doomguarder Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 This just show the type of household I was raised in. My mother always kept this list posted above her desk. I love it! Religion in a nutshell Taoism Shit happens Judaism Why does this shit happen to us Buddhism If shit happens is it not really shit Protestantism Let shit happen to someone else, we know they deserve it Atheism No shit for me, thank you Zen Buddhism What is the sounds of shit happening Catholicism If shit happens you deserve it TV Evangelism Send more money or shit will happen to you Hinduism This shit has happened before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomguarder Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 I found this extened list online. Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has happened before. Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible. Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it. Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work. Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday. Creationism: God made all shit. Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray! Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. Utopianism: This shit does not stink. Darwinism: This shit was once food. Capitalism: That's MY shit. Communism: It's everybody's shit. Feminism: Men are shit. Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us... Commercialism: Let's package this shit. Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden. Idolism: Let's bronze this shit. Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS. Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway? Stoicism: This shit is good for me. Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening! Mormonism: God sent us this shit. Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again. Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen. Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens. Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit? Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. Moonies: Only really happy shit happens. Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time. Church of SubGenius: BoB shits. Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time. Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not. Agnostic #2: Did someone shit? Agnostic #3: What is this shit? Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. Atheism: What shit? Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit! Nihilism: No shit. And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Why isn't nihilism "Who gives a shit?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 1. Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. 2. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. I would add my own. Unitarian Universalism: It is up to each of us to find our own path around the shit when it happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbie Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I've got a version of that on a poster on my wall. I like Rastafarianism (let's smoke this shit), and hedonism (who gives a shit?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 hedonism should be 'let's wallow in the shit cos it's soft and squidgy' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomguarder Posted August 31, 2007 Author Share Posted August 31, 2007 I like that additions very much! Doom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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