girlfound Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 This Thanksgiving I had a breakthrough with my Christian mom who is my best friend in the world. I realized that I was getting stressed during her visits because I refrain from swearing in front of her out of respect for her sensibilities. Swearing is one of my favorite therapies since leaving the cult. This time, I was about to swear frustratingly under my breath, when I realized I could probably tell my mom about my frustration about not being able to swear when she was there – just simply tell her how I was feeling. We’re such good buddies, that sometimes just telling her how I feel about something helps tremendously. I prefaced my statement with, “This is not a confession. But there’s something I just have to get off my chest, because we’re such close friends, and I like to be open with you. And this is not about you, it’s about me.†Then I told her that I swear a lot and that I don’t swear in front of her out of respect for her because I don’t want to offend her. I asked for confirmation that she would be offended, and got it. She thanked me and remarked that one of my brothers always believed that you shouldn’t do certain things in front of your parents out of a desire to show them respect. She seemed glad that I shared my feeling of frustration with her. I said to her, “Wow! I feel a lot better!†And it was true. For the rest of her visit with me, I felt much more relaxed and able to enjoy her visit simply because I got this frustrated feeling off my chest. The most helpful thing was the moment I realized this problem was a stressor for me. Just noticing my own frustration made me feel so much better. Now when I want to swear, I still do it under my breath, but I do so without the added frustration of having a some dirty little secret about swearing, an activity in which I take much please in indulging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 That was an excellent thing you did! Kudos! Repression is really bad regardless of what it is that you are repressing. It will always lead to frustration and/or anger and (generally) more of doing exactly what it is you are repressing (ie. sexual "sins" for religious people). When you actually release that repression and free yourself from stressing over it you'll (again, generally) end up doing it LESS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlfound Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 That was an excellent thing you did! Kudos! Repression is really bad regardless of what it is that you are repressing. It will always lead to frustration and/or anger and (generally) more of doing exactly what it is you are repressing (ie. sexual "sins" for religious people). When you actually release that repression and free yourself from stressing over it you'll (again, generally) end up doing it LESS. Thanks, Strongminded! Kudos accepted with enthusiasm! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Thanks, Strongminded! Kudos accepted with enthusiasm! You're welcome, but it's "graphicsguy"..."strongminded" is the...uh...forum title or whatever you want to call it. Actually, I don't mind being called Strongminded though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlfound Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 That was an excellent thing you did! Kudos! Repression is really bad regardless of what it is that you are repressing. It will always lead to frustration and/or anger and (generally) more of doing exactly what it is you are repressing (ie. sexual "sins" for religious people). When you actually release that repression and free yourself from stressing over it you'll (again, generally) end up doing it LESS. If any urge is repressed instead of managed, then the number of unwanted urges increases. Wow! I think I should've been a mathematician! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Sounds like a Newtonian law actually... Physicist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlfound Posted November 29, 2007 Author Share Posted November 29, 2007 Sounds like a Newtonian law actually... Physicist? Tell me about Newtonian law. I'm ignorant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 It was just the tempo and phrasing of your declaration...similar to "An object in motion stays in motion" "What goes up, must come down" etc.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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