Things You Disliked About Church

[garrisonjj]

For me it was the same people sitting in the same spots every week. Also, some priest" moaning on" in his sermons about totally irrelevant topics related to everday life,ie. "Pray for the Holy Spirit to enlighten your mind" Yep, at age 50 now, I finally realized what a waste of time, energy and guilt producing emotions all religions are. I prayed for faith! My prayers were answered in my now growing atheism!

Jesus Christ! If you receive holy communion with a mortal sin on your soul you comitted a fuckin sacraliege! Well, fuck. I've done it several times out of social constraints and guess what? God didn't fuckin strike me dead because its all fantasy and wishfull thinking.

[Deva]

For me it was the same people sitting in the same spots every week. Also, some priest" moaning on" in his sermons about totally irrelevant topics related to everday life,ie. "Pray for the Holy Spirit to enlighten your mind" .

 

Same here. When they were not offensive in other ways, just plain stupid sermons on an elementary grade school level. No substance at all. Hard to believe this priest went through seminary. For some reason Christmas and Easter were particularly bad. Maybe it was to dumb it down further for people who hardly ever go to church except those days. Nothing was ever different, the same thing over and over.

[LithaB]

I really disliked "Passing the Peace" and "Communion" during cold and flu season. Half the people in the church would be hacking and sneezing, but they drag themselves to church anyway. Then I'm supposed to shake hands with the person next to me who sounds like they are dying of TB and take communion from a server who has been blowing her nose throughout the service.

 

I kept a little bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse, and would try to inconspicuously use it both before (so I wouldn't pass along anything I had) and after (so I wouldn't catch whatever they had) but I don't think most of the other parishoners used the same consideration.

 

I also hated singing. I am not that great to begin with, and the songs were invariably in a key so hight that is painful for me to sing. Whenever possible I would go to the 7:00 AM service because the music director didn't get up that early. The first service on Sunday was music-free and therefore a good 10 minutes shorter as well.

[ShackledNoMore]

I've always hated standing in one place for prolonged periods, and especially in some of the Pentecostal churches I've been to with hours long services, including my primary church, we'd go inordinate amounts of time without being able to sit down.

[Max]

The music, damn it, the music! The dirge-like, plodding, organ music accompanied by words that had to imitate old English. "Sing with us now, verses 1,2, and 4 from hymn number 379." Why did we always skip the third verse? Those with the worst voices singing the loudest. Singing the refrain one more time. Singing "Ah-men" at the end of everything. A choir with no sopranos, wearing draperies.

 

Especially "Onward Christian Soldiers" - that was the worst one. Could you imagine the repercussions if a group assembled to sing, "Onward Muslim Soldiers"?

[garrisonjj]

For me it was the same people sitting in the same spots every

Another thing I used to observe was a female co worker of mine, humbly praying and receiving in church. At work, however, the Jeezuschrists, fuck and goddamns would flow freely from her mouth.

[mwc]

The singing. I refused. I followed along in the hymnal but wouldn't sing. I suck at it and didn't think I should have to do it if I didn't want to. I did do some of the little sing along bits if they were a part of the actual ceremony/service stuff but not the hymns themselves.

 

I also never could understand why we had hundreds of songs in that book but in 30 odd years I only heard maybe a dozen of them. What's up with that? If you're not going to play them cut them out and drop 20 pounds I don't have to lift.

 

The other thing I really hated was the constant stand-up, sit-down crap. Up, down, up, down, up, down for every stupid little thing. Does this stupid god really give a fuck if I say "amen" while sitting on my ass? It really got annoying when my back was hurting or something because, being young, I couldn't honorably opt-out like the old folks and endured for old baby god (usually making things worse for me later on).

 

Oh well, those are the big couple of things I couldn't stand for the most part.

 

mwc

[R. S. Martin]

The hours-long sermons that were the same every last time and if I didn't like them that proved there was something lacking in me, not the sermon because the sermons were inspired of god and there could not possibly be anything wrong with god. The singing was the one thing that made church tolerable for me because I love singing. I would arrange to be there for the singing, even if I arranged to be there for only it and left right after. The socializing before and after church was enough to bring on a migraine.

[Kelli]

By far the thing I hate(d) most was (is) the two-faced-ness of church. Everyone is looking perfect, talking nicely to their spouses and kids, and always with a big smile on their face. But the truth is all that whitewashed nicey-nice rarely makes it past the door and into the parking lot, much less all the way home and into everyday life.

[Naughtyhamster]

I always wondered how the pastor could afford two nice cars, a three bedroom house in a nice neighborhood ( where houses now are going for $400,000 and up now) a Harley Davidson, and to send his two kids to private school on a $15,000 a year salary in one of the most expensive areas of California (Orange County). He said the Lawd sends us what we need, but whenever I would cry,pray, and beg to the Lawd in church for even a part time job nothing fucking happened. Even it seemed like things fell out of the sky for other people though. It wasn't until I figured out people were either getting stuff by using the tithe money or they were drug dealers I guessed how they got their "Desires from the Lawd."

[RIPw4]

I liked the homilies (sp?) We always had good priests, but the singing and standing and sitting and all the ritual and prayers sucked donkey balls!

 

I have always enjoyed a commentary about life though which is what our priests always did. My old church was actually pretty decent. the more liberal of the churches around here.

[DeanLautermilch]

I hated holding hands in one church when people were going to come forward.

 

I also talk about not liking being greeted with a kiss as the NT instructs. Church of Christ was into that. I put on my website that I could relate to Francis from 'Stripes' about being touched without my permission. http://youtube.com/watch?v=jTUruCv4Qi4

The text is under 'Macland Road Church of Christ' towards the bottom of this page. http://www.swindledforjesus.com/My%20Chris...%20History.html

 

I hated the 'We are such good Christians' acting that in some cases did not make it past the lobby in churches. I'm sorry I wasted so much time and money.

[Lycorth]

I was fine with all the pomp and circumstance in my old Catholic church. The whole display is a hateful farce to me now, given the nature of what it is the Church is glorifying, but back then I had fun with it.

 

Even now I think most of the aesthetics are quite beautiful, despite the aforementioned disgusting nature of the Xian religion.

[par4dcourse]

The church of god had a pastoral rotational system, like most organized religions. Our pastor and elders were so buddy-buddy that he stayed from the time I can remember until his death a few years ago. The sermons made rotation about every three months (the phrase I hated worst was "this veil of tears"). I entertained myself as a kid pretending that these people were rejoicing that god was allowing them to go potty. Hey, I was a kid.

[Mythra]

I hated the endless, ENDLESS appeals to give more money. Swear to god it felt like a mafia squeeze.

 

There was always some important project, some new idea that God had brought forth. And it always required more giving.

 

Didn't matter what your personal financial circumstances were. Give. More. Today.

 

God is one needy mutherfucker.

[The Sage Nabooru]

The sermons, dear God, the sermons. Look, I'd be willing to go to a church if I didn't have to sit through the pastor droning on about "God BECOMING IN - CAR - NATE!! The SHEDDING! Of the BLOOD! Of the LAMB! Of GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!! Do you get it, you sinful little pieces of shit? We suck, and God bailed us out for NO REASON because we don't deserve it!! Have I made myself clear? Apparently not, because I'm going to make my next eighteen sermons just about this subject, like you have never heard of it before every time!" for FORTY. FIVE. MINUTES.

 

Look, I'm happy to go up and get my little glass of wine and wafer, "sing" through a few hymns, stand up and sit down a few cycles. I don't mind. I just hate them damned sermons. Total waste of time. Or, if you're going to have a sermon, make it ten minutes long. Because after that point you're just repeating everything you're already said, just with a more pronounced emphasis. Cut that sermon out and you'll see a 50% increase in church attendance. Of course, that's not going to happen, because no pastor is going to convince himself that he is not, in fact, a sermonical genius, nor are his sermons nearly so clever and funny as he thinks they are.

 

Kids in church. I hate kids everywhere but screaming babies in church are the worst. I wish Jesus had cut that "little children, come to me" crap and replaced it with "Get them brats outta my house."

 

And lastly, the dress code. I actually hate the churches that make a big deal out of "OMG WE WEAR JEANSES!!! LOOK AT HOW TOTALLY INFORMAL WE ARE!!! WE IS ALL ABOUT THE LAWD WHO LOVES LOAFERS!" So? I can wear jeans to the St. Louis Bread Company on Sunday morning, too. In fact I am capable of wearing jeans in a lot of places, I know from experience. And if I go to the Bread Company I don't have to sit through a pretentious self-righteous asshole of a minister delivering thinly-veiled fundamentalist money gospel who thinks he's the shit because he's in jeans.

[starelda]

I hated the singing. I felt that I had to sing but every song or hymn was always too high for me and so I'd spend each service pitying those who'd had the misfortune to sit near me.

 

Other than that it was just simply having to get myself out of bed in time. No lay in, an hour and a half less to spend with my husband (he was an atheist then, still is, and so didn't go with me), or even just an hour an a half less to do something more useful. It just felt like it was zapping useful time away from me yet I felt guilty if I didn't go.

[Naughtyhamster]

I didn't mind being hugged by kids, women, and the elderly folks at church but some of the single (and even married) guys would squeeze me against their chest like I was a plush toy and subtley rub their chests against my breasts. Sometimes one of the married guys at church would flirt and make comments like "You're one pretty young lady." when their wives were not around.

 

Or sometimes I would want to grab a doughnut and some coffee after the womens' bible study, but the pastor and the mens' group would get to them first and eat every crumb of doughnut and drink all the coffee. Later on the pastor made a "Ladies and elders first" policy ( after his wife complained to him about it) when it came to our after study treats, but still us women would find empty doughnut boxes at times.

[twincats]

1.Sermons. BOR-ring 98% of the time.

 

2. The offering, along with the feeling of indignation that I had to give them my money mixed with guilt for not giving them enough.

 

3. Having to process (that's PROcess as in march in twos to the processional hymn) up the main aisle all the time in choir. Need I even say I loved the singing?

 

4. Evangalism Sunday; I mean who CARES how many souls they're converting in Ghana when it means you have to sit there for an extra 15 mins.?? :angry:

 

5. When the Gideons visited twice a year; see #3 above.

 

6. But the WORST was "passing the peace" which didn't even start in our church till the 80's sometime (and shortly before I quit going) Whichever touchy-feely dumbfuck ever convinced our nice hands-to-ourselves Lutheran church to indulge in this self-conscious wankery needs a boot to the head!

[מה טבו]

The shouting and chaos were certainly less than appealing. I really didn't know the people there or like them very much - we only attended sporadically, so I always felt kind of like a stranger.

 

That being said, there was something intangible there - something to which I cannot assign words - that made my skin crawl. It was like that feeling you get around a perverted old man or some of the psychotic people on the subway - that vague sensation of danger. There was something about the smell and sound of the place that made me want to run for the hills.

[Robbobrob]

here is a joke my minister made yesterday during her sermon.

 

There were two brothers. 8 and 12, who were known throughout the town as troublemakers. If there were hijinks involved, these two boys would be in the thick of it.

 

Finally their parents, at wits end, hear of a nearby preacher who was said to work wonders with misbehaving children. So, the parents ship the youngest off to the preacher.

 

The preacher looks down at the boy and in a stern voice says, "Where is God?"

The little boy says nothing.

The preacher says again, in a louder voice, "Where is God?"

The boy says nothing.

In a scream, the peacher bellows, "WHERE IS GOD????"

The little boy jumps up from his seat, runs out the door, all the way back to his house, and hides in his closet.

His older brother knocks on the closet door and asks what happened with the preacher.

 

"We are in big trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE took him!"

[Rhia]

I hated the music, I hated the sermons, I hated sitting there when I was so hungry that I wanted to just start snacking on the "Lord's Supper" wafers (my foster mom thought that eating during church was sacreligious, so it didn't matter that I would get cranky and faint without something to eat).

 

I hated that there was nothing to do (because again, it's "sinful" for children to quietly colour in colouring books during church - even though every other parent was smart enough to give their children crayons and paper), and most of all, I hated that every time we had praise & worship (song service), that the stupid, fat bitch who would get up and sing would start crying - EVERY FUCKING TIME! She'd cry for at least 2 hours, and being Pente, that was just a drop in the bucket. The pastor never tried to stop her, and it didn't matter if it was a song about being shit and needing to be cleansed by "the blood", or if it was one of those happy, "we love Jesus" songs - she would fucking stand there, hands in the air, stomping her feet like a fucking two year old, bawling!

 

Even at 9, I wanted to kick her ass. I thought she was totally doing it to look good, but everyone else thought that she was the shit - hell, people seemed to prefer watching her cry than listening to the pastor.

 

Goddamnit I hate church!!!!!!

[Mongo]

Hmmm....

 

As a child in Catholic Church:

...I found the sermons boaring. Hell, the rituals were usually boaring. Only the readings of the bible were moderately stimulating. However, the organist was talented and played Beethoven and Bach along with the traditional Catholic renderings. My only relief.

...The priests were either creeping you out or condescending.

...The seats were hard and I was skinny(bony).

...Confession - did the priest really think I'd tell **him** what I'd done??? (Hence, I hated the lying part).

 

I was born again at age 17 & turned Protestant.

There were many things I liked about Pentecostal Churches. I have a good voice and loved singing.

 

What I hated was...

...Utter stupidity of the bleating sheep. I swear the flock embarassed me out of the fold. Even after a bevy of Televangelists have publically embarassed themselves, I listened to many people tell me about how such and such TV ministry has blessed them.

...Urban church myths were readily accepted as true if they supported the christian argument even if it was illogical for a person in question to possess that motivation. E.g. Scientests hate god.

...The pervasiveness of coersive pursuasion which seeks primarily to deny people free thought and free choice (decidedly unscriptural).

...The ultimate incohesiveness of basic doctrine and how the flock avoids critical thinking.

...Abusive/pushy xtians in the name of Jesus

 

Mongo

[Bongo]

The. Singing.

 

Now i can appreciate a good beautiful church song sometimes. Some are good! Some are grand! Some even today still give me goosebumps! "It is well with my soul" for instance. Others....well, there are others...

 

However, I am not a singer. To be polite, i can sometimes generate enough energy to embarrass myself for a verse or two, and if that's all they were asking for, then, to be polite, I'd do it. But they have song after song after song. And some songs required happy clappies! And it becomes literally painful to sing through it all. I feel faint, exhausted, and sore throated.

 

So I boycott all songs. Even if I am slightly interested in singing maybe just one--I wont. Because they never ask for just one.

 

I also HATE the prolonged singing when someone goes up to talk to preacher.

 

I remember well how I used to love the song, "Just as I am". Until one day some christard made the walk during the invitation. And then another and another. Each one had to talk to the pastor, or slobber on him, or otherwise cause endless eternities to last before lunch.. And we sang throughout it all. About 18 verses at least. It was a Clockwork Orange moment for me. Not only do I HATEHATEHATE singing even more, I HATE that damn song!

 

bongo

[Toxic]

1. Sermons

2. Passing the Peace

3. One church I went to tried to be very family friendly so had loads of kids screaming and bawling throughout the service.

4. Christian music

5. Testimonies

6. Having to listen to people speak in tongues

7. Having to endure all this on a Sunday morning when I could be having a well deserved lie in

8. Having to endure all this on a weekday night when I could be in the pub instead