Guest ThinK Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 I've grown up in a strong Christian family. Attended a Christian school since preschool, including high school and part of college. Attended church virtually every Sunday up until my senior year of high school (when my parents gave me more freedom to choose when I wanted to go). I have four older siblings. The three oldest have always been good solid Christians, and two of them are married to other Christians now, raising their children in the church. The other sibling became a rebellion in high school and college and dealt with drugs and sex and other similar things. Then I came along and was relatively normal, but I never enjoyed going to church. I never rebelled in the traditional sense. But I can remember my parents giving me candy if I were to go to sunday school (I hated sunday school and always wanted to stay in the main service - maybe I was just anti-social, who knows). Anyways, fast forward a few years to today, I'm living on my own during college, making my own decisions, and thinking clearly, I definitely am now an ex-Christian. I've never had a religious experience so Christianity and everything with it just felt like something that I should do, but never really wanted to do. That is why I stopped going to church once I was allowed to make up my own decisions. It just felt like a waste of time. It's only been a month or so that I started seeing myself as an ex-Christian. Since I never was a hard-core Christian, it wasn't hard for me to think differently. But I am struggling with how I am going to tell my family. All my friends are Christians (although some don't really practice it), and all my family too. My dad and bro-in-law are deep into the theology of it all, so they are well educated - within the context of Christianity. My mom is heavily emotionally connected, and this bothers me. I remember my mom always saying things like "I'll always love you no matter what" and I'd always say something like "Even if I murder someone?" or silly things like that. But when it comes down to rejecting the very thing she lives 24/7 for, I don't know how she'd react. I can see how other siblings and my dad would - they are much more logical about everything. The good news is, one of my good friends and I had a long discussion about this all, and we essentially both agree on everything, even though he is so much more connected to the church and recently spent several months on missionaries. It is good to have someone who sees the same as you. So I guess my rambling comes down to: I'm not sure how to tell my family. I think I want to wait a while and educate myself some more so I can discuss it with them. I do not want to argue and cause anger. I have already seen this start in some discussions since I have very different political ideas. Anywho, I am glad to join a community like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric_PK Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 I've grown up in a strong Christian family. Attended a Christian school since preschool, including high school and part of colleamily. I think I want to wait a while and educate myself some more so I can discuss it with them. I do not want to argue and cause anger. I have already seen this start in some discussions since I have very different political ideas. Your story is much like mine. My father was a Lutheran Minister, so I spent a considerable amount of time in church. But when I got to college, I found that a) I like to sleep in on Sunday and I didn't really feel like anything was missing in my life. Over the next few years, I took a philosophy class, a comparative religion class, and did a lot of reading, and decided that I was an atheist. I spent a lot of time thinking about whether I was going to tell my family. Ultimately, my wife and I decided that it wasn't worth the hassle. We did, however, politely decline all offers to go to services or be involved in any other religious stuff. The benchmark that I use is whether the person is still a quality person regardless of their religious beliefs. Good luck in whatever you choose... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 It's only been a month or so that I started seeing myself as an ex-Christian. Since I never was a hard-core Christian, it wasn't hard for me to think differently. But I am struggling with how I am going to tell my family. All my friends are Christians (although some don't really practice it), and all my family too. My dad and bro-in-law are deep into the theology of it all, so they are well educated - within the context of Christianity. Sounds like me. Parents were mediocre xtians, barely talked about it. Made *me* go to catholic church with my grandma, but didn't go with us... However, later in life when I told them I was agnostic, meaning that I *totally* did not believe in jesus, but god, not the bible god, might well be real and that I *believe* that I just don't know for sure, this profession started a shitstorm that never to this day (in my late 40s) went away. Not *believings* scares believers, it gives them pause for doubt, which they are taught is not rightous. Some will think the *devil* is acting through you. They will pray for you, feel sorry for you, and *always* look at you like a sub-human. Since most christians are pre-programmed from birth to be that way, logic and reasoning will be seen as the tools of the devil. You cannot de-convert them either, unless *they* themselves are willing to undergo the process. Some are lazy "worked for me this long why change?" others are scared "If there is even an outside chance that I might go to hell, doubting is not worth my eternal soul, If I am wrong worshiping jesus god will forgive, if I am right, in heaven I am!!! People love to hedge their bets. There is very *few* brave people in the christian world. Each atheist/agnostic VS xtian walk is different. It is hard to say how best to proceed. My advice? No matter what be true to yourself. Take things one day at a time. And a heart felt "good luck" to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ThinK Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 Thanks for the replies guys. I don't think it'd be a huge shock to my parents if I told them. I'm often asking the hard questions and have started to more now, giving them subtle hints. I am always saying things like "praise Allah" every time they say "praise Jesus" but they just usually think I'm joking (which I am, kinda). I don't go to church or go around judging others or reading my bible and participating in bible studies, so I'm not living a lie of telling others I'm a Christian and not believing in it. I think that is the problem where people get themselves into. That, I believe, is wrong. So I don't want to be that, and I'm not, thankfully. But Eric you make a good point of not even telling them. Maybe it's not even worth it, and just live my life for me. The sad thing is, my little niece (just barely over 1 year old), is already saying things like "Jesus". This makes me mad. The brainwashing continues to another generation. Maybe I should just move away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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