Admin webmdave Posted September 25, 2007 Admin Share Posted September 25, 2007 An oldie but a goody reposted from http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCan...dian_10-02.html: October 2002 Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them: When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted fan, Jim http://exchristian.net/exchristian/2007/09...n-canadian.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldjew Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 I have seen this before about two years ago and laughed then. I wonder if he ever got an answer. I was reading a post on CFI a few minutes ago from a Xian who claimed the bible was absolutely true for the fact it said it was. Yeah right. So if I wrote a story about talking lizards and said it was true would that make it true? It seems most people are gullible when some one tells them a book is true and when the book its self says its true. Absurd! Oh I just don't know about these craze-zee Crisp-ians or Crisp-puns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Every time I see this one I get so proud of the fact there are other, non-deluded intelligent people in Utah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 I happen to own several Canadians. On CD, I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 If we don't keep our sense of humor about them, then they win. People who cannot take a joke are dangerous people indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 I own a Canadian... (briar pipes with long stem). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 They do make the healthiest bacon. Mmmmmm. Canadian Bacon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 That should say: WHY CAN'T I OWN AN AMERICAN? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 No, there's a perfectly logical reason it's not asking that. Who would want to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luck Mermaid Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 hee hee hee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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