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There Is Life Beyond Excommunication Even If Your Family Turns Cold


R. S. Martin
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I know I'm not the only one on here who has been shunned by friends and family. This message is especially for my fellow-exiles. I'm feeling pretty happy because I found a friendly humanist community even in this heavily Christianized corner of the globe that has a church on every street corner.

 

It might not be easy to find anyone in your area if you live in a bible belt area like I do so here is what I did. On exC I read that there are local groups throughout the world. I went onto the internet and googled for a batch of terms like freethinker, atheist, and humanist. From that I narrowed my search till I found local phone numbers. I wasn't too particular what label the group carried. I contacted the local people and met with the leaders for a coffee one evening. I felt accepted and like I fit in. Their stories were much like what I read on here. Today I become a formal member.

 

It's been a long and difficult ten months since my family turned cold. It's really good to feel like I belong to a group or "family" that holds the same values I do--people I can actually see and hear and shake hands with.

 

There is life beyond excommunication!

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I know I'm not the only one on here who has been shunned by friends and family. This message is especially for my fellow-exiles. I'm feeling pretty happy because I found a friendly humanist community even in this heavily Christianized corner of the globe that has a church on every street corner.

 

It might not be easy to find anyone in your area if you live in a bible belt area like I do so here is what I did. On exC I read that there are local groups throughout the world. I went onto the internet and googled for a batch of terms like freethinker, atheist, and humanist. From that I narrowed my search till I found local phone numbers. I wasn't too particular what label the group carried. I contacted the local people and met with the leaders for a coffee one evening. I felt accepted and like I fit in. Their stories were much like what I read on here. Today I become a formal member.

 

It's been a long and difficult ten months since my family turned cold. It's really good to feel like I belong to a group or "family" that holds the same values I do--people I can actually see and hear and shake hands with.

 

There is life beyond excommunication!

 

Ruby I am so happy for you. I could never do that, with xianaity I pushed myself (with a purpose, gags) to be socail, but it's very unatural for me. I have my immediate family though. Sometimes I miss more social stuff, but groups are just hard for me.

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If you have your own family and your daughters, then you are not alone in the world. I've felt very seriously alone in the world. I had not a single person. Something had to change.

 

The really good thing is that members can decide whether or not to participate in any given event. The value of formal membership is that I will receive notices of events. There are some educational events that I will want to try out. It remains to be seen how much I can/will attend social functions. Normally I get too bored with socials so that I have avoided all parties for some years now. If I can either learn or teach, I am fine. But straight socials--I know what you mean about--ugh, gag...

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Good for you Ruby. It is always better to have a community (family or freinds, perferably both) to go to for validation.

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It's gratifying to see your moving on with other friendships/relationships/community after exile.

 

I have my wife and children, and though I am an introvert, with a relatively small social network, I have found secular friends, one of them being every much as ex-c as anyone on this board. It sucks being one of the shunned, but we do move on and I'm happy to hear the your news about finding this group!

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Good stuff Ruby xx

 

Thing is, if one gets dropped for trivia like imaginary friends then they were never 'family' or 'friends' just people one knew for a while. It's like being dropped cos you think the popular kid in school is a bit of a jerk...

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Thanks Purple, Rob, Shackled, Garnet, Gramps. Wow--people who stick around through thick AND thin must be real friends. Thanks.

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