Tired Of Trying To Find A Number To Call Companies?

[♦ nivek ♦]

GET A HUMAN!

 

Awesome resource of numbers and how to get to a forkin' HUMAN!

 

 

kFL

[Robbobrob]

That is a mighty impressive database.

 

I do like the idea that you do get a human being right away at the White House. Not that I have any need to call the White House.

[Mike D]

Now if only the humans spoke english and weren't located in a backwoods village shack somewhere in the deepest bowels of India. Oh, and to add to the fun they usually use VOIP which is about the same quality as using two tin cans and a string

[Oldjew]

"If you are a Ding A Ling customer push one. If your not a Ding A Ling customer push two. If you want to reach billing push one, if you want to reach new customer service push two, if you want to go back to the main menu push three."

 

So you push three and the message is repeated, so you push zero and a mechanical voice asks you; "If you need technical help push one, if you need to speak to a representative push two, if you want to speak to a robot push three."

 

So you push two and a recording tells you; "Due to a high volume of calls your waiting period may be up to fifteen minutes. Your call will be answered in the order it was received. If you do not want to wait you can go online at www dot dingaling dot com and get an answer."

(You are calling because you can not go online.)

 

So you sit in front of your computer waiting on the phone playing solitaire, not for fifteen minutes, but 45 minutes when at last a voice says;

"Hah la wah you plop lom? Plah gave you name and addah."

 

"What? I can not understand a thing you are saying! Can't you speak English? I only speak and understand English."

 

"Bah I am speaking English. Can you gave me name and addah?"

 

"I can't understand a thing you are saying. Are you in India by any chance?"

 

"Yes India."

 

"Look I can't understand you. Put on some one who speaks English."

 

"I get sooper vicer."

 

"Who?" (There is a pause before a Chinese woman speaks)

 

"Hello who I speak too?"

 

"Look I can not go online and I want to know why?"

 

"Why you not go tuln on computel and looky up www dot dingaling dot com and you type in tlouble shootel and undel tlouble shootel type in what evel you be ploblem and evely ting be okey doakey."

 

"Look you dingbat I don't understand you either. I want some one that speaks English!"

 

"Okay I talk to main Chally man."

 

(There is another forty five minute wait why you play solitaire. You ought to be pretty good at the game by now.)

 

"Hello Old Chap I understand you want to tolk to some one that speaks English."

 

"I did not mean some one from England. Look your accent is as bad as that woman from India and her boss from China. Can I just speak to an American in the USA?"

 

(There is a five minute pause when some guy obviously from the deep South speaks)

 

"Yall wanna speak to an A mare eek can? Wah saw I is a mare eek can as yall can get. What can ah do fall you?"

 

"Nothing, nothing. Just forget it! I'll just keep playing my solitaire games and figure it out myself!"