Realizing Your True Motivations

[Ahh!]

One thing that's been happening a lot to me recently is that I've begun to see through the lies I used to tell myself and actually have begun to see my true motivation. For example, I've come to realize that a lot of my behavior is actually motivated by a desire to be love and accepted. I used to try different religions, telling myself that I was looking for "the right spiritual teacher." But what I really wanted was friends. The religious leaders I studied under the longest were ones I had secular things in common with- similar hobbies, tastes, etc. There was a minister, for example, who's teachings made me quite uncomfortable but I spent quite a bit of time chatting online with him because I was lonely and he was funny.

 

I also used to dream of being a minister. I told myself it was so I could "teach about God in a way that could change history." I also sometimes dreamed about being a powerful politician or even sometimes a tyrant. Now I understand I just want to be respected. I feel powerless in my current situation.

 

It's kind of hard to wake up because you realize a lot of your ambitions were really only symbolic of emotional desires. I feel like I just hit an unpaved part in a road. It's hard. I realize I have to make friends- religion isn't going to do it for me, for example.

[HuaiDan]

If our motivations come from within, then from where therein are they supposed to arise?

[Max]

I don't think you're very different from a lot of people. Friendship, acceptance, and respect are the most powerful of motivators. They drive people in their careers, communitites, schools, and churches. And I don't think most people realize their true motivations. They hide them under all sorts of platitudes -- the most popular is "providing for my family" (ever notice how some peoples 'families' seem to need so much more than others?). Why do you think churches talk so much about "fellowship"? The purely social activity of fellowship, in reality, does nothing to advance them toward their stated goals. You don't try to get a 4.0 in school because you love knowledge, you do it because it means you won!

 

In the end, peoples greatest needs are for satisfaction of their emotional well-being. Religion doesn't change any of that, it just makes it even more necessary for us to hide our true motivations from ourselves.

[Max]

I guess those aren't the people you're looking for acceptance from!

[Guest DireInTheMire]

Well I too used to dream about being a pastor, and sometimes still do, but it isn't a respect issue with me. I want to be in a position to help people with their lives. I have this seemingly uncanny ability to draw out the deepest and darkest hurt from total strangers. When I was bartending I have had people literally break down and cry telling me all of their problems. My finacee and I joke that I should get the words "Cry here" tattooed on my chest from shoulder to shoulder.

 

Anyway once I saw the bullshit damage religion does, I realized that education was the answer to world issues and that if I wanted to help people becoming a teacher would be the best place I could be in.

[Fweethawt]

This is a really good thread.

 

Personally, I don't think it belongs in this section of the forum because I think

it deserves much more input than it is getting here.

 

However, at the moment, I can't decide where else it should be.

 

I'll think about it.

 

 

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Just recently, I was made aware of the fact that we all have an "agenda"

that we all use that keeps us motivated.

 

Figuring out what that particular "agenda" is, enables us to define ourselves

and be more comfortable with who we are.