RationalThought Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 I was raised Catholic. My mother was, and is, very active in Church activities. I never missed a Sunday mass until after high school. I went to parochial grade school and high school, where I was president of the National Honor Society, and a National Merit Scholar. Once I was able to read, I became an omnivorous reader. After reading it for its own sake, I did a book report on the Bible for my second grade public school class. In addition to reading the Bible cover to cover, I also read the complete Sherlock Holmes, complete Jules Verne(that was available at the time), all the mythology I could get my hands on, and several sets of encyclopedias among the thousands of books I read next several years. This was all part of my childhood plan to learn everything there was to know. I have always had a strong relationship with God. I have never any doubts about His existence, or His love for me. My doubts about Christianity being the proper representation of my relationship with God started in high school. Mathematics offered truths which were beyond opinion and truths of a qualitatively different kind than that which the Bible offered. The question which presented itself was which type of truth was more fundamental. I had learned the scientific method back in grade school, which teaches that if you don't believe the results of an experiment, you can try it for yourself to see, in other words personal verification. Science is a consistent explanation of what the sense reveal to us. I remembered the work and experiences of Galileo and other scientists, and saw that the insights the scientific method, through personal verification, offered was yet another type of truth, different from both mathematics and the truths of revealed works like the Bible. The question now became what is the relationship between these three types of truth. The only reasonable order for me was mathematics as the primary truth, science the secondary truth which needs to be consistent with mathematics, and revealed works a tertiary truth which must be consistent with mathematics and science. The final straw was when I went on a retreat at the end of my senior year of high school. I had been studying the Vietnam War and many of the techniques which were used to brainwash POWs were utilized to a lesser extent on the retreat: taking watches away, never know what was coming next, sleep deprivation, emotional letter from loved ones at moments of weakness, etc. When I shared these concerns with my mother, her reply was "As long as it is brainwashing for God, it's all right." I was horrified at her support for such techniques and the thought of a God which needed brainwashing for people to believe in Him. I stopped going to church and stepped up the search for a better belief system. I spent the next several years trying to salvage what I could of Christianity while remaining true to myself. One of the most important concepts in mathematics is consistency, which is also a concept which I attribute to God. Using this as a guide, I examined my religion. I had problems with the concepts of God's Chosen People, a man/God hybrid, how we know other than the faith we put into it that the Bible differs from any other ancient work of mythology, and others. I had yet to find something which was a closer match to my relationship with God, so I was still nominally a Catholic. In college I found the Masks of God series by Joseph Campbell. His ideas resonated strongly with my own: all religions are attempts to express man's relationship with God, limited by time, place, culture, human nature, and finite understanding. I learned systems theory and used that to examine religion from the standpoint of a religion is something which propagates and maintains itself through time. I came to find additional beauty, and yet more reasons to not participate in religion. I don't find religions to have many concerns over spirituality and faith, for the most part. Religions tends to be more concerned about behavior guidelines and uses man's natural spirituality as a basis for justifying those guidelines, in general control of the populous. I have always felt an affinity toward Deism, and the idea that God's true word is written not in books, but in the universe itself and its laws. The undefinability of the Tao correlated strongly with the undefined terms which serve for a basis of mathematics. So Deism and Taoism ends up the closest match for my understanding and relationship with God. When combined together, an implicit form of pantheism results. I believe we all have our spiritual and intellectual needs. I have no problem with someone who says that Christianity is what they believe and that is enough for them. It was not for me, and I have serious problems when people say that my spiritual path is wrong for me, and Christianity and Catholicism should be enough for me. I have found what is right for me, and wish that everyone can find what is right for them, regardless of how far it diverges from my personal beliefs. RationalThought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Welcome RationalThought! Like you Fractal Avatar. And who said there wasn't any chaos in order... *** And you know what... very cool eximony... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveL Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Welcome to Ex-C, RationalThought. You've been on a worthy journey of growth and discovery. There is more to discover here than meets the eye. Enjoy your time, read some the posts and get involved - you'll like it here. PS I'll second the avatar comment - very cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 That retreat wasn't Chrysalis or Emmaus, was it? Hmm.... I went on that one too. I loved it at the time, now I look back on it in dismay. Welcome to the ex-fold! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RationalThought Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 That retreat wasn't Chrysalis or Emmaus, was it? Hmm.... I went on that one too. I loved it at the time, now I look back on it in dismay. Welcome to the ex-fold! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It was called Search. This was 1981. Later, I found out that the people running it were very cult-like. No surprise there. RationalThought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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