a couple's child to sell it on the blackmarket. The couple's anger towards the man is justified.

 

Please remember too that anger and aggression are not the same thing.

[Legion]

*butting in* Anger good or justified or healthy? In a case of attempted rape when the woman gets mad as hell...and the rape ends up nothing but attempted.

That sounds good to me.

[Jun]

*butting in* Anger good or justified or healthy? In a case of attempted rape when the woman gets mad as hell...and the rape ends up nothing but attempted.

 

That, again, is not anger but determination. The determination to survive. As someone who teaches rape prevention (civilian) and close quarter defensive tactics (military) the first thing I must instill in my students is the ability NOT to give in to anger, but to channel their determination to survive. Anger will only cloud their judgements and limit their effective responses. Afterwards, it may appear as though it were nothing more than anger, and they may feel anger towards what has happened.

 

Don't confuse raw anger and the aggression used to survive a confrontation.

 

A man kidnaps a couple's child to sell it on the blackmarket. The couple's anger towards the man is justified.

 

I don't think their anger is "justified." It's natural to feel anger, and perhaps hatred too. But justified, no I don't think so. Justification, from the Greek "to declare/make righteous." Anger can never be righteous.

[Garnet]

*butting in* Anger good or justified or healthy? In a case of attempted rape when the woman gets mad as hell...and the rape ends up nothing but attempted.

 

That, again, is not anger but determination. The determination to survive. As someone who teaches rape prevention (civilian) and close quarter defensive tactics (military) the first thing I must instill in my students is the ability NOT to give in to anger, but to channel their determination to survive. Anger will only cloud their judgements and limit their effective responses. Afterwards, it may appear as though it were nothing more than anger, and they may feel anger towards what has happened.

 

Don't confuse raw anger and the aggression used to survive a confrontation.

 

Excuse me, but no. It can be raw anger. It has been raw anger. I know personally. I have been in that situation. I was also a rape crisis counselor for over 10 years. And in that some cases it is good, justified and certainly healthy ANGER.

[Jun]

*butting in* Anger good or justified or healthy? In a case of attempted rape when the woman gets mad as hell...and the rape ends up nothing but attempted.

 

That, again, is not anger but determination. The determination to survive. As someone who teaches rape prevention (civilian) and close quarter defensive tactics (military) the first thing I must instill in my students is the ability NOT to give in to anger, but to channel their determination to survive. Anger will only cloud their judgements and limit their effective responses. Afterwards, it may appear as though it were nothing more than anger, and they may feel anger towards what has happened.

 

Don't confuse raw anger and the aggression used to survive a confrontation.

 

Excuse me, but no. It can be raw anger. It has been raw anger. I know personally. I have been in that situation. I was also a rape crisis counselor for over 10 years. And in that some cases it is good, justified and certainly healthy ANGER.

 

I disagree.

[Garnet]

*butting in* Anger good or justified or healthy? In a case of attempted rape when the woman gets mad as hell...and the rape ends up nothing but attempted.

 

That, again, is not anger but determination. The determination to survive. As someone who teaches rape prevention (civilian) and close quarter defensive tactics (military) the first thing I must instill in my students is the ability NOT to give in to anger, but to channel their determination to survive. Anger will only cloud their judgements and limit their effective responses. Afterwards, it may appear as though it were nothing more than anger, and they may feel anger towards what has happened.

 

Don't confuse raw anger and the aggression used to survive a confrontation.

 

Excuse me, but no. It can be raw anger. It has been raw anger. I know personally. I have been in that situation. I was also a rape crisis counselor for over 10 years. And in that some cases it is good, justified and certainly healthy ANGER.

 

I disagree.

 

You asked for an example. You attempted to redefine the emotion. And now you disagree. Obee kaybee. *shrugs*