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Goodbye Jesus

Wash Your Own Fucking Car!


Fweethawt

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What the fuck is it with people anyway!??!?!

 

Every fucking time that I wash my car -- and I do it often ('cuz it's black) -- there's always someone that comes along and says,

 

"Hey! When you're done, can you do mine?"

 

Umm, no!

 

Or, "If I would have known you were doing this, I would have pulled my car around so you could do it, too."

 

Umm, no I couldn't!

 

Or, "Hey, you do good work. Wanna do mine when you're finished?"

 

Umm, no. Fuck you...

 

Then there's the good'ol, "Hey! You missed a spot."

 

No I didn't. I never do. Fuck you...

 

 

So I'm beggin'... I'm begging the entire fucking world...

 

When I'm washing my car, just leave me the fuck alone! If you want to bring me a glass of iced-tea, or make sure that I have enough towels on hand, you're more than welcome to perform the favor. But unless you have something constructive to talk about that doesn't entail me doing even more work, just shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone.

 

This is my 'Zen' time, after all... :mellow:

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Maybe if you didn't wash it in the wal-mart parking lot? :)

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Yes!!!!!!!! I SOOOO hear you on this one.

 

With me it's lunch at the office. "What is that?" "That Looks good! When are you going to make some for me?"

I'm like a dog. The worst time to bother me is when I'm stuffing food into my mouth.

 

 

I know these kinds of people are just looking for excuses to jibber jabber, but must it be done so obnoxiously?

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Yes!!!!!!!! I SOOOO hear you on this one.

 

With me it's lunch at the office.

I hear ya... :mellow:

 

What'cha got there?

That looks yummy.

Oooo, that looks good.

Did you make that?

That smells good. What is it?

 

Shut the fuck up and let me eat, people!!! :vent:

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My answer to those kinds of questions is inevitably a startled look while i still have food in my mouth, point my finger in the air to signify "Please wait a moment while I chew and swallow my food", which I do with an open mouth as I make some abortive efforts to answer their question promptly with food in my mouth...

 

 

Bastards!

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Okay, guys, I'll see your irritations and raise you a many-years-remembered smoldering resentment:

 

"Whatcha doin', smugglin' watermelons?"

 

"Oh, got a bun in the oven, do ya?"

 

"When ya gonna have that baby?"

 

"Can I touch your stomach?"

 

"Eatin' fer two, I see."

 

"Had that baby yet?"

 

"Tent Maker sew that dress fer ya?"

 

"You sure it's not twins?"

 

"Still haven't had that baby?"

 

"I'd've thought fer sure you'd have that baby by now."

 

"Holy Christ, ya haven't had that baby yet?"

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:HaHa: pitchu

 

For me, having six kids, I always got "You do know what causes that, right?"

 

Me, sarcastically: Uh no, I didn't. Would you like to explain it for me? <rolls eyes>

 

Dan & Fwee: It never fails at work when I sit down for lunch, which when I am at the office is always at my workbench/desk, that some program director or their assistant will come down and start asking me some technical questions about how to do such-and-such. Or they go through some big long oration about a technical issue, only to be told for the umpteenth time that they need to open a damned trouble ticket instead of coming to me and bothering me while I'm trying to eat my lunch. It's really only two people who do this, and they annoy everyone. I've actually started to make it a point to do the same thing to them. Maybe after a while they'll get it, but it's doubtful.

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"Whatcha doin', smugglin' watermelons?"
Depending on how well I know a woman, sometimes I'll say, "Are you cold, or are you smuggling Tic-tacs?"

 

First response usually consists of ---> :twitch:

 

Which quickly evolves into ---> :mellow:

 

Then usually ---> :HaHa:

 

 

It gets'em every time. :lmao:

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What the fuck is it with people anyway!??!?!

 

Tha e bastards are fuckin jealous because you have pride and are willing to put forth the effort to drive a nice car! Tell em "Get off your fuckin ass and do your own car!"

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I usually hear questions like this at work- if I'm washing a truck that I just worked on. I tell them "Sure- go talk to the foreman. Labor rate is $102.50/hr."

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Or when you're a temp and you get the rude "so how much do you make an hour" questions? I just reply honestly, "I am not allowed to disclose the details of my contract."

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Maybe if you didn't wash it in the wal-mart parking lot? :)

 

 

Oh Dayam!

 

Even Fwee didn't deserve THAT!

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Maybe if you didn't wash it in the wal-mart parking lot? :)
Oh Dayam!

 

Even Fwee didn't deserve THAT!

That's okay. Even Fwee didn't get that, either. :shrug:
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So please. Pretty please. With cherries on top.

Now go clean the fucking car.

-The Wolf

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I don't wash my car. It's agin me religion, except if I need rain.

Casey

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[Waa waa waaa]

 

It's your fault for washing your car!

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With me it's lunch at the office. "What is that?" "That Looks good! When are you going to make some for me?"

I'm like a dog. The worst time to bother me is when I'm stuffing food into my mouth.

 

It's your fault for eating!

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Okay, guys, I'll see your irritations and raise you a many-years-remembered smoldering resentment:

 

 

It's your fault for being pregnant!

 

Sheesh! Everyone is a victim.

 

 

(Ro-bear ducks in anticipation well-deserved return fire) :wicked:

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What? Washing my car? I'm not washing my car. I'm putting glue on it to keep it together!

 

(And Ro-Bear, it's your fault you have to duck.)

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My answer to those kinds of questions is inevitably a startled look while i still have food in my mouth, point my finger in the air to signify "Please wait a moment while I chew and swallow my food", which I do with an open mouth as I make some abortive efforts to answer their question promptly with food in my mouth...

 

 

Bastards!

 

Me thinks you are raising the wrong finger

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Maybe if you didn't wash it in the wal-mart parking lot? :)

 

:lmao:

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I like the Bill Engval "Here's Your Sign" rant

 

Washing your car I see?

Nope, washing the dirt off this sponge, "here's your sign"

 

Having lunch I see?

Nope, the trash can is full and I gotta get rid of this stuff "here's your sign"

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It's your fault for washing your car!
It's your fault for eating!
It's your fault for being pregnant!

 

Sheesh! Everyone is a victim.

 

(Ro-bear ducks in anticipation well-deserved return fire) :wicked:

I suppose that you're just going to sit back and tell us that you've never washed your car, ate or got pregnant, right? Riiiiight... :Wendywhatever:
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Maybe if you didn't wash it in the wal-mart parking lot? :)

:lmao:

I still don't get it. Anyone care to explain it to me? :shrug:
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Maybe if you didn't wash it in the wal-mart parking lot? :)

:lmao:

I still don't get it. Anyone care to explain it to me? :shrug:

 

 

 

Well, because of the sheer volume of people going in and out of wal-mart... lol I just thought it was a mildly silly pun, hehe you guys "tickle" easily! LOL

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