Finding Joy In Life Without The Hope Of Heaven...

[Guest CerebralHypertrophy]

Hey all,

 

I haven't been on the site for a while. I came here last semster of college to share my unbelief in Christianity with other people who had gone through the same experience. I haven't really researched religion, christianity, or god much lately, as I have already found enough evidence to trash everything I once believed. I must admit though, that not having religion or the hope of heaven does put a damper on one's life. There was nothing like the euphoria I would get when I contemplated God's love for me and the reward of heaven when I died. I did not fear death, but awaited it. Now, everyday I wake up and wonder who the hell I am and what the hell I am doing here. I have no clue what this life is all about and don't know if I ever will. I still await death, wondering what is on the other side.

 

What kind of things in life give you pure joy and excitement?

[Thurisaz]

Some things that occur to me spontaneously...

 

1. spending time with friends and having fun with them

 

2. helping other people and hearing their "thank you"'s

 

3. taking a relaxed bike ride through the country (I guess that's more of a personal hobby, not necessarily works for everyone)

 

4. and of course... well... do I need to say it?... sex

[pandora]

I know what you mean when you describe losing that feeling of euphoria. I have learned to appreciate other people and I allow myself to be moved by the beauty I see every day... in nature, in compassionate people, in beautiful people (sex is good), in friends, in my relationships with my pets. Real life is more moving than any fairytale, and I can say that even though I haven't exactly had the easiest of lives. It took me working through a lot of depression and despair to get to that point. It requires totally reconstructing your worldview.

 

It sounds really corny and I am kind of embarrassed to write that, but it's true. The more you learn to appreciate in the everyday what you once saw in God, the less painful the loss of that fairytale is. This life is all you get... would you rather die bitter, angry, and full of regret, or content and happy that you lived life to its fullest? It's definitely not an easy journey, and I still sometimes wonder what it's all about... but in a fun way, kind of like daydreaming. Thinking of the possibilities rather than what I'm missing out on while appreciating the things that do bring me joy.

 

At least that is what I try to do. Of course, life still sucks sometimes, but not any more than it did as a Christian.

 

I'm normally not that contemplative, but I'm in a weird mood tonight.

[pandora]

I might add that a lot of people find that psychedelic drugs or marijuana help teach you how to feel this way. Other things that help me are music and meditation because they force me to focus, slow down, and live in the moment.

 

I know I sound like a kook, but I'm really quite normal... as normal as any of you are, at least.

[R. S. Martin]

Without all the energy expended (wasted?) in relating to an invisible, imperceptible Being I now have more energy to just enjoy this life and relate to the squirrels outside my window. I know by some standards, among which are Christian standards, as a human I am far above a lowly squirrel digging for flower bulbs in the backyard. (It's not my flowers so it's okay--I guess ) The birds and the bees and the flowers and trees and squirrels and rabbits and I all share the same space and breathe the same air. We're all part of the wondrous and varied Life of this planet.

 

I also like walking the street about supper time. It's all quiet and comfy when families are having supper. Wafts of food and sounds of friendly chatter escape an open window here and there. Or maybe there's someone having supper on the back patio. Then later people wander back on the street for family time of tossing a ball of whatever just content in each other's company because that is the way people are.

 

No need for me to judge anyone--not even myself--for not measuring up to some imagined divine law of an invisible but threatening Sky Daddy.

[par4dcourse]

I'm an engineer by trade, so I tend to look at things scientifically. All we as humans experience, through all our senses and experiences, all boil down to a series of electro/chemical reactions in the brain. Everything from dreams to dissappointments to religious euphoria occurs there. From that perspective, all it takes is finding another set of stimuli to fire those same neurons.

For the record, I also felt a little despair at the thought of closing my eyes and never waking bothered me for awhile, but I soon realized: I'll be dead! I won't know that I didn't wake up. Helped me cope, anyway. It also pisses me that those idiots jihad creeps won't ever know what nutbags they are. But that's another post

Best Wishes

[godlessgrrl]

The one great thing that mortal finality taught me is how to live in the moment - how to take a deep breath, look around at where I am and what I'm doing, and actively, awarely, be and exist right then, and be conscious of it.

 

I don't and can't live that way 100% of the time, but I do it far more than I used to, because I always have this idea now at the back of my mind that all those moments will vanish. I am their only witness, and every nanosecond of my life is far more valuable to me now that I understand it will really someday come to a final end. That kind of self-awareness makes food taste better, laughter feel deeper, makes sex more pleasurable, good friends more richly valuable, and makes pain sharper. It makes everything much more real.

 

I'm also kind of relieved that I won't be around forever, because it means that someday, nobody will remember all the stupid bullshit I did in the course of my life. Nobody will remember the mean things I said, or the embarrassing things I did, or times when I fucked up, or anything about me. It's also a relief not to have to please some pissy deity enough to make it into their Afterlife Club - I'm enough of a perfectionist already, I sure as shit don't need to try to meet some divine standard of perfection in addition to my own!

 

So really, for me, the lack of heaven or hell is quite the relief.

[מה טבו]

The whole living for the afterlife thing is largely an idea of Christianity and Islam. Most other belief systems that I know of focus more on life on Earth.

 

Buddhism has a great concept called mindfulness. You'd have to ask one of the Buddhists here to explain it, but it is simply a form of active participation in the present moment. It involves no afterlife or deity. The idea is actually used in some cognitive-behavioral therapies.

 

LaVeyan Satanism has the famous line, "Here is our Heaven - here is our Hell." Satanism rejects any eschatology, and focuses a great deal of energy on hedonism in this life.

 

The focus on the present isn't just confined to non-theistic religions though. Judaism itself has no definitive eschatology. There's room for belief in reincarnation, Gehenna/Paradise, or simply being dead - none are considered wrong. Even among those who do believe in an afterlife, the focus is on the here and now. There's a Chasidic saying that goes that if a man has an opportunity to taste a new fruit and turns it down, he will have to answer for that in the world to come. Simply put, it means enjoy life.

 

I'm going to assume that you already know something about Secular Humanism and Existentialism. The means of finding joy in the here and now are more likely to be left up to the individual, but philosophies do exist. Read Albert Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays sometime. There's one that begins, "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide." Camus writes in a comparatively accessible style, but it's pretty deep stuff nonetheless. Even if you're familiar with Existentialism already, you might find Camus' Absurdism to be intriguing. I sometimes describe Absurdism as the mad laughter of Existentialism.

 

I'm going to have to return to LaVey's statement though. Assuming that you had no consciousness prior to being born, and will have none after you die - this is your eternity. Your life is all of the time that you will know. This is your Heaven - this is your Hell. The benefit here is that you get some say in which end of the Heaven-Hell continuum you swing towards.

 

//edit: kleenin up mah grammer and spellin

[william]

Whether there is a heaven or not, is still unproven. But I feel it is much better to live life and appreciate the things it offers. The world is as beautiful as you make it. It is also as ugly as you make it. The most important thing is to be yourself. Heaven plays on giving people high hopes, if not empty. Hell plays on the fears deep inside. Yet they are both concepts in our minds.

have a sense of humour. Do you not see all those stern faces at church. Why so serious, to something that is merely a concept, furthermore, it has little bearing on reality. Observe like I said before, the little things. Slowly you feel a lot more relaxed because you changed internally. Be creative, ask questions of possibility, not probability. These things took me a long time to learn, especially when a 'serious' mindset is instilled. Don't look at the flower on the horse, get down to look. Value your solitude, just step back and observe.