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God, the Perfect Being


Fweethawt
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Pwint out dis suckah an handdit to yo homeys! :HaHa:

 

Now remember, God, the Perfect Being, did all of folowing

in what is supposedly His book.

 

He created evil (Lam. 3:38, Jer. 26:3, 36:3, Ezek. 20.:25-26, Judges 9:3, 1 Sam. 16:23, 18:10);

He decieved (Jer. 4:10, 15:18, 20:7, 2 Chron. 18:22, Ezek. 14:9, 2 Thess. 2:9-12);

He told people to lie (Ex. 3:18, 1 Sam. 16:2);

He lied (Gen 2:17, 2 Sam. 7:13);

He rewarded liars (Ex. 1:15-20);

He ordered men to become drunken (Jer. 25:27);

He rewarded the fool and the transgressor (Prov.26:10);

He delivered a man, Job, into Satan's hands (Job 2:6);

He mingled a perverse spirit (Isa. 19:14);

He spread dung on people's faces (Mal. 2:3));

He ordered stealing (Ezek. 39:10, Ex. 3:22);

He made false prophecies (Jonah 3:4. Gen. 5:10);

He changed his mind (Jonah 3:10);

He caused adultery (2 Sam. 12:11-12);

He ordered the taking of a harlot (Hosea 1:2, 3:1-2);

He killed (Num. 16:35, 21:6, Deut. 32:39, 1 Sam. 2:26, Psalm 135:10);

He ordered killing (Lev. 26:7-8, Num. 25:4-5);

He had a temper (Deut. 13:17, Judges 3:8);

He was often jealous (Deut. 5:9, 6:15);

He wasn't omnipresent (Gen4:16, 11:5, 1 Kings 19:11-12);

He wasn't omniscient (Deut. 8:2, 13:3, 2 Chron. 32:31);

He often repented (Ex. 32:14, 1 Sam. 15:35);

He practiced injustice (Ex. 4:22-23, Joshua 22:20, Rom. 5:12);

He played favorites (Deut. 7:6, 14:2, 1 Sam. 12:22);

He sanctioned slavery (Ex. 21:20-21, Deut. 15:17);

He degraded deformed people (Lev. 21:16-23);

He punished a bastard for being illegitimate (Deut. 23:2);

He punished many for the acts of one (Gen. 3:16, 20:18);

He punished children for the sins of their fathers (Ex. 12:29, 20:5, Deut. 5:9);

He prevented people from hearing his word (Isa. 6:10, John 12:39-40);

He supported human sacrifice (Ex. 22:29-30, Ezek. 20:26);

He ordered cannibalism (Lev. 26: 29, Jer. 19:9);

He demanded virgins as a part of war plunder (Num. 31:31-36);

He ordered gambling (Joshua 14. 2, Num. 26:52, 55-56);

He ordered horses to be hamstrung (Joshua 11:6);

He sanctioned violation of the enemy's women (Deut. 21:10-14);

He excused the beating of slaves to death (Ex. 21:20-21);

He required a woman to marry her rapist (Deut. 22:28:29);

He taught war (Psalm 144:1);

He ordered the burning of human feces to cook food (Ezek. 21:3-5);

He intentionally issued bad laws (Ezek. 20:25);

He excused the sins of prostitutes and adulterers (Hosea 4:14);

He excused a murderer and promised his protection (Gen. 4:8-15);

He killed a man who refused to impregnate his widowed sister-in-law (Gen. 38:9-10);

and He is indecisive (Gen. 18:17).

 

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Don't forget:

 

He was repelled by an iron chariot (Judges 1:19).

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Oh that was just Old Testament stuff.  Everyone knows that doesn't count.  :HaHa:

:rolleyes:

 

Well, everyone knows that Jesus is God, and that He and God are One In The Same, and that Nobody (including Jesus) is good except for The Father in Heaven, the very same Father in Heaven who is also Jesus (since they are one) who is also the biological Father of Himself while at the same time being the Saviour of His Mother.........icon12.gif

 

Anyway, you get the picture! :vent:

 

That Old Testament cop-out doesn't apply here! :vent:

 

 

 

 

M'kay? :wub:

 

 

 

 

 

:grin::lmao::grin:

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Guest JP1283

My brother said that I should read the bible, but to "skip over the Old Testament." Why? Because people turn into pillars of salt? Because there's talking donkeys and unicorns?!

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My brother said that I should read the bible, but to "skip over the Old Testament."  Why?  Because people turn into pillars of salt?  Because there's talking donkeys and unicorns?!

 

hahaha...skip the OT?? Yea, I was told to read the New Testament first...

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Well, y'know, it's like an "Idiot's Guide To Monotheism." You can't actually read the shit that makes no sense to anyone, that'd take all the fun out of it.

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Of course, the only time the OT applies is when they WANT it to... :lmao:

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