Llwellyn Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I just came back from the YMCA. After my workout and shower, I was drying off and getting dressed next to my locker. I noticed a man behind me looking at me from over the top of a row of lockers. Then I saw him walk back and forth in kind of a quick, agitated way, looking at me and trying to make eye contact. At some point, everyone else in the locker room had left, and it was just him and me. From behind me, he asked me a question: "Did you use the spa?" I turned toward him and looked at him, and he was pulling down his shorts and facing me directly, with his very erect penis pointed at me, five feet away. The minute I saw him this way, I turned away and moved my eyes back to my locker. I mumbled out some answer, and he kept asking me questions without moving from where he was or adjusting himself: "Did you use the pool, then?" "How was the pool?" He asked me three or four questions, and I was giving one word answers, without looking at him. I quickly left, without looking at him. After discussing it with my friend in the parking lot for a few minutes, I went to the front desk and asked to speak privately with one of the YMCA employees. I described what happened, and he said that he wanted me to make a report and help identify the man. The YMCA employee said this sort of thing happened quite often there. So, we walked back into the locker room, and the man was still in there. The YMCA employee said to him, "I would like to speak with you privately before you leave, please don't leave the YMCA before we have a talk." The man looked nervous but not at all surprised. At that point, I left after making a short statement and leaving my contact information with the YMCA employee. It was pretty embarrassing for me. I felt kind of creeped out. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. The worst thing was that I was at the YMCA with a female friend who I am trying to get serious with. I was kind of rattled and told her what happened. I'm not sure how masculine it made me appear to be targetted like this. Anyway, I just wanted to tell someone this story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garnet Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Well, that was creepy! I just don't get people who do stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Ewww, that's really creepy. Sounds like you handled it as well as you could though. Just getting away from people like that is the key thing, I think. Fwiw, speaking as a woman: if I were out on a date with you (or anybody) and something like that happened, I certainly wouldn't have your masculinity on my mind. I'd be more worried that you were okay, and more compassionate. Getting flashed happens to women all the time, so many of us know how awful it feels - and that's what I'd be thinking about. Any woman who would think less of you as a man because of something like that doesn't deserve another date. Plus flashers are just fucking CREEPY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhia Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Ugh! What an asshole! Seriously, you're no lesser masculine for what happened - in fact, I'd say you're more so for being able to actually say something to one of the employees. I used to work at the YMCA, and so I know that such would happen often - but it was never something that actually happened to me. I always felt so horrible for the women who would come forward - all they wanted to do was exercise in peace. I'm sure many men don't come forward due to embarrassment. You did well, no one deserves that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Wolf Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 You did handle that much differently than I would have. I don't mind gays, I actually have a couple of gay friends. But gays who make advances on me are asking for punishment. I feel since a woman can slap a guy around for making unwanted sexual advances and gestures, I can shed some blood. I would have given him a verbal warning though before I resorted to a "back the fuck up punch." I was also labeled a gay basher in high school for doing that a few times, even though I bash gays just for being gay. But, it doesn't make you less of a man for doing that. It makes that fuck that did it on the level of dirt though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 If I ever get flashed (not that likely I guess... as has been said already it mostly happens to females) I'm determined to just point at that dick and laugh my arse off. Wonder if that fuckface will ever do it again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknowing1 Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Sorry that happened to you. Whether male or female it shouldn't. I think you handled it very well and I do not believe for a second how you handled it sheds doubt on your masculinity. It's my opinion that using fists isn't what makes a man. Besides had you used your fists you probably would have been arrested. I'm glad you turned him in. His next victim could have been a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
מה טבו Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I don't mind gays, I actually have a couple of gay friends. But gays who make advances on me are asking for punishment. Need I make the obvious distinction between gay guy and creepy flasher? Women get hit on by guys who don't interest us all the time. There's a whole art form in femininity of learning to politely turn guys down. When he whips it out on you though, then you can mace the bastard. There's the story of a man in a trenchcoat boarding a flight. The attendant at the gate asks him for his boarding pass. Instead, he opens his coat and flashes her. Without batting an eye, she says "I asked for your ticket, not your stub." Llwellyn, I'll have to second the motion of the other females here. Your masculinity is not called into question. Any woman who has survived long enough to need a bra knows what pervs are about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Sounds like you've unwittingly walked into what used to be called a 'County Cottage' over here in Blighty... or someone trying to make one. I'm not sure you were flashed in the traditional sense, but you were certainly propositioned for casual, anonymous gay sex... I say 'not flashed' in that, generally speaking, there is an attitude of 'it pays to advertise' in that particular sub-culture... It was what got George Michael entrapped in LA... As to Masculinity... Rock Hudson! 1) he was pretty well the poster boy for 'masculine charm' 2) he liked men like him. Buff and butch... Unwanted attentions are always bad... I tend to go for, 'Thanks, buddy. If you did it for me I'd be the luckiest guy in the world... but I'm straight. Sorry.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mick Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I wouldn't question your "masculinity" for being targeted in that way. I probably wouldn't question your "masculinity" in this situation in any way. However, I would question why ALL you would do is turn you back, and continue to give him one word answers in any way. I would have fucking either went nuts on him verbally or fucking planted him immediately. I can't imagine turning my back, and continuing to converse with him, one word answers or not. -sorry I just came back from the YMCA. After my workout and shower, I was drying off and getting dressed next to my locker. I noticed a man behind me looking at me from over the top of a row of lockers. Then I saw him walk back and forth in kind of a quick, agitated way, looking at me and trying to make eye contact. At some point, everyone else in the locker room had left, and it was just him and me. From behind me, he asked me a question: "Did you use the spa?" I turned toward him and looked at him, and he was pulling down his shorts and facing me directly, with his very erect penis pointed at me, five feet away. The minute I saw him this way, I turned away and moved my eyes back to my locker. I mumbled out some answer, and he kept asking me questions without moving from where he was or adjusting himself: "Did you use the pool, then?" "How was the pool?" He asked me three or four questions, and I was giving one word answers, without looking at him. I quickly left, without looking at him. After discussing it with my friend in the parking lot for a few minutes, I went to the front desk and asked to speak privately with one of the YMCA employees. I described what happened, and he said that he wanted me to make a report and help identify the man. The YMCA employee said this sort of thing happened quite often there. So, we walked back into the locker room, and the man was still in there. The YMCA employee said to him, "I would like to speak with you privately before you leave, please don't leave the YMCA before we have a talk." The man looked nervous but not at all surprised. At that point, I left after making a short statement and leaving my contact information with the YMCA employee. It was pretty embarrassing for me. I felt kind of creeped out. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. The worst thing was that I was at the YMCA with a female friend who I am trying to get serious with. I was kind of rattled and told her what happened. I'm not sure how masculine it made me appear to be targetted like this. Anyway, I just wanted to tell someone this story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Llwellyn obviously didn't realize what was happening and it took a while to process the weird and the strange. Seems to me that he was just trying to be polite, even though he was uncomfortable. I'm sure that if were to happen again, he would react very different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 As to Masculinity... Rock Hudson! 1) he was pretty well the poster boy for 'masculine charm' 2) he liked men like him. Buff and butch... Like Jim Nabors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 As in the actor who portrayed Gomer Pyle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 One of the things I never understood... what did Paul Lynde have on Hudson that stopped Hudson suing Lynde's arse like he'd sued everyone else who'd even whispered that he was gay (Lynde didn't hide his proclivities...) Chances are it was photographic but nothing came to light after Lynde's death... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Ugh, that really sucks. Hate to have that happen, I think I would have taken the same approach as mick or Luke Wolf. To back up what other women here have been saying, masculinity levels would be the last thing on my mind if that happened to a guy I was on a date with. I think I might have issues didn't report it. I think thats like just letting it happen to someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 As in the actor who portrayed Gomer Pyle? So rumor had it. Also Wally Cox. Don't want to shift the focus too far from Llwellyn's experience, though. I probably would have been too stunned to confront the dude as well. I bet Llwellyn thought of lots of stuff he'd like to have said after some time had passed. One should not approach another man in the locker room whilst in possession of an unconcealed woody; that should be a rule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 One shouldn't spend more than a minute washing things that only need a few seconds and a sloosh under the foreskin in a public shower... but people do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Oh for fuck's sake folks... Ya look at dorfus with Mr. Winky all proud and poked out, giggle as loud as you can and shout "I ORDERED COCK!""... Wait! That's not a FULL ORDER! kFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonwhatever Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 I say so what? If you had given him a completely clear indication that it was out of the question, he probably would have backed off. I would have just walked out and left, feeling flattered, to be honest. But that is me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 I think it was handled well. Violence solves nothing. Even getting verbally nasty. What point would acting like that prove. I would not of cared at all, just ignored his nakedness and talked to him, while going about my business. Now, if it had been a naked woman.....pretty sure I would not have been able to string much more than one word answers together....but that is just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 I feel the need for levity There... that's better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Oh that is just awful, GH. Hilarious, but awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llwellyn Posted August 8, 2007 Author Share Posted August 8, 2007 Last night at my favorite coffee shop, I spoke with two of my friends who also go to the downtown YMCA. I told them about what happened on Saturday, and at first they asked me to describe the guy. I described him, and they knew exactly who I was talking about. This guy had tried to touch both of them at different times in the steam room. Neither of them had reported him as I had. So, I guess I am not the only guy targetted in the locker room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.B. Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Honestly... when the fuck are people going to realize that sex is just like religion... if it is to be of any meaning at all, it has to be about deep personal relationships, not just forcing your fucking prick into the conversation. I once had a friend who was gay. He wrote in my HS yearbook that he wished me well after graduation and he wished I had a gay twin! I was flattered, totally and honestly. He was a sweet guy (no pun intended, yet there it is... staring at me... ahem, sorry) and I knew him well enough (and he, me) to know the intent of his comment. If mister pointy-prick wanted to get anywhere, he should have at least tried a LITTLE subtlety. Just like the fundys... fuck nuance, let's bash people! Fuck flirting, let's just have an anonymous ass-party! What a dick, in every way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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