xandermac Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 A friend called yesterday to tell me a former employer had been found dead. I thought the woman was a bitch and I told my friend I really didn't give a damn. I didn't wish her dead but now that she is am I suppose to pretend I liked her? I've heard all my life "don't speak ill of the dead", but what if a total asshole dies? Now we have to act like we care? I'm just curious what you all think? Maybe I'm the bitch. I'm sure the preacher will preach her right on into heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 A friend called yesterday to tell me a former employer had been found dead. I thought the woman was a bitch and I told my friend I really didn't give a damn. I didn't wish her dead but now that she is am I suppose to pretend I liked her? I've heard all my life "don't speak ill of the dead", but what if a total asshole dies? Now we have to act like we care? I'm just curious what you all think? Maybe I'm the bitch. I'm sure the preacher will preach her right on into heaven. Oh xtians don't care about speaking ill of the dead, heard examples like that from them all the time. They ussually say, let god deal with em, or hell will be too good for them. You don't hear many people morn sadame or hitler do you? It's not as common as you think, there are lots both xtiain and ex that will say "screw em" if the deceased was a true asshat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I don't see any need for the BS and fakery that surrounds death. I hate funerals and all other such stuff. I am not having any of it for myself. Xandermac, your honest response was right on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cabin Fever Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 It's like Clarence Darrow said: "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Or, as my grandfather once said: "I don't have an enemy in this world - I've outlived all them bastards!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artur Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I lost a close relative recently, to liver failure. She literally drank herself to death, ala "Leaving Las Vegas." Me being the honest (my wife calls it cynical, but there's a fine line) one, told the truth to anyone who ask, with diplomacy when necessary. She had every opportunity for help in the last 10 years, yet refused to slow down, even when the doctors said quit or die. I'm not blowing smoke; they told me the same thing a few years back, and I chose to quit. The truth is the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 I didn't wish her dead but now that she is am I suppose to pretend I liked her? I've heard all my life "don't speak ill of the dead", but what if a total asshole dies? Now we have to act like we care? It's funny, no? And absurd. Same when someone leaves whatever group you're in for good, at least sometimes. I remember how hard I had to fight my urge to burst into thundering laughter when during my term in the Federal forces a corporal left the service and our sergeant commended on how well he always fulfilled his duties. Everyone knew the truth. I won't go into details here. As I see it, at least with the newly-dead it's a leftover from the times when everyone took the existence of ghosts of the dead for granted. You speak ill of the deceased, the ghost may well feel pissed off and start haunting you. I wouldn't tolerate libeling of the dead... but telling the truth, even if it's not a nice one, can't be wrong. Only possible exception that occurs to me is the dead bastard whose still-living relatives you like... if, say, a child of the deceased has been hit too hard by the death already, I at least wouldn't talk about the deeds of her dad right now, to not send her off into suicide mode. But other than that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 As I see it, at least with the newly-dead it's a leftover from the times when everyone took the existence of ghosts of the dead for granted. You speak ill of the deceased, the ghost may well feel pissed off and start haunting you. There was a more practical reason. It was and is, the custom in many places, to "speak over the dead" ie to have eulogies at the funeral, and in some places you really had to watch your mouth, not so much because ghosts would haunt you as because you might be called out to fight a duel over something you said being taken the wrong way. For similar reasons in Armies the world over, it is an unwritten law in any Officer's Mess that there be no discussion of politics or religion. I don't think anybody particularly minded if two idiots decided to meet and shoot it out or whatever; it's just the paperwork afterwards came to be a bastard of a job. Casey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexton Blake Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 I worked with a great guy. He was a biker. That was what killed him. He attended a biker's rally and on the way back I suppose they were all showing off as I've seen them do. He overtook at the wrong time and went head on into a car. The excuse later was that there was something wrong with his bike. Rubbish. He did all his own servicing, etc and for a biker's rally, he must have double checked everything first. Only a month before he came off his bike at a roundabout through bad driving. I kept quiet. Nothing was to be gained by pointing out what was almost certainly the truth. Had he been a creep, I'd have told everyone but as I said, he'd been a great guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 I was told it was unfair to 'speak ill of the dead' since the dead can't speak in their own defense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 The question here is, of course... what exactly is "speak ill"? Slandering the dead would clearly be unfair, I trust we all agree on that. But how about speaking out the truth that some might not want to hear? Would "speak ill" for example include statements such as "Saddam Hussein was a brutal dictator"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 My dad used to say, "The truth can always be spoken." "Truth," of course, is about as subjective as is "speak ill" when it comes to evaluating the personalities of the dead. One thing we know for sure, the dead are not here to defend themselves. Another thing we know fairly surely: We can learn from history and our own dead become part of the world's permanent history; their lives will never change; only the way the living interpret them will change. This can go on indefinitely, Jesus being a case in point, providing he was a historical figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhia Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 I don't know if this applies nearly as well, but I prefer just letting the dead remain dead. One of my mothers is a believer in tarot cards, and thinks that she can see the dead, a-la "The Sixth Sense"; and with both a dad and an older brother who died horrible deaths - I simply prefer that she let the dead remain dead, that is to not put words in their mouth. i.e. "Your brother is in the back-seat of your car, he says hello". I find it very disrespectful to the members of my family that are one for her to claim that she knows what they are saying from beyond the grave - especially since she knows I believe that they're gone. They're dead, gone, and never coming back - and claiming to see them walking around the house wont return them. Sorry for the hijack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necrosmith Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 A friend called yesterday to tell me a former employer had been found dead. I thought the woman was a bitch and I told my friend I really didn't give a damn. I didn't wish her dead but now that she is am I suppose to pretend I liked her? I've heard all my life "don't speak ill of the dead", but what if a total asshole dies? Now we have to act like we care? I'm just curious what you all think? Maybe I'm the bitch. I'm sure the preacher will preach her right on into heaven. Falwell was a prick. I'm glad he's dead. I'll say the same when Bush dies. CWUTIDIDTHAR? Btw, screw people. They suck anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 A friend called yesterday to tell me a former employer had been found dead. I thought the woman was a bitch and I told my friend I really didn't give a damn. I didn't wish her dead but now that she is am I suppose to pretend I liked her? I've heard all my life "don't speak ill of the dead", but what if a total asshole dies? Now we have to act like we care? I'm just curious what you all think? Maybe I'm the bitch. I'm sure the preacher will preach her right on into heaven. Well, I've been an S-O-B during parts of my life and when they plant me in the ground they'll say, "here he lays a son of a bitch, but he was a well-meaning son of a bitch!" In return, I can only hope they bury me upside down with my butt in the air so that when people can come to visit my grave, they have a place to park their bicycle. Think about that one ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts