white_raven23 Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 I was listening to my co-worker (openly religious....not frequently pushy) talk about one of her daughters. My co-worker is having a lot of problems with her, and is going to see about putting her in a military school of some kind. Maybe that choice is right, maybe that choice is wrong....irrelevant to the words that ACTUALLY followed. Her daughter is hanging out with much older teens. A valid concern seeing as the daughter is 12 and the "friends" are in the 16 to 19 year old range. Now here is where the discussion broke down for me. The co-worker expressed concern her daughter would be raped by one of these "friends". Now, technically that would likely be statutory rape, but my co-worker did not make the distinction. A fearful mother's perrogative....fine. HERE is where things break down for me. "My daughter already has her period, so she could get pregnant if she got raped. And of course I'd never let her get an abortion." Okay..... mom has already blurred the distinction between forced rape and statutory rape.... and goes on to specifically announce that she will prevent her daughter from the right to choose, even in the event of a forcible violation. And makes NO provision or expresses an intent to actually prevent this from occurring by getting her daughter on birth control. I think I hope the kid does go to military school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khdetw Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 I expect your co-worker may have a lot more to worry about the the next few years. In the cases I've observed, teenagers seldom respond positively to repression tactics to impose a religious conviction on them. But in many cases, when they take matters into their own hands and rebel they come out stronger for having done so (if they survive). I'd be willing to bet this person is also opposed to sex education to give her daughter a chance of learning how to be responsible with her sexuality. -- Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 I'm sure you disappointed Fundymom, white raven23. She was probably all ready for you to laud her parental concern and pro-life stance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 People like that have their heads in the sand. I wonder if the "problems" she is having with her daughter are simply her daughter disagreeing with her and speaking her mind. People like that usually have trouble understanding why their kids are not clones of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted August 2, 2007 Author Share Posted August 2, 2007 I'm sure you disappointed Fundymom, white raven23. She was probably all ready for you to laud her parental concern and pro-life stance. Unfortunately Ro-Bear, I have had discussions with this woman before. I didn't bother giving my two-cents to her on that charming announcement (I did "hmmf" and walk away), because in her eyes (and the eyes of many others I work with) none of my opinions "count" because I have no children of my own. She often condescendingly treats ME as a child as I've never been married either. Nevermind that she is a divorcee.....she has, at one time, possessed the Sacred Stone of Instant Maturity and Personal Improvement upon the finger....so her views and opinions automatically trump mine. Such is the Socio-Cultural Unspoken Marital Status Caste System. Especially prominent among the religious sheeple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 I'm sure you disappointed Fundymom, white raven23. She was probably all ready for you to laud her parental concern and pro-life stance. Unfortunately Ro-Bear, I have had discussions with this woman before. I didn't bother giving my two-cents to her on that charming announcement (I did "hmmf" and walk away), because in her eyes (and the eyes of many others I work with) none of my opinions "count" because I have no children of my own. She often condescendingly treats ME as a child as I've never been married either. Nevermind that she is a divorcee.....she has, at one time, possessed the Sacred Stone of Instant Maturity and Personal Improvement upon the finger....so her views and opinions automatically trump mine. Such is the Socio-Cultural Unspoken Marital Status Caste System. Especially prominent among the religious sheeple. You don't have to give birth to have common sense; and I must say, vice versa. WR, having had the pleasure of reading your thoughts for almost two years now, they are really idiots if they don't come to you for advice. Sheesh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted August 3, 2007 Author Share Posted August 3, 2007 You don't have to give birth to have common sense; and I must say, vice versa. WR, having had the pleasure of reading your thoughts for almost two years now, they are really idiots if they don't come to you for advice. Sheesh! I'm blushing. Thanks Taph. I mean it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 You don't have to give birth to have common sense; and I must say, vice versa. WR, having had the pleasure of reading your thoughts for almost two years now, they are really idiots if they don't come to you for advice. Sheesh! Seriously. There's more intelligence stored in your non-conformist brain cells that hang out behind the school and smoke pot by the dumpster than in the lot of their vapid, breezy skulls. 'Course, it usually is the mark of a small mind to be enthralled by a shiny rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 'Course, it usually is the mark of a small mind to be enthralled by a shiny rock. I see diamonds all day long and most of time they are shit. Gray discolored crap, seldom have I seen anything remotely clear. People ohh and ahh over diamonds because they are diamonds. All diamonds are not created equal. They are simply overpriced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanInPA Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 All diamonds are not created equal. They are simply overpriced. If only I could convince my wife... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 HERE is where things break down for me. "My daughter already has her period, so she could get pregnant if she got raped. And of course I'd never let her get an abortion." Am I the only one to whom this sounds like pregnancy is this "mom's" only concern?! : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 People like that have their heads in the sand. More like the bedrock below all the sand. I wonder if the "problems" she is having with her daughter are simply her daughter disagreeing with her and speaking her mind. People like that usually have trouble understanding why their kids are not clones of them. Count me in on that one too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 'Course, it usually is the mark of a small mind to be enthralled by a shiny rock. I see diamonds all day long and most of time they are shit. Gray discolored crap, seldom have I seen anything remotely clear. People ohh and ahh over diamonds because they are diamonds. All diamonds are not created equal. They are simply overpriced. I really can't stand diamonds. They are so boring! Costume jewelry looks better than many diamonds (also worked with jewelry). Personally I prefer tanzinite, tourmaline, sapphires, or emeralds. Especially emeralds, they are really fascinating to study. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garnet Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Gee...can anyone guess my favorite gemstone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted August 5, 2007 Author Share Posted August 5, 2007 Gee...can anyone guess my favorite gemstone? That is pretty. I really can't figure out why colorless diamonds are so prized. They are boring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkyone Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I expect your co-worker may have a lot more to worry about the the next few years. In the cases I've observed, teenagers seldom respond positively to repression tactics to impose a religious conviction on them. But in many cases, when they take matters into their own hands and rebel they come out stronger for having done so (if they survive). I'd be willing to bet this person is also opposed to sex education to give her daughter a chance of learning how to be responsible with her sexuality. -- Ken The sister of a friend of mine recently married a youth pastor who also teaches abstinence in the public schools. The couple now lives in New York state near the Canadian border. My mom went to the wedding and she said the 30-year-old groom made a point of mentioning that he's been saving himself for his wife and that they would be busy that night or some such drivel. I just think it sounds arrogant to mention that and in bad taste to say the other thing publicly, but that's just me. I almost feel sorry for this girl, er, woman, since she's about 22, but I guess she must be happy with him. I don't recall ever wanting to marry a pastor, but who knows, maybe when I was really young I thought it would be cool. Back when I first started deconverting the thing that terrified me the most was worrying that my husband would feel "called" to preach. I don't worry about it now, but I don't think I could handle it. My dad didn't actually pastor a church until about 7 years ago, and he's in his late 50's. My mom does a good job as a pastor's wife in their small church in beautiful, mountainous upstate New York (I loved being around those smallish--compared to those in Montana, where I grew up--mountains) when I visited them a few years ago, but I had a vague panicky feeling towards the end of the trip that subsided after returning to mostly flat Iowa. That's a bit off topic, but I finish here. Sparkyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I really can't figure out why colorless diamonds are so prized. They are boring. They are said to have this inner fire, aren't they? Not that I'd know, I've never seen a diamond in real life that was big enough to show such a thing... I guess... or else the lighting was always shitty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Whiteraven, If you reeeeealy want to piss your co-worker off,...LOL...wear a "Pro-choice" sticker on your shirt or blouse at work and watch her face...LOL.... For a more subtle variant one could use ear-rings or other stuff with a Valknut or similar. Might be many days before Ms Nutty finds out the shocking secret... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Wolf Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I'm kinda embarrassed of my own family right now. My 13 year old niece has been banned from hanging out with a 19 year old girl who is a friend of the family. I seem to be the only one that realizes that the older girl can actually teach my niece safe sex practices, as her mom sures the hell wont, and I would much rather the friend talk to my niece about sex than having to do it myself. And my niece is at that point where hormones and sex drive are in overdrive. Hopefully, that girl will go to military school, become very confident in herself, stand up to her mom, and put her mom in her place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 HERE is where things break down for me. "My daughter already has her period, so she could get pregnant if she got raped. And of course I'd never let her get an abortion." Am I the only one to whom this sounds like pregnancy is this "mom's" only concern?! : I would be willing to bet she'd say something along the lines of "Oh God, I don't even want to think about that." Keep the evils simple and God's plan works. Deal with the real complexities of the world, and the cute little black and white logic used by Fundies falls to pieces, and as said in an earier post, makes them stick their head in the sand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khdetw Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 This strikes a chord with me, having recently emerged from raising two teens. It seems like something is lost when we approach parenting (or life) from a perspective of absolutism. We discover only as as we travel the path. I come from a fundy family so I experienced parenting from that perspective. Above all, I did not want to burden my children that way. I have a sense of the value gained through their associations with older peers of which I was peripherally aware, but I kept at "arms length". I knew they were learning what they "needed to know" about life in their generation. Much of which I did not know how to convey to them myself. It is of course a parents responsibility to be aware of their child's associations and activities. To step into their world when it's necessary. But it's a delicate balance. Touch it too soon and you may destroy something much greater than anything you could have planned. Being able to let go enough, yet attuned to know when ... you can only know when you are present at the moment. Each situation is unique. -- Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I really can't figure out why colorless diamonds are so prized. They are boring. They are said to have this inner fire, aren't they? Not that I'd know, I've never seen a diamond in real life that was big enough to show such a thing... I guess... or else the lighting was always shitty If they are quality enough to have some consistant refractions of light, maybe. I'd rather have opals. Now THEY have inner fire! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Whiteraven, If you reeeeealy want to piss your co-worker off,...LOL...wear a "Pro-choice" sticker on your shirt or blouse at work and watch her face...LOL.... For a more subtle variant one could use ear-rings or other stuff with a Valknut or similar. Might be many days before Ms Nutty finds out the shocking secret... I work with a religious nut who as of late has been wearing "christian ties" to work and proselytizing to clients. I want him to know what it feels like to look at something all day that is the antithisis of what you believe. If he can do it so can I. I am being a bit facetious, but I think I am going to buy this shirt and wear it to work. Here is a link http://richarddawkins.net/store/index.php?main_page=index Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 'Course, it usually is the mark of a small mind to be enthralled by a shiny rock. I see diamonds all day long and most of time they are shit. Gray discolored crap, seldom have I seen anything remotely clear. People ohh and ahh over diamonds because they are diamonds. All diamonds are not created equal. They are simply overpriced. I really can't stand diamonds. They are so boring! Costume jewelry looks better than many diamonds (also worked with jewelry). Personally I prefer tanzinite, tourmaline, sapphires, or emeralds. Especially emeralds, they are really fascinating to study. Seriously. I'd rather look at an actual gem with color any day ('specially emeralds, as green is my favorite color). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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