Things That Scare Fundie Parents

[Guest BibleThumper]

My mom had a real flip out one day... You know those crappy MP3 playing software bundles that search your computer for every sound file on it and makes a list of them? And then doesn't delete them off the list when you remove them from your hard disk? Well, I was limewiring some system of a down, manson and some other "satanic" bands (remember kids, stealing music is bad). I planned on DLing them, sideloading them to my portable MP3 player then deleting them. I did that, but the stupid media program (it's name eludes me) kept them on the list, and one day my mom opened it up and found the list of songs (notable names - Plastic Jesus - System of a down, Kill your god - Marilyn Manson). She came downstairs with a serious/scared look on her face and told me about what she'd found, and I bullshitted my way out by saying "It must be sample music that came with the computer, i've never heard of those bands". SHE BELIEVED IT 100%

 

On an unrelated topic, my mom called me a son of a bitch once when I blew up an egg in the microwave and it cooked to the inside (I was bored). Literary genius.

 

I'm sure if my mom knew about half the things I did behind her back, or half of the shit that I steal from the church that i'm forced to go to, she'd disown me. but i'm sly, she thinks i'm a little angel 0=)

[Mythra]

Tarot cards, pentagram necklaces and porn are all pretty good choices.

 

But, if you really wanna freak out your fundy parents, tell em you're converting to catholicism.

 

[Lerato]

I'm sure if my mom knew about half the things I did behind her back, or half of the shit that I steal from the church that i'm forced to go to, she'd disown me. but i'm sly, she thinks i'm a little angel 0=)

 

I assume that you are probably young BibleThumper, and I caution you that the Christian stereotype of nonbelievers is that we are amoral people with no system of morality. Many of us here at this forum are fighting this stereotype by convincing others that we can have moral values and a sense of justice without the need for an organized belief system. Unfortunately your actions of stealing from the church will only confirm the stereotype of nonbelievers for the Christians in the church that you go to. Nonbelief is not equivalent with anarchy. Taking what does not belong to you is wrong no matter whether or not there is a guy in the sky watching you. I urge you to return the things that you have taken from the church and find an alternate route for expressing your beliefs. Writing on this forum can be very helpful and I suggest that you express your feelings about your current situations here. We'll listen and it's ultimately a whole lot more productive than stealing, and a whole lot more legal as well.

[Onyx]

I never got really fundy Christian till I was 11. I stopped being fundie at 14. All of it was self enforced. So, the stuff I forbidden from myself was filthy media, looking at guys and gals, thinking of gay people as humans, swearing and blasphemy. When I deconverted, I did all of the forbidden things and it felt so good and human. Before I got Christian, I was a delightfully twisted child, so nothing was really forbidden to me except for the normal and the generally sensible moral do and don'ts of humanity.

 

When I was little, I played violent games like Mortal Kombat and Grand Theft Auto, I would read Dahl, some Dickens and stuff you won't expect a seven to ten years old boy to read. I would start to write stories and never finish them. I watched movies like Serial Mom, Independence Day, Austin Powers. I would draw funny comics of my hero, he would go on adventures with his wife, draw him having sex with her, killing robots and annoying the super villain. My toy plays involved me making up a story of a people devastated by a tsunami with figure toys, I restaged Princess Diana's funeral with the same kind of toys, I would collect toy cars for the purpose of crashing them, played with Barbies and Action Men (Action Men often had sex with each other but Barbies were for dressing up and chopping up) I would beg Mum to buy teddy bears so I could use them for fight and fake movie acting practice. I often drew and painted stuff about naked men and women that would make any grandmother blush yet it was innocent at the same time.

 

So yeah, I didn't have a typical childhood but it was fun! I don't regret doing all these stuff. I didn't get preached to by mum but dad did preach to me some. Even then, it was with mum that I spent the most time with. The only reasons that I turned Christian was cos that my religious dad gave me the Bible and I read Relevations. That upset me so much, I felt suddenly wicked for what I've done. I did a stupid thing. I ripped almost all of my comics and some writings. In a way, I'm angry at fundamentalist Christianity and the Bible. FUCK YOU for robbing me of my innocence and my creative history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't erotic drawings, video games and general delightful twistedness that took my innocence, it was religion.

 

Sure, the things I did in my pre Christian childhood wasn't the conventional innocent kid stuff but it was innocence nonetheless. I was very happy and Bible very nearly took it from me. Now I've recovered almost all of my pre Christian tendencies and I'm happier than when I was a Christian. The joy of being myself again is immeasurable.

 

Free yourself from religious puritianism and you'll find the true yourself there.

[Amethyst]

* Tarot Cards

* copies of the I Ching

* Role playing games like "Dungeons and dragons"

* Industrial music like Rammstein

* Anything vaguely 'New age' like Reiki, NLP, etc

* A copy of "The Occult" by Colin Wilson

 

Back when I was in college, my fundie cousin freaked out because I played Magic the Gathering, and she told my grandmother. My grandmother! First of all, I was a legal adult at the time and had the right to do whatever I wanted. Second of all, what was my grandmother supposed to do? Ground me? Yell at me? It's not like I lived with her or anything, and my grandmother is a little old lady who wouldn't hurt a fly, so it's not like she's going to yell at anyone. I don't understand fundies and their thought processes.

[GraphicsGuy]

I did a stupid thing. I ripped almost all of my comics and some writings. In a way, I'm angry at fundamentalist Christianity and the Bible. FUCK YOU for robbing me of my innocence and my creative history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't erotic drawings, video games and general delightful twistedness that took my innocence, it was religion.

 

Hi Onyx. I agree with you. I mourn for my completely lost childhood...especially my teenage years due to my fundy beliefs. Of course, my hormone defiency didn't help matters, but had it not been for church it would have had such a drastic effect on my life.

 

Being a preacher's kid and an only child didn't help either. My parents kind of left me alone and I had no brothers or sisters so I had no clue how to socialize within a family unit. I never wanted to be a problem for my parents and I was always worried about what people at church would think if I actually did something bad. Not only would they have pointed fingers at me, but would have started back-biting my parents as well.

 

I could have done a lot more and acted out a lot more had I been able to be true to myself. I do believe that religion completely stole a large portion of my life from me and I'm still paying for those religion-based decisions today.

[NearlyInsane]

I did a stupid thing. I ripped almost all of my comics and some writings. In a way, I'm angry at fundamentalist Christianity and the Bible. FUCK YOU for robbing me of my innocence and my creative history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't erotic drawings, video games and general delightful twistedness that took my innocence, it was religion.

 

Hi Onyx. I agree with you. I mourn for my completely lost childhood...especially my teenage years due to my fundy beliefs. Of course, my hormone defiency didn't help matters, but had it not been for church it would have had such a drastic effect on my life.

 

Being a preacher's kid and an only child didn't help either. My parents kind of left me alone and I had no brothers or sisters so I had no clue how to socialize within a family unit. I never wanted to be a problem for my parents and I was always worried about what people at church would think if I actually did something bad. Not only would they have pointed fingers at me, but would have started back-biting my parents as well.

 

I could have done a lot more and acted out a lot more had I been able to be true to myself. I do believe that religion completely stole a large portion of my life from me and I'm still paying for those religion-based decisions today.

So you're a PK, huh? Damn, what a drag! When my (now ex) husband flipped out & turned into a raving fundy, I went to church w/ him a few times (pentecostal). I always looked at the preacher's 2 kids & felt SO bad for them. I'm sure they fully believed all that nonsense & they were always singing solos in front of the church... They may even have enjoyed it at the time, but I couldn't help feeling horrible for them, because of what I know.

[GraphicsGuy]

They may even have enjoyed it at the time, but I couldn't help feeling horrible for them, because of what I know.

 

Eventually, they will start wondering and wanting their own lives. In the church my wife and I attend the pastor has a couple of daughters. One is 19 or 20 and you can so see it on her face that she is struggling with what she believes. She leads worship or sings a solo on rare occasions, but if you watch her in the pew she is obviously fighting with herself over what direction to take her life in.

 

I so want to talk to her some days and just tell her to fly free, but it's really not my place and I'm sure she'd reject the notion.

[michie_s]

When my son was younger I was the fundy parent! I made him get rid of a big round fake diamond encrusted necklace like rappers wear because I thought it was too worldly! The Pastor preached a message about it and I made him throw it away at church as an example to other kids and parents. He was so upset because he had saved his money to buy it. Jewelery on men was just not done.

 

Now I wish I could go back and undo some of the madness and the effect it had on him and just see it for what it was - just part of the journey through childhood to understanding himself and his individuality.

 

Michie

[GraphicsGuy]

That does remind of some things my parents did during a fundy phase (which, thankfully, was very short-lived).

 

My mom was changing my bed sheets when "God spoke to her" and told her to throw out my Star Wars comforter because Darth Vader was the devil. Had they ever actually watched Return of the Jedi they would have realized that the Emperor was, in fact, in the devil's role. Vader was just a backslider.

 

The second thing they did was get rid of this really cool work of art they had. It was just a wildlife drawing of an owl, but owls were a witches familiar so they threw out the drawing.

 

Oh...and my dad would never let me buy Transformers toys in the 80s since they were based on "deception". So, I built my own versions with Lego.

[Llwellyn]

Now I wish I could go back and undo some of the madness and the effect it had on him and just see it for what it was - just part of the journey through childhood to understanding himself and his individuality.