Jump to content

I'm New To Forum..here's My Story


Recommended Posts

My name is Bobby. First, I'm happy I found this site. I have become an outspoken critic of organized religion the last number of years and I am in the process of taking my story out to the public in an open forum. I was born in Newark, New Jersey in 1960 in a 99% Italian Roman Catholic neighborhood. There were some protestants spinkled in but mostly Catholic. I was the last of 4 children and since I came late, I was sent to Catholic schools probably because Newark was changing rapidly and becoming a very dangerous place and my parents wanted me to be in a safer environment and getting a better education. (in their minds). I didn't go to Cathechism but went to 2 years nursey school and right to 1st grade in St. Michael's grammar school. So like all catholic children, I was told that God was real, and was watching me at all times. I was also told that Santa Claus is real and was watching me at all times. I was also told the tooth fairy was real but only came down when I lost a tooth. Too young to decipher anything your told so you believed it all.

When I was 7 in 2nd grade, the thing that changed everything as I look back in hindsight was the death of my father in 1967. Again to young to understand what is life is let alone death. So all relatives are telling me he went to heaven and he's watching me at all times. My dad was not a church guy. He smoked, drank heavily, partied at taverns and wasn't a nice person to his own family, had no religious doctrine in his life. Yet he's in heaven.. Ok I'll buy it.. Still too young to know anything. I started asking questions to people around me, friends, nuns, priests, and was told the things all these believed in. I was inquisitive to say the least. Now mind you, not only having to deal with religious studies all day and it was the 60's and discipline was still handed out by teachers and nuns, so we were hit if they felt it necessary to do so. Every Sunday, I had to get up early and go to 9:00AM Mass and have the nuns take attendance. You better be there. The nuns didn't want hear any excuses on Monday morning or you were hit, punished, embarrassed in front of everyone. Being sick wasn't a good enough excuse. Funny thing I remember, only I went to church, my mother and father didn't because they WERE NOT RELIGIOUS.

I would say by about 4th grade and being 10 years old, I woke up one day and said to myself, All those who teach this stuff and believe, How do they know it's true?. This is where I became annoyingly inquisitive. Without even going further, I remember saying, I Don't believe this stuff. Now remember I still have over 4 years left of grammar school and I started getting a little vocal with my Mom and she didn't like it one bit. After all I'm just 10, what do I know. Every Ash Wednesday, we had to walk around with stupid ashes on our head. I would go to the bathroom during the day and wipe them off. I never believed that we had to sacrifice something we liked during lent and especially on Friday's I would make sure I would eat Pepperoni, Salami or any meat product right in front of her to show her How silly I thought this whole thing was. It was really tough getting through these times. It would have been so easier if my mother just said, You know what, I don't believe either, just get through it. But she made me go through it and got upset when I fought it even though she didn't believe it. Sound strange don't it.

By 5th grade and 11 years, I actually signed up to be an alter boy for 2 reasons. Not that I believed in this shit either.

1. Whenever there was a weekday morning mass or funeral, I would have my turn and get the hell out class which I hated more than church.

2. When your an alter boy, you may be scheduled to do the 10, 11 or 12:15 mass which meant I was excused from going to the 9:00 Mass and I got to sleep later on Sunday. Believe me, I thought all this out.

So I just did my time and by the age of 14 I graduated grammar school and ran out of there. But that's not the end.

Unfortunately Newark became very dangerous by the mid 70's and most public school kids had to deal with guns and being robbed and beaten so you guessed it, off to Catholic High School.

One good thing, they didn't force me to go to Church on Sunday. But this experience was hell. Taught mostly by the Christian Brothers who dressed in black would beat the crap out of you because they felt like it.

I was rebelling each and every single day. I did nothing in school and just did my time like a prison sentence and when I graduated in 1978, I ran fast.

Haven't gone to Church for 30 years now with the exception of a wedding or Funeral and I'm squirming while I'm there knowing how wrong this place is.


I have been on a quest now for almost 30 years to find out about this whole religion thing. I read books every day and study different philosphies and have tried to come to my own conclusion of what this life is all about. Here's what I've come up with so far.


All Religion is man made...All of it!!. Anybody who follows a religion and lives their life according to what a religious book says should be either have their head examined, or be classified as dilusional. Many of my relatives are strict catholic still and I feel sorry for them. I knew at 10 years old that this was a very big fairy tale.

There are many diifferent literary guides and books that we can read to learn from, get ideas, and indocrinate into our own lives that can help us be better people. The Bible is not one of them....For I don't believe in it all all. I am reading a few things right now that is leading me to believe the Jesus Christ may not have even existed. I have more to study on this before I come to that conclusion.

Obviously all religious people WANT TO BELIEVE what they are taught to be true when they were young. If there's one thing I was born with and is my strongest attribute in my common sense. I may not be book smart but CS I have.


I'm not going to venture into and itemize all the silly things Catholics do such as, Confessional, Communion, Blessing of the Throats, Reenacting the stations of the cross, Rosary Beads, Redundancy of the same prayers, Showing signs of peace, Handing out palm, Existance of purgatory, Baptism, I can go on and on.....

Going to Mass for me I equate with going to see a play on Broadway. It was all theatrics and the same repetitiveness that I can recite today verbatum.

My mother thnks I'm a heathen and that's ok because I'm comfortable with who I am.

Side Story.. My family and a lot of neighborhood families were close with the Church priests and many times they would be at my aunts house or someone I knew and they would be eating dinner there. It was a very close knit place in those days. One day the Priest who I liked the most was at my aunts house and after he ate, I got him to the side and asked him a few things. I'm 13 and in 7th grade.

I said to him, Father, still respecting him, I know you know me real well and my family and every time I go into that damn confessional booth, I always get you but I have to ask you something.

I said for the last 3 years, not only do I have serious doubt about this whole Catholic thing and everything that is taught, but I outright don't believe any of

it. Where do you and all that teach this stuff come up with any proof that this is all true. Where is the truth in a book written so long ago especially the new testament written hundreds of years after Jesus was alive.. I have to know this... Here's what he said....


I respect your feelings and your looking into the mystery of God.......

We have no proof... Our whole belief system is soley based on Faith......There is no proof

That is all I needed to hear. That was the nail that sealed the fate of religion for me.

You see, Most Catholics don't believe in it either. But it is a tradition handed down for hundreds of years. It's wishing thinking and hoping that it is true.

They want it to be true more than knowing it is true.


I'm going to end with this. I have a lot more to say and I haven't even talked about the other religions who are just as ill if not more then Catholicism.


If people knew without a doubt that God exists and when we die, we are going to see everybody eventually, there wouldn't be any sadness at the death of people we love. But deep down, we know we are not going to see them anymore.


But have a thought on that as well which I write about another time.


Glad I found this site... Necessary to be around like minded people



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to Ex-C Bobby!!! Your story was quite an interesting read. I'm glad your priest was at least honest enough with you to say there was no proof. Many people don't get that answer from 'church leaders' even though it's the right one.


I look forward to reading your thoughts on death.

Link to comment
Share on other sites



I really enjoyed reading your story. It sounds like you had the stereotypical Catholic upbringing. My best friend in high school was Hindu and even she got sent to Catholic school when she lived in New Jersey before she moved to Upstate New York and finally got to go to public school. Must be something about Jersey and Catholic school. Looking forward to hearing more from you on this forum!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome, Bobby...


Interesting testimony. Too bad you were catholic and missed out on all the hellfire-and-brimstone of fundieism. And rest assured, you wouldn't have gotten the same kind of response from a baptist minister that you got from the priest on the faith issue. He would not have respected your feelings and would have told you in no uncertain terms that the bible is all the proof you need, and all you will get.


Anyway...glad you're here. Enjoy the community.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome Bobby.


Your upbringing was not all that different from mine. Glad to see you are able to see through the delusion that is religion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome, Bobby...


Interesting testimony. Too bad you were catholic and missed out on all the hellfire-and-brimstone of fundieism. And rest assured, you wouldn't have gotten the same kind of response from a baptist minister that you got from the priest on the faith issue. He would not have respected your feelings and would have told you in no uncertain terms that the bible is all the proof you need, and all you will get.


Anyway...glad you're here. Enjoy the community.


Hi Piprus, I never knew all the details of every single denomination. I only knew Roman Catholic. I've come to learn and study more as I have gotten older. Seems like Baptist are just as sick if not more. At least average Catholics way back when put religion in the drawer for 6 days and become holy just on Sunday.

I have cousins who are born again Xian and It's so hard just to be in the same room. They have this lobotomy stare on their faces as they carry around the bible. Jesus is mentoned every 3rd word.

What happens to people to make them act this way. We've all had hardships, but why do so many run to religion when they need help getting through a tough time. The answers to problems are within ourselves, not God or Jesus.

My brother in his younger days was a Jehovah Witness for about 20 years, he left, was normal for a while, then become born again Christian.

I had cousin years ago in something called "The Way Ministry".. Religion is like a cancer. It can pop up anytime and anywhere within anybody.


Great to talk


Link to comment
Share on other sites

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.