Last Throes Of Existential Crisis

[Guest Geese Aplenty]

After almost two years of arguing with fundies/moderate evangelicals at TWO Xian forums, I think I'm finally confident enough to leave evangelicalism for good. What seemed to help me finally make the decision to leave for good was this:

 

The composite picture of what both factions of Xianity told me sealed the deal. Does anyone know what I mean by this? One faction tells me all that is wrong with the world--including predation, thistles, cancer, dandruff--can be traced back to Eden. On the other hand, more liberal evangelicals could not explain how a loving God could weave such calamity and suffering into creation independent of any kind of human violation of his order. It simply didn't make sense to me. One cannot WILL belief; it's not a fucking on/off switch, you know? How am I supposed to believe the merciful, loving Jesus Christ of the NT is the same God who put us in the food chain from the beginning? I mean, YECists ask the same exact questions, so it wasn't like I was making this shit up or trying to be rebelious. I was asking the same questions that THEIR OWN BRETHREN ask, you know? They have the same problem with a god who would be this cruel. So when I started to see the composite picture of both their theologies, I was like FUCK YOU. No one can stay sane and try to live by this absurd worldview.