If you were “God�, would “Religion� be Simple?

[webmdave]

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[Guest Marty]

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Not sure if you meant this to be a discussion, but this is something I have thought about alot.

 

If I was god, there would be no religion. Even as a kid trying to figure this mess out, I never understood the point of worship. God is all powerful, right? What the hell (no pun intended) does singing do for him? Robes? Incence? Choir? WTF?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

 

It is an outdated mirror of a king and his subjects, nothing more.

 

If I was god, people would just be. There would be no need for religion, because my universe WOULD be intelligently designed. There would be no suffering, disease, war, famine, drought, flood, etc. There would be no need for religion because there would be no emotional need for it.

[Monk]

This topic is from the main blog.

 

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Here's my response:

 

For one, the absurdity that is the idea of the "Trinity." I can't even begin to explain how little sense that makes to me. Is it 3 or is it 1? Does god have multiple personality disorder? Do those personalities have the ability to have out of (god's) body experiences?

 

There was no one biblical logical absurdity that deconverted me...more like a cumulative effect combined with never buying into it to begin with.

 

If I were god for a day, I'd manifest myself VISIBLY, making myself visible in the sky the whole world over at the same time. Then I'd snap my fingers and have every holy book ever written rise into the sky and destroyed for everyone to see. Then, I'd cause to magically appear a NEW, CORRECT, INFALLIBLE holy book for every individual on earth. I would then proceed (in their native languages, of course) to read the book to the whole world. I'd finish up with a warning: "you screw things up THIS time and it's armageddon for you guys. period. no questions asked. I, the lord your god, have REALLY spoken this time." Then, I'd retreat back up to heaven, or whereever, and wait to see how bad people botch things this time.

 

Like all good fathers who have children that have gone astray, I'd sit and scratch my head and wonder: what did I do wrong?

[mwc]

If I were God you'd all be in big trouble. All I read is how the big "G" man is always supposed to be benevolent, well I've got news for you, this one ain't. My moods swing baby.

 

Assuming that I even took an interest in this backwater planet I think you'd be about as exciting as ants in an ant farm to me. So I'd screw around with you simply because it amused me. After I got bored you'd better watch out because it's time for an alien invasion or whatever else I can think up to breath a little extra life into my toy.

 

I can tell you this. You sure not invited into my home. I don't want you little pests running around on my kitchen floor. If you somehow manage to get outside the comfort zone I keep you in I can hit you with some Raid or watch you "check in" to my little "hotels" I've strategically arranged especially for you.

 

Whatever I decide about you it only makes sense that I won't pass my plan along to you since you're just pests anyway. If you make something up that makes you feel better about your place in the universe, well, more power to you but I could really care less what you say or do.

 

It's probably just better if you stay way out the yard where I won't ever take notice of you. That way you keep on imagining that I am really benevolent and perfect instead of being just like you.

 

mwc

[Tabula Rasa]

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I've thought about this quite a lot actually. I'd sort of hit the reset button in a manner of speaking. I'd heal everyone of any illness, infirmity, etc etc. I'd also make everyone about 21. Then I'd institute the main strategy: I would indefinitely halt death and reproduction. No body dies, and no new children will be born. Everyone's incorruptible as mentioned in the Bible. They wouldn't have to eat or drink or sleep and they'd all be indestructible. I would make clear quite clear to all of them that they will stay that way until they hash out all of their differences. Some might think, that if we were all incorruptible, it'd be paradise, but I suspect it'd get boring if there was no challenge or risk in life.

 

 

(My nasty temper answer would be to kill everyone who's hurt anyone in the name of religion, but the body count would be massive, and everyone'd be pants shitting terrified of me.)

[Robbobrob]

If I were God, I'd have more important things to do then worry about what the non-interstellar tribes of a backwater planet in one average glaxay of the universe is doing. I'd be taking a much more BIG PICTURE look at things. It is, afterall, the Universe as a whole I want to see survive....not necessarily any particular part of it.

[Amethyst]

If I were god, everyone would be allowed to eat as much chocolate as they want without gaining weight. People with allergies also would not have to worry anymore. Chocolate would also be infused with nutritious vitamins and minerals, making it the new food staple. Ok, you'd probably get sick of it eventually, but it'd be fun at first.

 

Explains a lot about the Christian god, doesn't it? Wish fulfillment taken to an extreme. Hmmmm....

[SWIM]

If I were god I would have to invent little creatures like, well people, to keep me from getting all bored and stuff. And like a little kid that likes to pull the wings off of flies, I would burn large quantities of them forever just for not believing in me. Of course, to make it fun, I won't make any appearances to them or do anything special for them.

[jfraysse]

Not that it really matters, but here are my answers to my own questions:

 

a.) What are the most repugnant or complicated Christian/Biblical concepts?

 

1. The revealed Evil Nature of the Biblical God, which to me, is rooted in required appeasement or sacrifice.

 

2. God’s Exclusive Revelation to a “Chosen People”

 

3. The “Mission” to Evangelize the World with the Biblical God’s “Turn or Burn - Good News” (Ultimately Important, overly difficult to acheive, failure is catastrophic to the unreached and/or unsure)

 

b.) How did these impact your conversion and/or de-conversion?

 

My conscious, tells me that I should not honor anyone, especially a “god”, that thinks, speaks or acts in an evil fashion and then hypocritically violates its own rules. Since the actions of the Biblical god span the gauntlet of human emotions and evil deeds, the origins of “this god” are best explained as man-made. Every “god inspired” evil action, dogma or command flows down stream from this explanation.

 

c.) If you were “God-for-a-Day”, how would you act toward your creation? Would you make the knowledge of yourself simple? If so, how? Would you have rules? If so, what rules?

 

• I , god, am all-powerful and all-good. Knowledge of me (god) would be simple and undeniable to all humans as I would communicate the knowledge of my will to every individual at all times.

• Damaging pain and suffering would only result from Evil-on-Evil conflict. I, god, would always protect the righteous, innocent or ignorant from Evil and also accidents and natural disasters.

• Every Human will be responsible for their own actions and have an “expiration date”. If you are not evil, you will be allowed to renew your existing life (“Life Spot”) in whatever stage of development you wish, and/or come back in another future social setting and time. I, god, would allow forward time travel! You may also choose to go to the “Life Pool” where I, god, will decide how to recycle your Life Spot.

• I, god, would decide how many “Life Spots” can be supported on my planets.

• I, god, love science and will never punish Humans for exploring or asking questions as long as they are not doing so to commit Evil. I, god, welcome suggestions but will make the ultimate decisions, after all, I am god, right?

• Humans will have Free Will. They may choose to commit Evil, but Evil would only be allowed to harm Evil in kind (ex: rapist could themselves be raped, murders could be murdered, etc)

• Evil may repent at any time, but Evil will not be allowed to procreate. If your “heart” is continually evil (non-repentant), depending on what you are doing, I, god, may snuff you out myself. When you are killed or expire, if your “heart” remains continually evil, your “Life Spot” will go back to my “Life Pool” and all memory of your Evil will be erased.

• Parents who want children will be blessed with them from my Life Pool.

• Parents don’t have to get married but will be held accountable by me (god) for evil or lack of support and proper training of their children.

• All humans would stop “maturing” physically at 25 in peak physical condition.

• Non-Human Life (plant and animal) would not require the destruction of other life in my creation, I , god, will feed them and control their eco-system.

• I, god, will not allow any diseases or pests thingys

• I , god, will not allow physicists to conjure up more that 4 dimensions to explain the cosmos and will make most of them give back their PhD’s

• I, god, will allow Pets but they will never stain your carpets or eat the newspaper

• All good guys would have the SAME size penis (Ron Jeremy is the standard)

• No erectile dysfunction or pre-mature ej’s for good guys. Evil Guys? Oh well…..

• Women will have real orgasms, but no periods and will get to look like their favorite celebrity if they want

• Having babies won’t hurt and you will go back to your “movie star good looks” the next day without any Postpartum Depression

• Everyone who wants one can have a boat, a car and an airplane of their choosing that runs on Di-Lithium crystals so they wouldn’t pollute the water or air!

• Toilette paper racks will never run out!

• Women will be able to run their vehicles on “empty” and ignore regular maintenance schedules without consequences. Guys? Oh well…

• Rock Concerts, NASCAR races and NFL football games will never sell out!

• All Humans will be able to eat donuts, ice cream and other junk food and not get fat! I might allow “how you treat your body” to affect how long you live before expiration – I’ll have to think more about this one!

• And the list goes on…

 

What would you do, if you were “god”?

[R. S. Martin]

If I were god I think I would just disappear and not be anymore. It's no fun being this invisible being that most people know doesn't exist and the true believers seriously doubt exists. Besides, the universe is just getting to be too big. It's a project gotten out of hand.

[godlessgrrl]

If I were god I'd probably tell everybody to chill the fuck out.

 

I'd make sure everybody had enough clean water, good food, and a safe roof over their heads. I'd make it obvious who I was and what I wanted from people, so there wouldn't be any question. If I meted out punishments for misdeeds, they'd fit the crime - none of this "burning in infinite hellfire for finite sins" bullshit.

 

I'd probably heal everybody's wounds and illnesses too, psychological as well as physical, just for a fresh start. I'd make Friday part of the weekend. I'd make it so that people could live as long as they wanted, and stay whatever age they wanted, and die when they felt they were ready to go. I'd magically eliminate bullshit like racism, sexism, and homophobia, and make it so that nobody was ashamed of sex. I'd make men able to give birth to children. (I dunno about this whole having two sexes thing, I might do away with that entirely, who knows.) I'd make every computer a Mac and I'd make phone systems work properly.

 

I'd let people worship me however they wanted to, so long as it didn't hurt anybody else. Hell, they could even ignore me entirely, I wouldn't care. Nobody in my universe would go to hell for not believing in me.

 

I'd smite Fred Phelps.

 

Mostly I'd just have everybody relax, kick back with a tall cool one, and enjoy their lives.

[Babelfish]

I'd probably eradicate cancer, STDs, lethal illnesses and serious genetic defects including anything that makes people genetically predisposed to rape/kill etc.. Then I'd enact reincarnation, erase the Phelps clan from history, divinely inspire some scientist to find the genetic factors that contribute to sexual orientation and then become mortal. I wouldn't want to screw with history or even the present more than to nudge humanity in a better direction then wash my hands of the whole god business.

[R. S. Martin]

I'd make sure everybody had enough clean water, good food, and a safe roof over their heads. I'd make it obvious who I was and what I wanted from people, so there wouldn't be any question.

 

<snip>

 

I'd probably heal everybody's wounds and illnesses too, psychological as well as physical, just for a fresh start. I'd make Friday part of the weekend. I'd make it so that people could live as long as they wanted, and stay whatever age they wanted, and die when they felt they were ready to go.

 

<snip>

 

I'd make phone systems work properly.

 

I'd let people worship me however they wanted to, so long as it didn't hurt anybody else. Hell, they could even ignore me entirely, I wouldn't care. Nobody in my universe would go to hell for not believing in me.

 

I'd smite Fred Phelps.

 

Gwen, love you--technology that works. But the "smite Fred Phelps"--that one had me laughing out loud. Not some contraversial political figure no two people can agree on but a Fred Phelps whose demise we had meticulously discussed when he or rep went to Italy some time back.

 

And for heaven's sake you're going to make yourself known in a way comprehensible to us mortlings and you'll do stuff like make us well when we get hurt and give food to people who are hungry. And you won't get mad as hell if we just can't "get it." You rock, Gwen!

 

Hey! I vote Gwen for our next god-election. Anyone second the motion?

 

Oops! this is not a poll. Oh well. Maybe BibleGod will read this thread and take a few hints.

[Naughtyhamster]

Let me see... I would do the usual stuff mentioned above, such as no diseases, religion, or suffering of any type.

 

If I were a goddess I would also:

 

* Give healthy, non disabled babies to parents ( no matter the sexual orientation) who will be responsible for them ( no need for abortion, foster care, adoption as all kids would have parents and no disabilities).

 

*I wouldn't have a problem with premarital sex, and as much as I like gay guys I would make them my high priests. Just as long as they don't mind me getting a bit lovey dovey with them once in a while.

 

* People would have fun jobs, but only have to work the hours of their choice.

 

*Also there would be no poverty as well.

 

*Ban drugs except for marijuana, caffeine, LSD, and alcohol. People could drink, smoke weed, have a psychedelic experience, and drink all the caffenated beverages they want without any health or legal troubles.

 

* For punishments for those who disobey me (as in molestation/killing/abuse of children, the elderly, women, and animals) all sexual organs would fail to work. For example if a guy rapes/molests a child, woman, animal, or elderly person his dick and balls would shrivel and fall off. Also family members of the victim would be allowed to stone the guilty person to death and shit on their corpse.