Spoomonkey Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I read that phrase ("not a joiner") somewhere here and it fits me to a "T". A friend of mine who knew me back when I was in Bible College and ministry was excited to hear about the changes in my life and how I identify now with paganism. He asked me if I was a part of a group and kept saying how cool it was ot think of me running around with pagan friends... If he only knew the group of people I really run around with... I kept telling him that I am not a part of any pagan group, though we have a number of them in my city. I actually entertained the idea, but in the end saw the same old crap - dues (donations), set and awkward meeting times, leadership hierarchy, levels of participation and expectations... I just couldn't see myself devoting my time to something like that... After all - I may identify with Asatru - but its not like I really believe Thor is running around or needing my attention. It is just the one form of Paganism that caught my attention. The group were nice enough folks - kind of geeky - I'll admit - but nice enough. They weren't the kind of people I'd hang out with outside of the group and I wondered just how valuable a thing it would be socially (as religious gatherings always devolve into). I guess - for me - the idea of really devoting my time to any form of social group just doesn't appeal to me. I have a very active social life and plenty to do at home when I slow down enough for it. I just don't have the time or interest to replace my "every time the door was open" church habit with a "we meet once a month at the grove" habit. But still - obviously - I am conflicted enough to think about it. It is as if I feel like I "should" be involved or connected... Is that a hold over? Is there some value that I am missing? Will this pass? What has been the experience of folks here? Spoomonkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.B. Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 You know, I think the 'join virus' infects most of us, especially when we were told to believe that to believe MEANS to join. It has taken me a long time to get over the 'but HOW can someone be a REAL (whatever) and not identify with (insert organized religion here)?" question. The other day, I was driving from the church where I work (loooong story) on my way to get a cup o' joe to get my motor running. As I passed a certain house on the main street of my town, I saw a man and a woman sitting on their front porch in big rattan chairs casually reading newspapers. The thought that "hmmph, OBVIOUSLY they're not getting ready for church or anything" immediately assaulted my mind, and then another, better, more beautiful and serene thought instantly took its place. The thought was that those could be two of the most centered, balanced, peaceful, well-intentioned, spiritual, loving people on earth right now, and that would be true of them no matter when or even IF they ever darkened the door of a religious organization's building. Don't feel bad about the "should I want community and something tangible to augment my spiritual belief" idea. Just guard yourself against the idea that joining and recognizing THIS human religious construct over THAT religious construct is ever helpful. It's not. I said to my wife the other day, "Those things which are true about life, such as peace, equality, harmony, justice, etc are always TRUE whether a person pursues them in the name of a 'god' or not. Those things which are UNTRUE about life, such as maniplulation, dogmatism, exclusivity, damnation and hate are UNTRUE, and ESPECIALLY when they are pursued in the name of some 'god'." All the best to you in your search for the most vivid expression of who YOU are and are to BECOME. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 When I finally broke from trying to be a Christian, and started researching all religions, one that appealed to me at the onset was Unitarian Universalism. That was back in 1991. I did not join until 2005. So I fully understand the "I'm not a joiner" mentality. You have to do what feels right to you. Can't hurt to try, but don't ever feel locked in. I lived among the witches in Salem, MA from the late 90s through 2002. They are a fun bunch, but even though at home I practiced many of the same rituals as they did, I could never bring myself to join up with a coven or any number of secret societies that I was offered membership to (mostly Aleister Crowley spin-offs). Loved the earth based philosophy and the secret knowledge aura, but these were not people I would ever just hang with. And so, I never joined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I've felt restless ever since I was crowded out of my native community back in Aug. 1999. I tried a number of churches. I went through the formalities of joining one early on but left soon after becoming a member, went through the formalities of joining another but stopped short of actually accepting membership, attended a few others as visitor, and stopped attending. Late summer 2006 I deconverted. Summer 2007 I got formal membership in SOFree (Southern Ontario Freethinkers). At last I feel like I am a person! I belong to something that requires no commitment unless I want to give it. I agree with the values without having to qualify and compromise who I am. For me it was worth it. If you have comfortable relationships with family or spouse you may not be in as great a need as I was. Also, you can see that I didn't rush it. Some of this stuff is really personal and I would guess each person has to find what is right for them. That is my story for what it's worth to someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Group spirituality is virtually an oxymoron... Getting more than one person involved doesn't add anything to the experience; on the contrary, it imposes rather arbitrary limits on what can and will be done. I'm not a "joiner" either. I feel much more comfortable doing my own thing, when and how I want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomadic techno-gypsy Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I don't mind joining in bonfires/drum circles during the solar festivals (equinoxes, solstices etc) when there's one nearby. . .I really enjoy hanging out with the Chaotes/Discordians, hehe. . .they're a fun bunch, and no membership forms, no ritual to join, no dues! Just chaos. . .I can chill with that from time to time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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