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My Journey


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I was born into a Catholic family, the 6th of 8 children, baptized and confirmed in the Church. When my oldest siblings went off to college, however, they lost interest in religion, and my mother just gave up on the rest of us.


I pursued New Age and Wiccan teachings in high school before becoming involved in Hinduism through Transcendental Meditation. When I went off to college, I got involved with some born-again-spirit-filled Christians and followed that for awhile, then formally joined the Episcopal Church because the architecture of the building was spectacular and the other college kids who went there were the most fun. The pastor there was very contemporary, and advised me to find some nice boy my age and lose my virginity.


I took his advice and that really led me away from Christianity altogether for awhile. For the next five years or so I led a very hedonistic lifestyle that ended in a rather unfortunate marriage. My unhappiness in marriage led me back to Christianity as I turned to God for help.


I ended up divorced despite the fact that my husband and I both joined a spirit-filled Christian church and attended together. He disapperated after the divorce and I was left to raise our child alone. He never sent a penny of child support, and I found myself again turning to prayer in desperation.


During my son’s early years I bounced from Episcopal to Lutheran to New Age and Buddhism without finding any peace. Finally I returned to Catholicism and felt at home at last. Though I was determined to let my son make his own religious choices, I think he recognized my satisfaction with the Catholic Church so he insisted on joining as well. I sent him to a fine Catholic college preparatory school, and all seemed rosy for a few years.


But then I was faced with a series of crises that no amount of prayer could help, and when I reached out to my priest for counsel and comfort, he was just too busy to be bothered. Another sex abuse scandal had rocked the local archdiocese, and the church hierarchy was busy with damage control and PR. They had no time for me.


At the beginning of that Advent season I put up my crèche and my advent wreath, but by Christmas my faith had fallen away like an eggshell off a baby chick. I looked at the pieces of what I had believed and who I had believed I was and all I could feel was amazement that it had taken me so long to break free.


Life is so much easier with no foolishness weighing me down. Decisions can be made based on common sense and logic alone, without agonizing over the “right” thing to do. Ironically this usually leads me to more moral and compassionate actions than I would have practiced as a “spiritual” person.


My son has gone on to attend a Catholic college, a decision I support because it is one of the finest colleges in the nation despite its religious affiliation. He and his lovely girlfriend are both atheists, however. I am very grateful that he is starting out his adult life with more sense than I had at his age.

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Welcome to the site, Litha. You're among friends.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just wish you can add details to your testimony-bu anyway welcome.

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It sounds like you have an interesting story to tell... thanks for sharing a little of it.


Welcome to the site. I hope you'll post once in a while. :)

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