Televangelist Wives

[R. S. Martin]

I posted this on the Joel Osteen thread and one person responded. I got the idea that maybe it should be a thread for itself so I will copy my post and Grizzle's over here.

 

RubySera said:

 

A few years back I researched various megachurches online. What struck me was the pictures of the wives of the mega preachers. The wives all had these appropriately meek and submissive happy looks. I found it disgusting. It seemed they were saying, "Hey look at me! I am your model meek and submissive wife and I am HAPPY! If I can do it you can do it!"

 

I could never tell if they really were happy and really did believe it, or if they were just part of their husbands' campaigns. Those pics seemed more like ads for their husbands mega sermons than anything else. I'm sure I saw Joel and his wife, too. Another part that stuck in my craw was the role these women had in the churches. They had conspicuous-by-their-absence roles in the church. If their names and pictures had not appeared at all on the websites one might not have given it a second thought.

 

But their names and pictures appeared so conspicuously as though they really mattered. But the way they mattered was that they were relegated off to a Sunday School class of women or children while the Husband was on TV at the Head of the Church. His Voice went throughout the Land.

 

Of her it is said, "The hand that rocks the craddle is the hand that rules the world." The problem with that statement is that it needs to be said. If it were actually true, it would not have to be stated. When tens of thousands of people unanimously turn on their TVs at a certain time each week to hear a certain Man's Voice, no one need ask who is influencing the thought of those tens of thousands of people. When a tiny fraction of that population attends the Sunday School of that Man's wife at a certain time each week we know that a tiny fraction of that population is influenced by his wife's thought. However, we don't know for sure that even the Sunday School lesson is her own thought; quite possibly it reflects His Thought.

 

After all, these Preachers believe that Woman was created as a help meet for Him. Not help MATE but help MEET. Just look at the bold look on his face compared to hers. I think the Bible says for him to be humble, too, and to honour his wife. I'm waiting to see that happen.

 

 

Grizzle said:

 

I don't want to say too much on this, for risk of spinning it into another completely different thread, but... I currently attend a xtian school (I'm in the process of 'deconverting,' although I don't really like that word)... one of the most disgusting things about this place is what women see as their roles. Most of the girls (I use the term girls consciously, since most of them aren't mature enough mentally to be women, due to being babied by their parents) here think that their role in life is to be the person standing behind a man, having his children and keeping his house. My fiancee rooms with a girl who feels that it is her God-given duty to be a stay-at-home mom for her entire life. Everybody that says Christianity is becoming more progressive when it comes to the rights of women is full of shit... just take one step on this campus.

[R. S. Martin]

I had a hard time deciding on a title for this thread. I called it Televangelist Wives but it should probably just be fundy wives. I figured the televangelist title had more flair and anyway, the other fundy women would use the Big Name Wives as models. So I'm going with that for now. Feel free to rant about any fundy female values whether or not they're televangelist related. I just started with those because I can't stand them.

 

Lots of people think women in patriarchal societies have it tough. I didn't think so, even though I come from an unapologetically patriarchal culture. Grizzle's post tells me there are women out there in fundyland who have no problem with it whatsoever. As women we get to be taken care of. We get to be somebody's doll. Or so the dreams can go. Dolls with pretty doll houses and real stainless steel cookingware and cutie-pie baby dolls in pink or blue blankets to cuddle and stroll in the park with and chit-chat over with other doll-ladies who also have strollers with pink or blue bundles in them.

 

So, this is real life, is it??? As in progressive Christianity? Let's see, this is exChristian.net. Well, my rant is about women who pretend to look so meek and submissive and happy on the websites but I'm sure they're one snarling cat on all other occassions except when in the public eye. Something makes these horrible two-faced creatures who, unfortunately in most cases, are also mothers. I say unfortunately because it is very unfortunate being a child dependent on such a creature.

[lemon]

So, this is real life, is it??? As in progressive Christianity? Let's see, this is exChristian.net. Well, my rant is about women who pretend to look so meek and submissive and happy on the websites but I'm sure they're one snarling cat on all other occassions except when in the public eye. Something makes these horrible two-faced creatures who, unfortunately in most cases, are also mothers. I say unfortunately because it is very unfortunate being a child dependent on such a creature.

 

Do you remember this incident?

 

Vail Colorado-Todays information & news from Vail Daily - News

 

Here is a snippet from the article:

 

"She just had attitude," the unnamed passenger said of Victoria Osteen. "They took her off, and she never came back. Her husband went out, then he came back and got their stuff. An hour-and-a-half later, we were leaving."

[Guest Grizzle]

RubySera hit the nail on the head. They have no problem with this arrangement here in FundyLand... partly because, I'd say, they never will have to make money for themselves, or think about finances, or really need to do anything on their own, because there's a thousand guys here who would gladly work twice as hard to make enough money so his wife wouldn't have to work. Don't hear me wrong, I'm not saying that stay-at-home-mom isn't a legitimate thing, but the idea that God wants it to be that way is bunk.

[R. S. Martin]

RubySera hit the nail on the head. They have no problem with this arrangement here in FundyLand... partly because, I'd say, they never will have to make money for themselves, or think about finances, or really need to do anything on their own, because there's a thousand guys here who would gladly work twice as hard to make enough money so his wife wouldn't have to work.

 

As you may or may not know, I come from a horse and buggy community and grew up on magazines for Amish young people and families. (I am Mennonite but we read the Amish mags all the same.) I read many and many a story about starry-eyed brides running into brick walls of reality when about Baby #5 kept them walking the floor at night with colic while the other kids were down with the flu and the parents had more bills than income. I had the good luck of never being married but I heard snippets from those who did get married. This was hear-say. One woman told her younger sister to enjoy her courtship because that was really all there was to enjoy. Marriage was the pits.

 

Then there's Sunday, which is supposed to be a day of rest, but by the time the hassled and harried parents get half a dozen babies fed and suited for church they feel like they've already put in a week's work. Not to mention keeping the kids in line during church and the rest of the day of fellowshipping, etc. And of course it's the ladies who get the dinner on the table and do the dishes afterward. And the babies won't have Daddy rocking them to sleep because they're used to having Mommy doing it. Also, no man who knows his place will meddle with his wife's best Sunday china and silver and stemware while she is putting the kids down for their naps.

 

So we've got the men bored on a Sunday afternoon, and possibly feeling somewhat guilty for producing all these kids. And we've got the women working double duty--trying to enjoy a day of fellowship with friends while at the same time taking care of the kids and dinner and dishes. And of course they're jealous of the men who sit around doing nothing while they are working their buts off taking care of the fruit of the men's loins.

 

These are the harried ladies who will enviously look at the single women in church and wish for the golden leisue times of having a moment to oneself. They will go so far as bashing single women for being too selfish and not helping married families enough. Yet when they were young and courting they held their noses so high because THEY were popular and had BOYfriends. The rest of us were lowly spinsters. Even as married women they have status in the community that single women can only dream of. When their babies grow up these women will have all kinds of people to honour and obey them. When they get old and feeble they can be assured of care because they have all these kids who will feel obligated to provide care. Us singles will have no one, unless some kind niece or nephew decides to go out of their way to take us in. Their first obligations are to their parents who walked the floors at night when they had colic and bandaged their knees when they fell from the bike.

 

And NOTHING--absolutely NOTHING--can vie with the pride of a Grandmother showing off her GRANDCHILD. Because it's the Family that is honoured, and it's the Family that is central. All must be sacrificed for the Immoral Souls of the Children.

 

And the kids must be beat into submission so the girls will make meek and submissive wives and the boys will make appropriate Heads of the Home. And also Leaders of the Church. The patriarchal value system has no room for unproductive single men or women.

 

So there you've got the darker side of the stay-at-home mom's life of the real fundyland family. I think family planning is one of the wiser inventions humans have come up with. And staying single is perhaps on par with that. Not that I'm knocking marriage or having kids. But I know there are people on here who struggle with families/parents who pressure them to get married and have kids against their convictions for what is right for their own lives. I say: Stand up for your convictions. Marriage and kids do not (necessarily) a life make.

 

I'm older than my grandmother was when I was born. I think I know what I'm talking about.

[R. S. Martin]

So, this is real life, is it??? As in progressive Christianity? Let's see, this is exChristian.net. Well, my rant is about women who pretend to look so meek and submissive and happy on the websites but I'm sure they're one snarling cat on all other occassions except when in the public eye. Something makes these horrible two-faced creatures who, unfortunately in most cases, are also mothers. I say unfortunately because it is very unfortunate being a child dependent on such a creature.

 

Do you remember this incident?

 

Vail Colorado-Todays information & news from Vail Daily - News

 

Here is a snippet from the article:

 

"She just had attitude," the unnamed passenger said of Victoria Osteen. "They took her off, and she never came back. Her husband went out, then he came back and got their stuff. An hour-and-a-half later, we were leaving."

 

Didn't know about it but it makes me ravin' mad today. That Vic Osteen looks like a spoiled brat and Mr. Osteen looks like a hen-pecked husband. So that's the opposite of what I was describing above. Do they have to be abusive one way or the other? Can't they just be people?

[Unknowing1]

Thought I'd post this link to a "Girl Talk Blog", kinda interesting. girl talk blog They aren't wives/daughters of televangelist' but they are the wives/daughters of the heads of a non-denominational group. To me the main gist of the blog is do things this way or that because it is biblically expected.

 

If only my life were that easy. After working 10-12 hours per day 5 days per week and 2 hours per day on the weekend trying to implement a new program, running my high schooler to soccer and band practices 4 nights per week and games and performances twice a week, volunteering to work the football game concession stand on Friday nights, cleaning, cooking, washing clothes and also trying to paint all the rooms in the house, I'm exhausted. Don't know when the last time was I went to have my hair cut, just haven't had time, unfortunately salons aren't open at 3:00 am when I am usually up after getting 4-6 hours of sleep so I can start my day to be able to squeeze it all in.

 

At least I haven't had to break up fights between my kids (they've actually been civil to each other lately), or clean up poop from a white rug although last week I did have to clean up vomit from a beige rug from when the dog lost a whole bowl of dog food she had just eaten. I loved their Christmas gift suggestions, books, heck when I read it's usually the Federal and State Code because I don't have time to do research at work and need to read them at home.

 

But, to be honest I wouldn't trade my life with theirs for anything. I do what I do because I want to, not because it is expected or because that is what some man or book says I should do. Same would hold true if I wanted to be a stay at home mom/home school my kids (which I did do when the kids were younger), I did it because I wanted to.

[KenneyVTX]

And the kids must be beat into submission so the girls will make meek and submissive wives and the boys will make appropriate Heads of the Home. And also Leaders of the Church. The patriarchal value system has no room for unREproductive single men or women.

 

From what I've seen, productivity is second to reproductivity.

 

(edits mine)

[Taphophilia]

Christianity fosters co-dependency is women. The more co-dependent a woman is the better Christian she is. It's not healthy.

[R. S. Martin]

And the kids must be beat into submission so the girls will make meek and submissive wives and the boys will make appropriate Heads of the Home. And also Leaders of the Church. The patriarchal value system has no room for unREproductive single men or women.

 

From what I've seen, productivity is second to reproductivity.

 

(edits mine)

 

Right on! And if you're not reproducing you're obligated to help those who are either by changing diapers or donating finances.

 

Taph said:

 

Christianity fosters co-dependency is women. The more co-dependent a woman is the better Christian she is. It's not healthy.

 

And we're talking about religious abuse? I guess abuse is built into the system because co-dependency fosters abuse. Yeah, I guess that's why I'm seen as not submissive--I refuse to be co-dependent. But when I look at what some of my sisters have become, I'm GLAD I'm outa there!