I Think I'm Actually Starting To Hate Them

[GraphicsGuy]

"Them" once again being those asshole xians.

 

I really didn't at first. I didn't hate anyone. I didn't hate the xians. I didn't even hate their religion.

 

I assumed they would try to understand. I assumed they would at least admit that they didn't have the answers.

 

I assumed that they would at least be nice.

 

Once again my assumptions were wrong.

 

Oh sure. Maybe there are some understanding, nice fundamentalists who will admit they don't have the answers, but if they are out there, they're the ones who remain silent. They're the ones who sit in the pews and nod their heads while the loudmouths spout their bullshit.

 

Yeah, the big-mouthed ones. You can pull them all out of the same melting pot. Not one of them is different from the other. You could interchange their brains and what they're saying wouldn't change one bit...if they have brains in the first place. Maybe it's just a steaming pile of excrement hiding within their craniums.

 

They don't try to understand. They are not nice in the slightest way. They never ask questions. They never seek answers. They never admit they don't have an answer.

 

They just spout line after line after line of shit.

 

I am really starting to fucking hate these bastards. I need to quit trying to reason with them before I make myself insane.

[Taphophilia]

I fucking hate them too. I too was like you, since after all I used to be a Christian. Though, it dawned on me that even in the midst of the most fundamentalist Christian beliefs, I was never like them. I would have never treated another human being without dignity. Sure, I would have felt sorry for them. Sure, I would have secretly prayed. Sure, I would believe they were going to spend eternity in hell. Though, I would have, at least, had the common decency to validate their feelings and thoughts even though they were not my own. Though most important, I would have said, "I don't know".

[GraphicsGuy]

I was never like them. I would have never treated another human being without dignity.

 

I guess that's one of the worst things. I think I used to be just like them. I really don't *know* that I wouldn't have treated ex-xians and athiests the same way. I knew very few people outside of church...

 

Of course, the few non-believers I did know I treated very nicely. They actually confused me since I couldn't figure out why some Xians I knew were such assholes, but these non-xians were very nice.

 

Still, during my hyper-fundy moments I cannot guarantee how I would have reacted.

[GraphicsGuy]

Just don't bother... I don't understand why you think that telling them that their 1400 year old religion is bullshit is going to accomplish anything ?!

 

I guess one of my major, major issues is the, "Oh, you were just never saved," bullshit that I have literally heard at least a hundred times by now (no exageration).

 

It was the first thing one of the asshats said to me when I started telling my story online about 7 or 8 months ago. I couldn't believe the fucking audacity then and I *still* can't believe it all these months later. I'm *still* hearing that line coming out their asses and it drives me nuts! I literally get seethingly angry when I hear that line. It completely nullifies and invalidates any opinion or experience that I've ever had. It tells me that I'm less to them than the shit on their shoes, "scrape it off, ignore him. He's not worth it."

 

I can even say it makes me feel that way and it means nothing to them.

 

The fact is, they don't give a rat's ass about my feelings. All they care about is that my (or other ex-xian experiences) scares the shit out of them. Instead of being honest about it they get all self-righteous and puffed up in the Lard and say the first thing that makes THEM feel better.

 

They're dishonest, fucking pig-headed bullshitters who don't give a shit how anyone else really feels.

 

And I don't understand why I care so much or why it matters to me, but it does. It just does. Maybe because I feel abandoned and alone and rejected. Even the ones who are understanding get uncomfortable when I say too much. I spent my entire fucking life listening to and serving these bastards and all I get is:

 

"Oh, you were just never really saved."

 

FUCK!

[par4dcourse]

I ignored the JW's at my door yesterday. I would normally engage them for the short period before they fled from the presence of the infidel. Now I figure, what's the use. It's only going to give me indigestion and them something to talk about the rest of the day.

You gotta figure, anybody who swallows the story that they're fed ain't playin' with a full deck anyway.

Put on some good music, fire one up, and enjoy watching the rats who can't seem to figure out the maze.

[BlueGiant]

Well, I'd like to point out that none of us were ever saved, but then again, no one is.

 

In other words, it is entirely fair to turn it back on them, and state: "Of course, but neither are you." Now if they are attempting to invalidate your belief at the time that you were saved, that is another matter.

 

If nothing else, it should really piss them off.

[GraphicsGuy]

Now if they are attempting to invalidate your belief at the time that you were saved, that is another matter.

 

Well, that's exactly what they're trying to do, but I have to admit to seeing some merit to what you're saying...if they allow the conversation to continue without pulling another lame excuse out of their ass.

[GraphicsGuy]

Good point...doesn't make it suck any less, but...good point.

[Unknowing1]

I understand where you are coming from. Wish I had something to say that would make it easier but I don't. When I first left I had real issues with Christians and their stupid asinine ways but overtime I lost that hatred. Or at least I thought I had until I read the article about the Nigerian children labeled as witches and what was happening to them. The hatred came back. How can you not hate a group that treats people the way that they do or breeds contempt for people who are not like them?

[xandermac]

Reality is a lonely place to be sometimes. I don't really hate xians but I hate their disease, especially since I feel that I was cured. I think you may feel the same way. I'm trying to tell these people they have a cancer that I use to have and they're saying I never had a cancer at all. It's frustrating. What I do hate are hypocrites and fence riders. If I ever saw someone that was actually trying to live like a xian I would have more respect than someone that spews that garbage and don't live by it.

[SWIM]

I certainly don't hate them all, and "hate" is a powerfull word. I get "really" frustrated with them though, like for example the "new" one here irritates the shit out of me lol...

 

Hate is never healthy however, and can lead to all sorts of negative things. Life is too short to hate. Best to avoid that which inspires that strong emotion in you, or find a healthy outlet.

 

Like this board for example!

[Scott_In_Michigan]

graphicsguy, I'm not sure what to tell ya about your growing hate. I may be getting the wrong impression from reading your posts, but it sort of sounds like you spend a lot of time dwelling on it. With that in my mind, I suggest looking for a hobby or something that will draw you away from thinking about those lovely xtians. Seriously...get hooked on World of Warcraft, buy a digital camera (if you don't already have one) and go immerse yourself in the beautiful world of nature to take pictures and relax, read a book, cook, anything. Hobbies can be very healthy!

 

I do have to chime in on the whole idea of dealing with the way xtians act though. Only about 4 people know that I have deconverted, and those 4 haven't given me too much grief. But it's the others who have really pissed me off on a regular basis. For example here at work I occasionally will here one of my co-workers on the phone or talking to another xtian and something will bring up non-belief. That's when the smart ass remarks about how anyone who doesn't believe is a moron. That's the kind of B.S. that gets me worked up.

 

Hang in there man! Try to think about something else. If you enjoy reading, I can suggest a few books.

 

• The Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follett. Ironically this is a book about the Catholic church during the time just before and during the crusades. It's an amazing work of historical fiction that ties into actual events that took place. By the far the best book I've ever read.
  
• The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien. Wonderful trilogy...what more can be said?
  
• Fatherland, by Robert Harris. A spy/espionage type book about what the world might have been like if Germany had defeated the Allies in WWII.
  
• Spandau Phoenix, by Greg Iles. Another WWII action book.
  
• Fingerprints of the Gods, by Graham Hancock. An awesome book about Hancock's travels to explore and investigate all sorts of artifacts and ruins from ancient civilizations.