Should Ex-christians Visit Christian Forums

[michie_s]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this so please move it if necessary.

 

I'm pretty new to this forum and as an ex-fundie. I'm surprised at the number of "anonymous" and other xians that come to this site to give their 2c on any given topic. As far as I know we don't limit where and how they participate here (please correct me if I'm wrong)

 

Well..lets just say I got curious about whether this happens the other way around so I googled and found many xian froums. I should not be, but I was still surprised at the attitude to non christians there. In fact there was a post on one forum asking why non christians even come there and if they should be banned - very, very negative.

 

So I guess I'm wondering why would a non-xian bother to go to a xian forum? You know what you're gonna get and you're banging your head against a wall. Just the same as when they come here. Shouldn't we take the higher road and not engage in the petty games that we see xians playing here, on their forums? Also they seem to really limit how non-xians can participate in case they lead the flock astray - so whats the point? Won't people who are questioning find their way here anyway, so we don't need to go there and de-evangelize (for lack of a better word).

 

Please understand I'm just curious to know as this is all new to me.

 

Michie

[Beowulf]

Michie,

 

Some people actually enjoy the head-banging and confrontation. I think the term "Recreational Christianity" might apply here, where folks are intrigued by what is said in these forums, much the same way that someone might be intrigued by a train wreck.

 

That being said, you're always going to have someone who pushes against the general tenor of a forum, whether it be for xians, atheists, or model railroad enthusiasts. My personal feeling is that if done incorrectly, it can be a breech of etiquette and can get obnoxious very quickly. Most "anonymous" posts are like this. If done correctly, it can be an interesting exchange and close examination of one's own beliefs.

[Robbobrob]

The same reason they come here....to take over the world. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

I use the Internet more for support than debate. But I have a couple places I like to bang heads with people who definately do not think like me. It gives me a chance to blow off steam, and learn how other people think.

 

I have never ventured to post over at a fundie site, I would be eaten alive over there, having not the temperment to lie about who I am, or the knowledge to act enough like them to fit in.

[HoustonHorn]

During my deconversion I split my time between here and a Christian forum (CF.com). The Christian forum was so strict in what I was allowed to discuss that I generally had better conversations here and I think that probably helped me get to the agnostic / atheist point that I'm at now faster than I would have otherwise.

 

Now I occasionally go back and browse that site just to see what sort of things I've left behind. I find it almost comical that one of the best things I can do when I think that I may be wrong about Christianity is to spend some time reading what Christians have to say. It sure seems to turn me back quickly.

[NearlyInsane]

I have to admit to badgering a few fundy boards back in the earlier days of my professed atheism. If I had to pinpoint a basic motive, I'd have to say I was attempting to work off some of the pent-up anger at being raised in such a destructive religion. They really did a mind job on me, so I had a LOT of anger to vent, & I found it fun once I learned how to use the bible against the fundies. I was defenseless when I was being beat over the head w/ that crap growing up. I guess it was like confronting someone who had picked on me as a kid, after I grew up, got tall & strong, did lots of weight lifting, etc. "Can't pick on me now, can you, nanananana" kind of thing.

 

I tired of it quickly, & eventually tired of arguing about religion w/ anyone. But for a while I really had to do all that to get myself into a place where I could go on with my life.

[Legion]

I don't fault those who feel the need to confront Christians on their own turf, but personally I don't feel the need for it. In my view they live in a bubble. I feel that I have to constrain myself in order to communicate with them. For me it's not worth the effort.

[Grandpa Harley]

I leave the evangelical shit to JREF and the like...

[Piprus]

I don't waste my time on xian sites. Out of curiosity I lurked in a couple of them, and they looked for all the world like a mutual admiration society with severe constraints on any posts that fall outside of the "kingdom" construct. Kind of scary, really, because if you think about it...if the xians, esp. the dominionists, get their way, this is what will be forced on you...the Stepford Net.

[Grandpa Harley]

The OOZE was ok... but the evnaglists took the place over after I decided that even the most liberal people there were monsters in human form... and unlike most monsters, they didn't see it themselves.

[Garnet]

I belong to a couple of christian forums...and I'm not sure exactly why. Atheists are definitely treated as objects of evangelism. Given my experiences with Christians the past few years, I am cynical and suspect they always have the underlying motive of winning me back to the fold. I think one of the reasons I keep going back is that it keeps me from becoming complacent. About the time I start to think, you know, these folks really aren't that bad...someone, generally a Calvinist, will come along and re-confirm all my worst notions about christians. I don't really debate much with them. In fact, lately I lurk a lot. Usually, I'll just answer threads that pose a question or just chime in here and there in on-going discussions. I participate in several fellowship threads just for fun.

 

I regularly have to take breaks from christian forums, sometimes for months. I suspect one of these days, one of those long breaks will turn into a permanent one.

[michie_s]

...they always have the underlying motive of winning me back to the fold.

 

That's what would keep me away from them. I don't think I'm strong enough yet to debate with some of the folks I saw there. The "we ought to love everyone like Jesus" veneer seems so thin.

I don't know if our being there made them think any better of ex-christians from some of the things I read - does it do more harm than good?

[GraphicsGuy]

Hi michie,

 

Does it harm the non/ex-christian cause to go there? I don't think so. Many Christians have such a warped perspective of non/ex-Christians (and especially athiests) that we can never be worse than their expectations.

 

As for going to Christian sites...well, for me it actually HELPED my deconversion process. It absolutely nailed home each and every problem I had with Christianity.

 

The best Christian site has to be bible-discussion.com. I was on there years ago as a fundy and then I came screaming back at the height of my anger on the extreme opposite pole. I screamed, yelled, swore, was snide, nasty and rude...and they never banned me or warned me or anything. Oh sure, some Christian members got excessively self-righteous with me and just fueled my fire (one just told me the other day that God didn't want me and a moderator went after him).

 

Anyway, it was on that site that I slowly calmed down and eventually stopped arguing for the most part. I was satisfied that I was right to deconvert.

 

Rapture-ready banned me after a few days (and I had said nothing about de-converting).

After-him told me I wasn't welcome if I was going to say I didn't believe and wasn't going to ask questions.

 

Other than that, I tried debatingchristianity but did eventually end up bored of debating.

 

Support is what I really needed and that's when I found ex-christian. What I really want to do right now is start a REAL support group in my city for ex-christians.

 

Anyway, hope I didn't go on too much of a tangent there. I guess I just wanted to explain that going on Christian forums can help the de-conversion process in the right situations.

[Grandpa Harley]

Hell, half of The OOZE had been banned from Rapture Ready...

[godlessgrrl]

I'm a member at CF. I don't post much anymore, and generally stay away. But every so often I'll stick my head in there and look around for two main reasons:

 

1. To know my enemy (i.e., Xianity), and

 

2. For reminders of why I left Xianity in the first place.

[♦ nivek ♦]

michie,

 

As one of Dave's watchdogs and cleaner of carpets, boxer-upper of peanut shells and fixer of assorted boo-boo ouchies (most self inflicted), lemmie tell you this about 'here'.

 

You want to let loose a string of expletive laden, brain farting, hate filled gunk aimed at those hwom you feel, know or have done harm to you, yours or those you care for, net result here is:

 

"Goddamn michie, let IT out"

 

"Fuckin' AWESOME kiddo, we've been there!"

 

Then there are the gentle voices both public and private who are willing to help you along despite the e.atomics that your life created and exploded in your guts and heart.

 

Eventually you find that there are others who share part of your life, part, effort. You are self determinate, but never alone on your journey through the rest of your life.

 

May not "heal all wounds" but when the shit continues to boil out, ooze out of the once sealed cracks, or things come apart, ExC is a place to come blow off the assorted bullshit sans being told "You made baby Jeebuzz CRY!" (BLESSINGS REMOVED -25,003 KICK WARNING!).

 

Your individualness is something that adds to the unique flavor of the people who inhabit ExC.

 

 

Over there? You will assimilate to whatever they think and practice, or you are simply fucking g o n e

No reason for you, once joining the Crowded Crowing Ravenutz for the Sanctified Jezzus Love of Gowhd Board O'Love, to not conform to their *unique* perspectives and form of godliness.

 

Once you find that you no longer are a slanted obtuse semi round sliding device in a half circumular hole, then enjoy being out.

 

Going to most xtain sites, like attending their worship bodies is somewhat like giving your mind to them to allow them to make you *rite wit der gohwD*.

 

Enjoy simple Freedom. It is as good as you want to make it. Suggest that if you spend on.line, on.ass time that you find places of interest in a non-religious context to go inhabit and learn about the wonders around you in a context that doesn't require you to hang your brains on a peg at front door.

 

Goddamnittofuck!

 

kFL

[Grandpa Harley]

kFL - the wind beneath our wings!

[ShackledNoMore]

Amen! (To borrow a word that must be heard alot on the xian forums.) Some like to visit them--great if they do, but I personally have no desire to, and spending too much time on them would just make me want to barf. I had enough of that crap for a lifetime when I was a xian. Now I do a minimal amount of lurking as an unregistered guest, usually for 5 or 10 minutes after I've followed a link from here.

[Luke Wolf]

Myself, I love picking verbal fights with fundies. I usually only last a few hours at any christian site, but I find it to be fun to throw there own words in there face.

 

Also, such aggression can sometimes violently shake some peoples faith. Saving someone from that path always makes your time well spent.

[Astreja]

I don't have time for Christian boards; I already have half a dozen fora on my daily Internet romp. The closest I get is one moderately religious multi-faith forum that has a few agnostic and atheist members in good standing. My persona there is a lot more civil; here on Ex-C I can let loose with verbal napalm when the urge hits me.

[Connie Goodnow]

Eh. I used to go on Christian boards just to stir up the shyte. I don't anymore. Disrespecting people is pretty well beneath me these days.

Besides, I'm fighting for their right to believe in whatever they want to believe in. So I just let them go their way and I go mine.

 

Life is too short for all the bull......

[OnceConvinced]

Basically, I love a good argument. (I remember an old boss of mine complaining I was too argumentative!). I normally have to be in the mood though. Sometimes I get to the point where I just can't be bothered arguing any more so take a long break from a particular website.

 

When I first came here I was considering deconverting. I listened to a lot of arguments from other members and enjoyed the heated debates between our members and the few Fundies that came along. At one point I said, well God if you're really there and you really don't want me to deconvert, you need to do something. So I gave him the opportunity. I said, I'll take some of the arguments I've adopted here and go to a Christian site and challenge them with them there. So I did. And just came out even more convinced that ever that the Christian arguments were wishy washy at best and that I could never take them seriously again.

 

Now I still visit Christian websites, mainly to have a good argument, but also to help fine tune my arguments and make them stronger.

[LithaB]

Before my deconversion I was a regular on a Catholic board. My deconversion was quite sudden, probably because I was in denial for as long as possible. I simply stopped posting on the Catholic site, though I did pop in to read other's posts from time to time. When one of the mods finally noticed I was no longer posting she emailed me and I told her I no longer believed.

 

The next time I dropped in to read posts I couldn't even log in. I had been banned without ever making a single negative post.

 

So... screw 'em!

[white_raven23]

The only christians I take any interest in, are the ones who barge in here. This is Dave's House. He makes the Rulz. And the one think I find interesting about Dave's Rulz as popposed to the ruls on christian forums....there aren't too many rules. Whereas over on Christian forums their Rules are constantly in a state of expansion to curb all behavior and censor any dissent. Their forums restrict freedom of speech. I have no need to go there to offer my two cents. They will always assume I'm there to "convert" them away from their beliefs. Unsurprising, seeing as that's the only reason they would come here.

 

I don't believe in converting people to non-belief. Seems totally counter-productive. I got where I am now thanks to a willingness to embrace my own freedom of thought. I have to ensure that others have that same freedom. Which they really won't have if I'm beating them over the head with the Atheist Manifesto.

 

Now when christians come here...I will happily argue with them. Because nothing they say is going to trump the basic fact that THEY came HERE. It's just like a home invader. Someone comes climbing in YOUR window....it's Open Season on their ass.

[starelda]

I still post on a Christian forum. I signed up there when I was a Christian and got to know people. I don't really debate, I just like to chat there.

[twincats]

Amen! (To borrow a word that must be heard alot on the xian forums.) Some like to visit them--great if they do, but I personally have no desire to, and spending too much time on them would just make me want to barf. I had enough of that crap for a lifetime when I was a xian. Now I do a minimal amount of lurking as an unregistered guest, usually for 5 or 10 minutes after I've followed a link from here.

 

The only thing I've ever done is lurk and, like Shackled, only after linking from here. I'm there for like, five minutes and get that feeling and leave. I can't relate to it on any level, since I never knew anyone like that when I was Lutheran (yes, all the jokes are true!)