מה טבו Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 When I was growing up, Christianity, like every other rule in our house, was enforced through violence. My brother once said he didn't believe in hell, and he got his hand burned. Any other transgression usually got the shit beaten out of you. When I was around 15, I lost fear of my father. It occurred to me that the worst thing he could do was hit me, and he already did that. Right around that same time, I lost fear of questioning Christianity. It didn't take too long to abandon it entirely. When I did, I was open about it, and the predictable result was violence. It wasn't as bad as I thought - being hit a few times, grabbed and shaken - very mild stuff for my upbringing. I laughed at him while he did it. Then one time I let him think I was a witch, and had put a spell on him. That ended in me sitting in the living room as he had a Bible in one hand and his hot-loaded .45 semiautomatic pointed at my face in the other. He spent all night screaming about how "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live", and things were going to change in this house, etc. I don't remember why he didn't kill me (I think I remember laughing at him while he held the gun), but he kicked me out and I got to go back to live with Mommy fundie for a few more years. Just wondering if anybody else has faced violence or threats of violence on leaving Christianity. What's your story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Wow. That was strong. I never experienced any violence in my life like that. My parents were kind, humble, passionate and loving... even towards some of my siblings that kind of left the faith. But overall, I had a great childhood, and I'm very sorry that you had to have a life like that. Sidenote: if I want to write your name with the English letters, how would you transliterate your name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
מה טבו Posted August 7, 2007 Author Share Posted August 7, 2007 Sidenote: if I want to write your name with the English letters, how would you transliterate your name? Mah Tovu. I get asked that quite a bit - I'll probably add it to my sig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garnet Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 I've never experienced that kind of violence from anyone in my family. Ever. You must be an incredibly strong person to survive that kind of environment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Wow just wow....I have heard of shit people do...but this is the most disgusting vile thing I have ever heard even from all the testimonies that I have ever read. I am so sorry that things like this happend and the worst of all it is backed by Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerato Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 It is very apparent from your story that you were both physically and emotionally abused. Your father most likely had a need for power and domination and used religion as a crutch for his behavior. He probably even went through the Bible and picked out all of the "Honor your father and mother" -type passages and used them to justify his behavior. As someone who has worked for an NGO dealing with abused children I know that the effects of this type of childhood experience can be very long lasting, and often the scars on the psyche from the emotional abuse are even harder to deal with than the physical abuse. To specifically answer your question, no I did not encounter any violence from my family upon leaving Christianity. Disappointment - yes, attempts to get me to change my mind - yes, violence - no. You must be a very strong person to have come through what you have gone through. I hope that you are now free of the religious power and domination tactics used by your family and are creating a better life for yourself. Best Wishes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Just goes to show...you can take a person out of the Dark Ages, but you can't take the Dark Ages out of the person. It's the perpetuation of anitquated beliefs like your freaky father's that are the reason we don't have solar powered flying cars yet! Seriously...glad you got out of there. Are you still with Fundy mom? Or are you of age and away from both of them now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Wow, that is an awful story, and one I thought died out in the 1800's. I hope there is much more peace in your life now. Glad you survived and are now here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Just wondering if anybody else has faced violence or threats of violence on leaving Christianity. What's your story? Nothing of that kind over here... but then, not only was my family pretty mainstream German christian (read: lukewarm ), but when I first heard the call of the High Gods of the North, my parents had both died already - and my relatives do care for quite some things but not for religion Sickening, that stuff you describe there. If that's not an open declaration of bankruptcy (on behalf of those who wanted to make you keep believing), what can ever be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Mah Tovu, I read your post and my mouth dropped open. I cannot conceive of a parent pulling a loaded gun on their own child. That has to be a life-changing experience. You are a very strong person to have survived emotionally intact. And your brother got his hand burned? Is he a survivor also? I hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
מה טבו Posted August 8, 2007 Author Share Posted August 8, 2007 And your brother got his hand burned? Is he a survivor also? I hope so. The burn was a small, minor second-degree burn, around the size of a nickel. Nothing life-threatening, but nothing that should be done to a 11-year-old either. I thought the means of doing it was particularly vicious though. This 230lb man held a skinny, screaming 11-year-old kid's arm with one hand and with the other, held a magnifying glass over it to reflect the sun. He then proceeded to keep him there while he delivered a sermon on how hot the sun was, and how hot hell was. Kid was trying to get away, but what's a small kid going to do against a grown man? I don't remember how long the sermon lasted, but it was long enough to inflict a second degree burn with a magnifier. To my knowledge, my brother never got the gun treatment, but the burn was the least of what he got. He got beaten with a 2x4, a water hose, a belt, a closed fist, and fence wire, among other things, but that had nothing to do with leaving Christianity. He's alive. He's a bit tetched in the head from all of it, I think, but he's doing okay now. Are you still with Fundy mom? Or are you of age and away from both of them now? I'm 26 now. Fundy mom mellowed out a bit over the years, and we actually get along pretty well now. As to being a strong person, I don't know. Sometimes you survive because you have no alternative. He didn't kill me, so I didn't die. No real strength on my part, just luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhampir Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 As to being a strong person, I don't know. Sometimes you survive because you have no alternative. He didn't kill me, so I didn't die. No real strength on my part, just luck. Wow, that echoes my sentiments exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 As to being a strong person, I don't know. Sometimes you survive because you have no alternative. He didn't kill me, so I didn't die. No real strength on my part, just luck. I don't know. You COULD have become a basket case. You COULD have become as warped as your father. You've clearly emerged from your nightmare as a thinking and reasonable person. That is admirable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie Goodnow Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Dude. If I had been there your father would not have lived to see his next birthday. You don't DO that to a child!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Wow, that is an awful story, and one I thought died out in the 1800's. I hope there is much more peace in your life now. Glad you survived and are now here. Watching the UK version of Court TV, large segments of the US antedate the revolution.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 This kind of story has me asking: How do we evaluate who had it toughest? I tend to think a fifteen-year-old who can laugh at her father has not seen the ultimate emotional annihilation. I think that is why Mah Tovu survived. In my family, physical violence to a child over the age of ten, or thereabout, was not done. However, the emotional violence stopped nowhere. Where human decency left off religion took over. When I was in about the second grade I learned a song at school about "A froggie would a-wooing go, whether his mother would let him or no." I hadn't the slightest idea what "a-wooing" meant but I sure knew what it meant if mom didn't let you do something you wanted to. I tried it out on my mother one day and told her I would do whatever it was she told me not to "whether you let me or not." Did I ever get told! Probably with smacks on various parts of my body including my face but I don't remember that part. Not ever again so long as she lived (which was last March) did I say that kind of thing to her. Laughing in the face of a parent would have gotten me "killed." I don't know if I'm right or not. Mennonites don't use physical violence because the Bible forbids taking human life. Thus, holding a loaded gun or sharpened knife in a threatening way to anyone's body would not happen. However, I tend to think (and I don't know if I'm right) that they make up this lack of physical violence with very finely and highly honed psychological weapons. I have yet to see anyone more skilled at using psychological weaponry than my mother. Emotional manipulation was her specialty. When I left the church every trick in the book was used on me. And when mom passed away the others closed ranks and filled in for her. Did I suffer violence? Not physical violence but I would say extreme emotional violence. If physical violence had been as bad as your experience, I think I would have died, either by my own hand or someone else's. As it was, I was taught that the well-being of the body was paramount. Like you say, I didn't die so I'm alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 AS I have said from day 1...christianity is rotten to the core, and malevolent from its origins. After these testimonies, is there anyone that can say otherwise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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