Former Catholic

[Skiergirl24]

As a kid I believed there was a God and that he was good and would help me in my time of need. I went to church, baptism, 1st communion etc. I truly believed without questioning. Then I started reading the Bible...wow, what an EVIL god!! SCARY! The Bible defends rape, sodomy, murder, sacrifice, incest etc. If that is God then I would rather hang with Satan thank you very much! My mother was a WONDERFUL woman...with a strong sense of faith, but also a kind, loving human. She died of breast cancer at age 60 on July 29th. I prayed to God, I begged for him to save my mother, or at least give us more time with her. Nothing happened. She died anyway. In my life I have been physically emotionally and verbally abused - as a young child. What kind of GOD would allow that to happen? I cannot believe that there is a God who would choose NOT to step in and help. Looking around at the state of the world - I no longer believe there is a God! If there is a God he is an evil bastard. Catholics say we are being punished for being sinners...what kind of loving God would allow people to die from Aids...with blood oozing from every orifice...because they disobeyed him! ? The basis of judeo-christian belief is that we are here because we were cast out of eden for sinning against God. I don't want to worship a God like that...like I said, rather burn in hell with Satan! I read a book by Rabbi Kushner that basically says yes there is a God but he is not all powerful and all knowing...he is not helping us because he can't help us...he cannot cure cancer, AIDS, stop hurricanes etc. Well, wow, if that is the case then God is a MAJOR f--K up! God is certainly not a mensa candidate! What kind of moron creates a world and then lets it turn into shit?

 

Nope. Don't believe in God. And I get angry with those who do and try to convince me of a loving God. My friends haven't had to sit and hold their mom's hand and watch her struggle for breath, have explosive diarrhea and vomiting from chemo, become intcontinent and then die young of cancer. Of course they believe in God - why shouldn't they? They have their health. They have never seen what I have seen. I told them...don't pray for me, don't talk to me about God. Wait until something HORRIBLE happens to you and then see how YOU feel. My family thinks I am nuts and they are praying for me <EYEROLL>. I am not allowed to say I don't believe in God because it "upsets them." Haaaaaaaa

[Japedo]

 

 

Welcome to Ex-C SkierGirl! I'm sorry for the horrific pain and tragic loss you've suffered. Ex-C is a wonderful sounding board for anger, sadness and all the other emotions tied up in leaving the faith. Thanks for sharing your story.