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Is God Afraid To Come Back?


DarthOkkata
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I was replying to another thread about the 'rapture' when this struck me.

 

Christians perform a rather grizly and canabalistic ritual at each service. Some factions involve the whole congregation, some don't. This isn't new news.

 

The thing that got me, is...

 

What if the church is staving off the rapture by making god nervous about coming back. I mean, most christians 'train' to consume him, and they always talk about how 'good' he is.

 

Maybe god thinks we might think he's delicious?

 

There's something that warms the heart about Jesus appearing to a group of fundies, only to be devoured by them as they 'recieve the holy spirit' and lick the blood off the floor when they're finished.

 

Wouldn't that be ironic, if the church was our only defence against the evil tyrant that lives in the sky?

 

Ignorance and irrationality is our only hope!

 

Though, it does give an interesting new meaning to 'Who will be eaten first?'

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I liked the George Michael take on it...

 

"So you scream from behind your door

Say "what's mine is mine and not yours"

I may have too much but i'll take my chances

Because god's stopped keeping score

And you cling to the things they sold you

Did you cover your eyes when they told you

 

That he can't come back

Beacuse he has no children to come back for"

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I figure he is afraid he will get mugged when he goes through Central Park! LOL :brutal_01:

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Naw, it's not as though he's afraid. It's just that he died. At least, one of his special reps did. You know, that guy Falwell. Here's the article my prof sent me. I'm doing part of my thesis on Falwell. It's kinda weird. Yesterday I was writing about him in the present. I even made a footnote stating that to the best of my knowledge he's still alive and therefore I will speak of him in the present as opposed to the other fundies I'm studying who died long ago. Now I have to change all references to him as "was," delete the footnote, and enter the date of his death in the birth-and-death data about his lifespan.

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