xandermac Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 My husband of 13 years left yesterday on a drunken binge and I have no idea where he is or if he's in jail or dead. Exactly a year ago he done the same thing and got arrested for dui and resisting arrest. I made him leave but took him back after a month. It cost us over 4000.00 and he just got off color code last month. My question is does anyone know any group or web site to help co- dependents that is not a christian cult like AA or al-anon. I'm not about to give my will over to any sort of "higher power". I know I need help after all the abuse I've endured. I need strength and support to keep him out of my life this time.But it would be nice to talk to other people that done this without turning their will over to god.I've googled and searched and its all 12 step bullshit. I'm in a daze right now, I'm hurt and scared. The last thing I need is a bunch of god lies. Where do us infidels find help and support? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 I am so sorry to hear about your problems and wish I could help. Unfortunately, I don't know a lot about alcoholism. However, I have heard of one organization, SOS (Save Our Selves) that takes a secular approach to overcoming addiction. You can check them out at the following website. Best of luck! http://www.secularsobriety.org/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 Marlene Winell is a counselor who specializes in helping people who suffer from religious abuse. On her website it says she also works with couples. I would think she is qualified and capable of helping you develop the self-esteem you need to stand up for your needs. There are many links on her site. She also has a telephone/online group for religious recovery. You could also check out the Institute for Humanist Studies, Humanist Network News, and Freethought Forum. Perhaps someone or some article or link from one of these organizations will lead to something. The Sober Village is advertized as An Online AA group for athesists, agnostics, sceptics, humanists & other freethinkers. These are just ordinary people trying to help each other; no professionals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 I'm no expert but you may want to try these sites. I got them from a member here on Ex-C named Dave. They seem to be a good alternative to AA and Al Anon. SMART Recovery SOS LifeRing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 I don't know of any organisations, but I've been where you are. I can tell you that the very worst days that I've had to endure being divorced from my ex are better than the best days married to him. If there is a hell, eternal and pain and torture wouldn't really be hell for me, having to be married to my ex again for all eternity,now that would truly be my hell. My advise for you from someone who has been there is that the best thing you can do is cut contact with him, at least for a while. You have a history of abuse get a restraining order to keep him away from you and to keep him from contacting you so he can't play his bullshit games, manipulate you, and suck you back in. You need to get your head clear, re-focus, and get some time distance between you and him, so you can think clearly. Do not, and I repeat do not, second guess yourself, buy into his pity party, or feel sorry for him. See if they have a domestic violence program in your area where you can get counseling and support. They deal with this stuff all the time and will help you with resources, advise, and programs that you need. Do not do this alone. Tell everyone you know what has been going on. I would guess that no one really knows the extent of all you have suffered from this man all these years. Do not protect him any longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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