Outed Myself To The Christians

[Robbobrob]

So, I have had the Flying Speghetti Monster pic in my signature over at a parenting board for about a week now. It was my silent protest about another members use of a pic showing all science comes from the Bible.

 

So, a thread got started today by another member. I can feel set up, because it was not asked in the general Cafe forum, but rather the Spirituality and Faith forum. I really wanted to avoid making any real statements, because there are so many die hard Fundies there. (in a recent thread one said her favorite thing about her religion is that Jesus died for her even though she is unworthy). But I decided to come clean...for the most part. I know it will offend many there, but since it is in the S&F forum, no debate is allowed, so the most they can say is, "Thanks for sharing" if they disagree.

 

Her Question:

Does the picture in your siggy have a spiritual significance?

Just curious.

 

My Response:

He is the God of the Pastafarians, the Flying Speghetti Monster. (NOTE: not the Rastafarians of Bob Marley fame).

 

He revealed himself to a young scientist in California named Bobby Henderson. Henderson was so moved by the revelation of the Almeaty, he sent an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education a couple of years ago when they were debating whether to add Intelligent Design to the science curriculum. His letter applauded their efforts but reminded them that there are more than one theory of ID. He demanded equal time for the theory of FSM.

 

It is his Noodly Appendages that hold us down upon the earth (scientists call this "gravity").

 

His chosen People are Pirates, but only the kind that ride in giant sailing ships and swashbuckle, saying "Arrrr" and "Shiver me timbers". It is believed that there is a direct correlation between the decline in the number of pirates and the rise in global warming.

 

I currently have on my cube wall the very graph he used to show the correlation between Pirates and Global Temperture.

 

Pastafarianism is a parody religion, but don't let that label fool you, I take it very serious, because I see much truth in the silliness. In ancient times there were always gods who played the fool, carried on by court jesters and even modern day comedians, who held a mirror up to the society of the day to point out what is really going on, to make you laugh, yes, but also to make you think, to make you see yourself in a new light, and to grow from the experience.

 

It is not about the Truth for me. I leave that up to scientists. I trust in their "logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

 

I am all about the stories. Do the stories that try to teach us about our selves and about the world and about the type of people we should want to be accurate to the world we live in? I think much of organized religion, though it means well, has lost its way on telling people what is important to a real life of happiness and fulfilment.

 

For those of you who do find your religion, be it Christian or Judaism, Islam or Mormon, Taoist or Buddhist, Hindu or Satanic, I respect that, because I could never get myself to become part of any of those traditions with all my heart. And I've never been willing to do it "just because" or out of fear.

 

I currently choose my faith stories based on how much they make me laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote that a well developed sense of humor is superior to religion.

I would say that a well developed religion has a superior sense of humor (about itself, about society, and about the whole universe).

 

Um, what was your question again?

[disEnchanted]

Very good answer. Have you gotten any comments on it yet?

[R. S. Martin]

I love your story, Rob. First you tell this fantastic story, then you interpret. You also state your own position regarding religion, then you show how the Spageti Monster relates to your "religion." Excellent!

 

Please do tell us what response you get. I can't wait to hear.

[Robbobrob]

Thank you. It is funny because the way I wrote it I had a long preamble to it first...but I find on things like that, I need a couple paragraphs of junk to get to the good stuff. So, I chopped the bulk of the preamble, moved some of it down to the "intepretation section" and then added the final couple of paragrpahs (moving the Vonnegut quote from the middle to the end of the essay).

 

So far no one has commented. And I know that there are a few of them around. I suspect I may get no responses, because they hate it when I remind them that I am not Christian....because they all love me there so much.

[Grandpa Harley]

"because they all love me there so much."

 

And pray for you regularly, no doubt.

[Robbobrob]

"because they all love me there so much."

 

And pray for you regularly, no doubt.

 

Oh no doubt. I always have to have my "Jesus Shield" up to repel all prayers for my soul.

 

I am their resident Heathen, usually fairly safe and beniegn, but sometimes I have to remind them that I am not ever going to "see the error of my ways."

[Kirangel]

That was well written, good work. I don't know if your Jesus Shield will be able to withstand the amount of prayers you're going to get after that.

[Robbobrob]

So far I got one reply: "Noodly goodness!!!" from one of the only out of the closet gays on the site.

 

At least I got one guy to watch my back (and other parts, I'm sure).

[Robbobrob]

That was well written, good work. I don't know if your Jesus Shield will be able to withstand the amount of prayers you're going to get after that.

Sometimes I think I can feel the Prayer Arrows bouncing off of it at night, when I suspect most are saying their prayers before bed.

[R. S. Martin]

I know what you mean about prayer arrows. Mostly I think it's a psychological contraption in my own brain. I try to focus my thoughts on stuff that is helpful for me personally in the here and now.

 

Robbobrob said:

I suspect I may get no responses, because they hate it when I remind them that I am not Christian....because they all love me there so much.

 

I got a laugh out of that one. What a terribly conflicting quandary for the christians!

[Robbobrob]

3 responses (the one I posted above, and the two I have posted below). Many posts to prayer requests and other threads in that forum. But I bet if they had a view count, it would be rather high.

 

Wow... I had to read that three times lol

Thanks for answering me Rob.

[a skeptical believer]

Laughter is the best medicine. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote that a well developed sense of humor is superior to religion.

I would say that a well developed religion has a superior sense of humor (about itself, about society, and about the whole universe).

 

I couldn't agree more. Would you mind if I shared your "Pastafarian theory"? I think it's great.

I like the Jesus shield too. A variation on the metal colander covered in tin foil.

[R. S. Martin]

Skeptical, I'm looking at your sig. Don't be so open minded that your brains will fall out. That's a hoot!

 

Here's my quick theory on it and I don't know if it holds more water than the above:

 

Open-mindedness comes about by excercising the brain.

The brain is a muscle.

Excercising a muscle makes it increase in size.

When the brain muscle is excercised it increases in size.

A truly open-minded person's brain is so big that there is no danger in it falling out; the holes in the head just aren't big enough.

 

There! Now I won't feel so nervous anymore about my brain falling out.

[R. S. Martin]

3 responses (the one I posted above, and the two I have posted below). Many posts to prayer requests and other threads in that forum. But I bet if they had a view count, it would be rather high.

 

Wow... I had to read that three times lol

Thanks for answering me Rob.

 

These people sound really decent. You must have a really decent group of people you're working with. Respectful. It's good to know there are Christians like that on this earth--if they want to be Christian it's good to know that at least they are decent and respectful.

[Grandpa Harley]

Skeptical, I'm looking at your sig. Don't be so open minded that your brains will fall out. That's a hoot!

 

Here's my quick theory on it and I don't know if it holds more water than the above:

 

Open-mindedness comes about by excercising the brain.

The brain is a muscle.

Excercising a muscle makes it increase in size.

When the brain muscle is excercised it increases in size.

A truly open-minded person's brain is so big that there is no danger in it falling out; the holes in the head just aren't big enough.

 

There! Now I won't feel so nervous anymore about my brain falling out.

 

Mate of mine used to have the quote 'Is he Open Minded? Yes, I can feel the draught from here!' which I've always found absurdly amusing...

[Robbobrob]

Would you mind if I shared your "Pastafarian theory"? I think it's great.

 

Flying Speghetti Monster website here.

 

Wish it was "my" theory. Make sure to read the actual letter Bobby sent the school board, since that is where the whole concept came from.

[Robbobrob]

These people sound really decent. You must have a really decent group of people you're working with. Respectful. It's good to know there are Christians like that on this earth--if they want to be Christian it's good to know that at least they are decent and respectful.

 

Yeah, they are. Especially when it comes to the religion forum, too respectful sometimes. Tough to talk to each other there, because you are not allowed to criticize, or even sound like you might be critical, of another person's beliefs in there.

 

So, I posted that if anyone wants to discuss my thoughts in a more open and honest manner, to post in the debate forum...where they can be as catty as they want. And are currently about other religious issues like witnessing and the great Evolution/Creationism debate.

 

One woman even said she would never accept Darwin because of his attitude toward woman and blacks. So she disregards the entire theory and is fully accepting of the Bible, which I'm sure is where he got his beliefs on those subjects in the first place.

[a skeptical believer]

Robo: Loved the website. I have to share a comment from it:

 

Tim

Sep 14th, 2006 at 2:38 pm

You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously. The reason I ask, is because I truly wonder how you can conclude that a “Flying Spaghetti Monster” created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and pray that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that God would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least. Praying that you change,

The RkticFox

 

Poor Tim. Either you get it or you don't. Hope he gets some help. (like some cotton plugs for his eyes, ears, & nose).

 

Ruby,

 

I think there as many variations in people’s brains as there are beliefs. Some have the oozing brain and I would recommend plugging up their facial orifices as a precaution.

Like Tim (above)

[Robbobrob]

The hate mail over there is hilarious. Most just don't get it at all.

 

I just had a woman tell me that she does not believe in evolution at all (which is her right) and that Darwin is an idiot. I asked her to prove her claim. One thing to not agree with someone's theory, but to just off the cuff call someone who's theory has humg around for 100+ years an idiot, they are in tough shape over there.

 

Let us all bow our heads.....and shake them back and forth for the type of people I am trying to minister logic and reason and science to. (Some there do believe God lies to scientists, so evidence in their eyes counts as much as the Bible does over here).

[a skeptical believer]

Let us all bow our heads.....and shake them back and forth for the type of people I am trying to minister logic and reason and science to.

 

This would be the ultimate test. If your brains fall out (due to their thinning from narrow mindedness) then the Darwin theory is proven correct. To me DNR should have another meaning - Do Not Reproduce!

[perianwalsh]

I love the pasfarian answers....they always make me laugh....

[R. S. Martin]

Poor Tim. Either you get it or you don't. Hope he gets some help. (like some cotton plugs for his eyes, ears, & nose).

 

Ruby,

 

I think there as many variations in people's brains as there are beliefs. Some have the oozing brain and I would recommend plugging up their facial orifices as a precaution.

Like Tim (above)

 

I guess that's code for "the only good ignoramous is a dead ignoramous." I'm not taking credit for being original there; just substituted a few words from an old racist slogan that hopefully the young generation have never heard.

[Robbobrob]

Poor Tim. Either you get it or you don't. Hope he gets some help. (like some cotton plugs for his eyes, ears, & nose).

 

Ruby,

 

I think there as many variations in people's brains as there are beliefs. Some have the oozing brain and I would recommend plugging up their facial orifices as a precaution.

Like Tim (above)

 

I guess that's code for "the only good ignoramous is a dead ignoramous." I'm not taking credit for being original there; just substituted a few words from an old racist slogan that hopefully the young generation have never heard.

 

Racist slogan? "The only good runner is a dead runner" Now that makes no sense. The only good racist is a dead racist. Now that I can accept. LOL (Ruby, I hope your hope is right, and that some terms are lost to the backwash of history).

[R. S. Martin]

The racist slogan I was referring to was: The only good Indian is a dead Indian.

 

Seems that was common thought in the early days of European settlement in North America.

 

Normally racism is thought of as something Caucasions do to Afro-Americans but I figure European prejudice against North American Natives is no different. In fact, I think anyone putting down another person based alone on skin colour and other racial identifiers is racism. I call it racism when a Black girl makes fun of me (a white woman) in a bus terminal for no other reason than that my skin is a different colour than hers. So I think that slogan The only good Indian is a dead Indian is racism writ large.

[Robbobrob]

The United States was far worse in their treatment of the American natives than the Africans they brought over, mostly because the tribes people of North America did not accept the notion of subservience, and most decided to fight to the death then allow these invaders the ability to enslave them. It is an awful blackmark on the history of a country that takes such pride in being "the land of the free and the home of the brave. (the irony of the use of the word brave is not lost on me.)